Cyber bullying of My Step Granddaughter

[90503]

A-Bird...a few things here...

First, kudos to your granddaughter for speaking up on this to the adults in her family.
She is still a child and asking for help. That is awesome, and getting to be more of a rare thing these days. To that end, she is expecting the security and safety that can only come from parents and family, and they all need to follow through on her behalf.

She has done the right thing, and now everyone she has asked for help must do the right thing. Without trying to guess all the details and possibilities, the main thing is that she is secure and knows she will be helped.

[Leo_black]

Originally Posted by RubyCamaro

However today kids use guns not fists.

I don't really agree with that. I mean how many kids get bullied every day in America and how many kids actually go get a gun and shoot them? The media coverage every time it happens is skewed because a shooting at a school draws a big crowd. Realistically, percentage wide, the amount of kids who use a gun vs. their fists to try to stop a bully is probably huge. Even so the arguement between using fists and guns is moot because I don't think that's how it should be handled anyway.

The first and foremost thing needed in these situations is to make the parents actually parent their child. If that's not something the parent is willing or able to due or if they're in denial and think their child is perfect and would never bully then secondly get some self defense courses for your own kid and instill the belief that they should only ever lay hands on someone else to stop themselves from being hurt, or to help someone else in the same situation. If the bullies parents aren't willing to try to fix their kid at least the parents of the other kid can make sure their kid becomes a good person who can and will stick up for others.

Bottom line, kids need beaten. I'm not talking black eye, broken bones or anything like that, but a good spanking teaches loads more than trying to be the nice parent and getting no where.

[RubyCamaro]

Tons of stuff happens that never even makes the news. Lots of teens commit suicide. Guns are brought to schools just about daily in big cities. These days it is not unheard of for an irate parent to use lethal means to resolve a dispute especially if someone has already resorted to violence.


I currently work with 2 preschool aged clients who in totally seperate incidents witnessed a murder by gun. One saw his father shoot/kill a person & the other witnessed his grandfather be shot. This is the real world we live in. Schools in most cities are totally out of control. Even in the small town I live in, my son graduated early because he said his classes were just constant total kaos with kids doing whatever they wanted & no learning taking place. Do you want your child to take the risk that the person they choose to fight has a gun or his cousin who is with him does? Violence is just not the way to go in our overly saturated with violence society. You go ahead & feel free to solve problems with violence.


I will uphold the right of anyone in this country to possess a gun. I reserve that right myself. But you best be aware that you never know who else has one or just how crazy they may be.


Most definately though, like you said, parents need to parent their kids. Let them know they can talk to you about anything. Don't let them get away with no consequences when they are in the wrong & stand up for them when they are in the right. Teach them to resolve differences peacefully and to go to authorities when they should.

[Leo_black]

Originally Posted by RubyCamaro

I will uphold the right of anyone in this country to possess a gun. I reserve that right myself. But you best be aware that you never know who else has one or just how crazy they may be.


Most definately though, like you said, parents need to parent their kids. Let them know they can talk to you about anything. Don't let them get away with no consequences when they are in the wrong & stand up for them when they are in the right. Teach them to resolve differences peacefully and to go to authorities when they should.

+1 to owning guns. Not having one isn't hurting anyone, but owning one isn't going to hurt anyone (except bad guys) if you handle it properly either.

When I went to school it was crappy. Nowadays it's worse. Sure, the kids are &^$*ed up, but it's not really their fault. Parents are the one's screwing up their kids through action or inaction but don't want to take the responsibility of their actions. It's far easier to blame the teacher for bad grades, video games for shootings and TV for language than it is for them to admit they completely and utterly suck at being a good parent and teaching the kid positive attributes.

[SSE 4 2SS]

Ok, The troll is gone... I'm cleaning this thread up...

This is our "former super stud HS" football player, still trying to live the glory days...

Buh Bye Wheelio...

[mikeyg36]

Originally Posted by jewel25

I doubt Lupie is a girl. I will tell you this is it is much harder to be a teenage girl that boy. I think girls have it the worse.

I agree with this.

[JusticePete]

Originally Posted by Angrybird 12

Thanks for the support from all those who gave it.

Please everyone all I am asking is to teach your kids how wrong it is. And above all parents, keep checking their social networking accounts and text messaging, incoming and outgoing.

