We wanna' know 'bout something stupid you did.

[Ivas]

Aah, but he's just PLAYIN' like he don't remember. He's lettin' you get careless in your overconfidence that everything is alright, then it'll be "Zap!" and down you'll sink.

Your last moments he'll share with you by holdin' your eyelids open with his claw-ike hands, staring into your eyes with a demonic gleam in his own, as he says' "You shouldn't have said that cupcake."

Man, that almost got me goin'! Sorry bro', I couldn't resist. LOL.

[Steve Dallas]

OK, this one was REALLY stupid. It's the only time I've ever done anything like this.

To set this up, when I was younger I had a decent life, except for the fact that my dad was an alchoholic and would beat me, my brother and my mom regularly for little reason. So I basically was afraid to bring friends over because I didn't want any of them to meet my dad. Example of this was getting whipped with a belt 10 times (till I was bloody) because I "stole oreos sometime in the night". Except, I didn't. My dad would eat them and forget because he was so drunk. Otherwise, I had a good life, sailing, flying and doing other stuff while my dad was sober, but each evening was something I always dreaded because he usually found a reason (sometimes sort of justified like I didn't do my chores right away...or for little or no reason). These beatings were usually a minimum of 8 belt whips, usually more. Half the time my butt was bloody afterwards, and I still have scars there to this day.

The upshot of this was I was pretty well behaved. I didn't start acting out against him until I was 16 or 17 and was bigger than him...and had had enough. It was also just before my mom caught him cheating on him (funny aside, my name is Dennis and my dad's best friend had been Mr. Wilson...though he cheated on my mom with Mrs. Wilson).

OK...enough setup. When I was 11 or 12, I was walking near a park near Culver City in Los Angeles. I don't know why, but I spotted some keys to a old station wagon that was parked. I had never EVER stolen a thing in my life, but had recently been taught how to drive in an old H-Shift pickup truck on back roads near Big Bear Lake.

Maybe I was starting to rebel against my father...I really don't think I'll ever know why...but I saw those keys, got in the station wagon and started driving.

I probably drove for 8-10 miles though residential streets, no speeding or anything, but doing my best to drive. I had planned on taking it back near where I got it and geting out, leaving the keys.

I was, however, being very young...not experienced at driving, and ended up running a stop sign I didn't see and hitting the back end of another station wagon. I panicked, because I knew my father would literally kill me, and started to drive off. I sideswiped about 4 cars before I couldn't drive anymore. May I remind you that I know know how STUPID this was.

Anyways, it was mid day during the summer so many of the people in the neighborhood came out to see what happened. The lady in the station wagon was ok, but I was panicking at that point because...well, I was in deep shit, and I was sure my father would kill me. I'm not exaggering this...It would have surprised me if he didn't kill me...In the past I had been thrown on my head getting concussions during some of his beatings.

I didn't have a license, obviously, and one gentleman saw I was in near tears and took me aside to ask me questions. I ended up making up a story about how I was joyriding in my dads car, and that I lived nearby...could he take me home to get my parents. I had him drive me to a neighborhood I know pretty well (but not near where I actually lived) and got out and ran to a house he thought was mine. I ended up jumping a fence, and ran home as fast as I could.

No one in my family ever found out about this until about 15 years ago when I told my mom and my brother. To this day, I'm ashamed for having done it...and it was DEFINATELY the stupidist thing I've ever done.

[Z28RockStar]

Originally Posted by Ivas

Do it, bro! Remember the rules, it must be on the embarrassing side, or it ain't worth telling.

In all honesty, this is the first time I recounted the events of that evening to anyone who wasn't there or who didn't already have indirect knowledge of some of it.

Just concerned as there may be suggestive (completely filthy) material and or drug use and or crude UN-PC explicit story line up to and including purple paisley, officers of the law, and "adult gentlemens/womens establishments" it is HIGHLY embarrassing and sadly 110% true HAHAHA! It's the story of how I taught my wife(ok maybe it was a different chick incase she finds this) to drive a manual. (please don't tell her I offered to "possibly" share, despite it's public record "somewhere" . . . she might kill me)

[mothraisnotapokemon]

I saw "santa and the ice-cream bunny"..oh and "the room".