[Angrybird 12]

Originally Posted by mikeyg36

I agree with this.

When I asked if he was or has ever been a 12 year old girl that has been threatened or told to kill themselves was because he kept saying anyone older than him didn't know how bullies in school were today. My statement was to show him he didn't know what it was like being a 12 year old girl with these issues.
I noticed he never replied to it either.

[SSE 4 2SS]

Angrybird,

I apologize if the thread is a little spotty now, but I need to clean it up and didn't want to delete it for the actions of one troll... He was a former banned member and is banned again...

Good Luck to you and yours in this trying time... I hope it works out for the Best and your Grand Daughter comes out better for it...

[Angrybird 12]

Originally Posted by RubyCamaro

Her is our site for support for youth opened to the page with info on cyber bullying. Hope it is helpful Angrybird.

http://www.whoyouwant2be.org/whats-s...ternet-safety/

Thanks, I just saw this through all the other posts. I forwarded the link to her parents.

[Angrybird 12]

Originally Posted by SSE 4 2SS

Angrybird,

I apologize if the thread is a little spotty now, but I need to clean it up and didn't want to delete it for the actions of one troll... He was a former banned member and is banned again...

Good Luck to you and yours in this trying time... I hope it works out for the Best and your Grand Daughter comes out better for it...

Thanks, it's been really rough on her since last year. We all knew something was going on with her. She had become withdrawn, depressed and refused to eat. Now we know why and can work on the solution. She was such a fun loving kid, we always joked around and she called me Papaw Tim. Now she hardly speaks and won't joke around with me. It's just so sad. To know this is getting so widespread we can not sit back and ignore these bullies. Ignoring them solves nothing. The only chance is to make sure they get punished for their actions. They need a life lesson, your actions have consequences, positive actions have positive results and negative actions get negative results. Ignoring their actions just encourages it more. Even if others pick it up and continue you cannot give up, each person that bullies someone needs to get punished until it sinks into everyone's mind it's no longer going to be overlooked.

[CamaroSkooter]

I absolutely agree that the bully/bullies need to be reported, but on the flip side, I hope you and the child's parents are teaching that child to not let ridiculous words get to her emotionally. I know the emotional stuff is much more damaging to girls than guys, but in this day it seems there's a lot of kids with very thin skin.

I'm not at all saying that's the case, but I hope she knows that she can't let stupid people get to her. It will be frustrating at first, but once she learns not to let other people's opinions have any control over her, the more she'll be happy in life in spite of the idiots.

Good luck, and remember to keep a level head with her even when every ounce of your being wants to march over to the other kid's house and tear them and their parents a new one...

[Iwantone2]

I hope I did not contribute to the trolling on this thread, as I am a huge anti-bullying proponent. The Gracie Academy has a great program specific to cases like this, which is the other thread that PoorMansCamaro was referring to. The Gracie's focus on verbal Jiu-Jitsu to show kids that violence should not be the first course of action. They go by the philosophy of "we teach these techniques, so that hopefully, they'll never have to use them". hope everything gets resolved for you, OP!

[Angrybird 12]

Originally Posted by CamaroSkooter

I absolutely agree that the bully/bullies need to be reported, but on the flip side, I hope you and the child's parents are teaching that child to not let ridiculous words get to her emotionally. I know the emotional stuff is much more damaging to girls than guys, but in this day it seems there's a lot of kids with very thin skin.

I'm not at all saying that's the case, but I hope she knows that she can't let stupid people get to her. It will be frustrating at first, but once she learns not to let other people's opinions have any control over her, the more she'll be happy in life in spite of the idiots.

Good luck, and remember to keep a level head with her even when every ounce of your being wants to march over to the other kid's house and tear them and their parents a new one...

I know what you are saying, it's hard to convince a 12 year old that has had her self esteem stomped on for this long that they are only words. I am afraid she is to the point now where it is going to take years of therapy for her to ever get over this, if she ever can. Many have no clue how something like this can traumatize a young girl without seeing it happen right before your eyes.
When she first started showing signs of a problem she kept insisting nothing was wrong. But everyone could see it, she wouldn't talk about it until yesterday. That was a giant step. We are trying to convince her that she is the same person she was before this all started.
After talking to her today we have it narrowed down to someone in her Gym class. There was a comment made about something she wears and the only time she wears it is in Gym Class. The more she opens up the more we are learning.