[CarolinaChick]

Originally Posted by toesuf94

does marriage count?

If so, count me in on this one!

[Ivas]

We are waiting... Come on, the suspense is palpable. TELL US YOUR TALE, OUR VERY LIFE'S BLOOD REQUIRES IT!

[skuttduck]

How about these:

I have a scar on my ringer finger from a BBQ spatula. I was prying apart burgers and it slipped and sliced my finger.

I also have a scar on the same hand near my wedding ring on my middle finger. I was doing some work on the house with an extension ladder, it wasn't pulled up all the way and it fell and pinched me. What I did next was the stupid funny part.
I poured everclear on the wound to sanitize it. Then sealed it with superglue. It worked! I probably should have had stitches for that one.

Last but not least, when I was younger we had one bathroom, and it was occupied. I had an empty pop can in my room. I relieved myself in the can. Later on, I got a pop that was the same type as the previous can and I accidentally took a swig the previous can. Blech!!!

[Griffstar]

I was in college in the early 80s and while tailgating prior to an MSU football game we were playing frisbee football. I went out for a long pass and thought I would be cool and dive for the frisbee. I guess I forgot we were in a parking lot and came down on a concrete parking berm. Quite a few people came running over to see if I was okay. Broke three ribs and now I know before everyone else when its going to rain. Yes, alcohol was involved.

[Ivas]

Originally Posted by skuttduck

How about these:

I have a scar on my ringer finger from a BBQ spatula. I was prying apart burgers and it slipped and sliced my finger.

I also have a scar on the same hand near my wedding ring on my middle finger. I was doing some work on the house with an extension ladder, it wasn't pulled up all the way and it fell and pinched me. What I did next was the stupid funny part.
I poured everclear on the wound to sanitize it. Then sealed it with superglue. It worked! I probably should have had stitches for that one.

Last but not least, when I was younger we had one bathroom, and it was occupied. I had an empty pop can in my room. I relieved myself in the can. Later on, I got a pop that was the same type as the previous can and I accidentally took a swig the previous can. Blech!!!

OOh Maan OOh Maan, you really gotta' read the posting of the OP of this thread. Yours and it are familiar; I am the OP.

[tbss1]

READING THIS THREAD!

[Iroczlover]

I had my parents lol

[Ivas]

My wife and I lived on the fourth floor of a walk-up (no elevator) building in Oakland. She left for work, I was gonna' leave for my work too when I saw that she had forgotten her lunch on the table. I grabbed the bag and ran after her down the hall and stairs to catch her before she got on the bus.

I caught my wedding ring on the wrought iron balustrade as I was taking the steps six at a time. I was brought to an instant stop. The ring cut through the flesh and was deeply embedded in the phalange. :(

At the ER, the doctor cut off the ring and stitched me up. When she got home that evening, the wife was extra appreciative of her caring husband...

[Ironheadspearo]

how about sunday when i was returning a brand new stove and didnt tie it down in the truck because the store was only 5 miles away. wind caught it and flipped it in the truck and totalled it out. had to fully buy a second stove. the glass door shattered into a billion pieces

[Ivas]

I had access to a friend's sailboat back in the day as well as a very tiresome girlfriend who never listened to what I told her. Well, we were out on the ocean, completely alone, and I said I'd see if I could bring some sharks close to the boat by throwing out some chum (bait). She said something like, "Oh yeah, sure you will." in her usual less than enthusiastic voice as she trailed her hand absent-midedly in the water.

It worked, the chum that is, a bit too well because she soon was screamin' about the bloody stump she pulled back outa' the water.

I HATE screamin', and the more I thought about it the more I realized that explaining what had happened to her was gonna' be a whole lot more trouble than she was worth. So I just pushed her all the way off the boat and never looked back. Finally, I had peace of mind.

Good story, eh? Or is it?