Something needs to be done about bullying in schools

[Brokinarrow]

Originally Posted by brandi576

i actually had an instance this past summer where some older boys were picking on my son everytime he walked down to my parents house which is just a few blocks from me. well one time they decided to be real brave and come to my house and sit at the end of my driveway waiting for my son to come outside..well lo and behold they didnt know i was home (and mind you i had already tried speaking to thier parents and that proved to be a waste of my time) so i just told everyone to be still and i called the cops! the boys got a nice surprise when the cops came around the corner and i opened the door and walked out! Never had a problem out those boys again!!

awesome, well done!

[PoorMansCamaro]

i really do think the majority is the parenting, when it comes down to the bully's. Most bully's are that way because they have their own issues at home. Parents are starting to become scared of their own kids. That's the problem.

[Brokinarrow]

Originally Posted by PoorMansCamaro

i really do think the majority is the parenting, when it comes down to the bully's. Most bully's are that way because they have their own issues at home. Parents are starting to become scared of their own kids. That's the problem.

[PQ]

Originally Posted by franknbeans

this is a double edge sword. . . I do agree with you 100%. . . I do not know the situation or anything, but where were the parents? I believe the parents should be in every aspect of a child's life. . . I know mine where. . .yes I was pissed at the time, but looking back now, I do see why it happened.

You obviously don't have teenagers. OR, you DO, and are unemployed, OR you only THINK you know what's up.

I thought the same way you did once. But because I do my best to stay in my kids business, I realized I was wrong. You will NOT know everything. Especially a bullying situation. How you gonna know? Follow him/her to school and spy 24-7???

Part of the bad thing about bullying is that the bullied are afraid to tell. I agree with my wife on this. I was taught to hit back. In fact, I was taught to blindside a bully with a stick when he least expects it. I'm 5'4" now. I was always the smallest kid around. I made it clear I would NOT be bullied. It works. Believe it or not, it gains you freinds. People would rather you be on their side when you're small and crazy. lol

Originally Posted by SSOOCH

Parents need to take charge. Parents know if their Kids are little assholes. The problem is that the Parents are probably big assholes. It's a vicious cycle :(

Originally Posted by CamaroSkooter

send your kids to karate class.

problem solved.

Karate is like baseball, tennis, golf or any other sport. You have to be naturally skilled to excell at it. Unless you have 'it' in you, you can only do so much with it.

Originally Posted by gml1998

The only day of School my youngest son missed in 13 years was for this reason.Another kid started something ,My son stood his ground and got suspended one day for his efforts.The other kid got 3 days I think.
One of the things we had to do before they let my son back in school was to have a conference with the Principal.
During this "Conference" the Principal told my son that he shouldn't fight and he should tell a teacher what is going on.But this happened during recess on a cold day.All the recess "monitors" were huddled in the doorway ,so it was not possible to get a teachers attention.
After the Principal was done speaking her piece I turned to my son and told him that if he feels threatened by ANYONE at anytime he has every right to defend himself.The Principal couldn't believe I told my son this.
There were witnesses to the fight that stated the other boy started it and put my son in a headlock ,so it wasn't possible to "tell a teacher" at that moment.The Principals view on fighting is "it takes two to fight" so my son was suspended for one day ,which was the only day of school he missed in k-12.
As a result my son was never bothered by anyone in school again,maybe because other kids new he would stand his ground.

Originally Posted by bigearl

First of all, I'm sorry for your friend and her family.

I agree with Bonnie as part of this. Basically you're asking children to repress anger and frustration.

I don't know any specifics in the case above, but I see this as an increase in suicide period. I have had personal experience with suicide in my family and the very first instinct is to look at an outside source to blame. Then over time in our case you realize that really it was mostly an internal thing and outside sources just added fuel to the fire.

Exactly.

Originally Posted by CamaroScotty

Some kids can't stand up for themselves though.... So if the child being bullied is the weaker of the two, and a parent says "stand up to them and defend yourself", you better have your handguns locked up - because kids have crossed the line to put a stop to it.

Very true. It's a tough one for sure.








Basically, I taught my kids the same way I was taught. If someone threatens you, sneak up behind them and lay them out. I am 5'4" and Bonnie is 5'3" so you can imagine our children. My son is very popular at school as well as is my daughter. Thank God I haven't had any issues with bullying. None to a bad extent anyway. At least I can only hope. No signs anyway. My daughter has taken me up on my advice once. She was suspended for 3 days, and in my opinion, it was 3 days well spent.

When I read the OP I felt anguish. THAT was a child who was suffering AND ALONE................. Doesn't mean the parents weren't 'there' but the child obviously felt he couldn't go to anyone. Usually because they don't want it to get worse.

Gah............ terrible thing..............

[Skyblu]

Originally Posted by Bonnie

The problem is the schools won't allow the kids to fight back!! If a child is bullied they are given the same punishment if they push back! Its a bunch of bull sh**!!!!!! So If a bully pushes another kid down and that kid stands up and pushes back they both get suspended, and the teachers know who the trouble makers are!!! BUT RULES WILL BE RULES!!! ITS JUST NOT RIGHT!

Bonnie you are right about that and my husband and myself gave our 9 year old daughter permission to fight back IF at first she tells the offender to stop and reports the problem to a school administrator and neither do anything about it THEN she is allowed to kick him in the balls or poke an eye or hit any part of the body basically do whatever she has to do to make that person take his/her hands off of her if it's a physical problem and if she gets in trouble then me and the husband will deal with the school. If it's verbal well we have been teaching her since she was old enough to understand that words are just words for the most part and just walk away and igore the talker of shit. So far this has worked rather well, course she is only in the third grade, when she goes to middle school it seems that is when all hell breaks loose for some reason.

[Moriartii]

I am sorry to hear about this, I think suicide is a sad sad thing and no parent should have to bury a child.

That being said I believe a lot of this comes down to our societies acceptance of "everyone who shows up gets a trophy". We dont want to hurt our kids feelings or make them feel bad cause they suck. So we give them a trophy for being there. We are afraid to tell our kids "suck it up buttercup". Due to this, children do not know how to deal with adversity or crap that is not all feel good and warm and fuzzy.

Getting picked on and bullied is part of growing up, like it or not it is. Being the kid that isnt the best at something and is made fun of is part of growing up. Instead of telling your child or my child "yes it sucks not being good at x thing, you need to work on it and strive to be better" we adjust the bell curve so everyone is equal to the the kid is isnt the best.

Perfect example, my child is in sixth grade band and is playing an instrument. She is struggling and got 9th chair (the last one). They had a concert this past week. The band director was going to put the kids in chair order but one mother complained because it would show where her child fell in ranking order. Due to this they did something else. When my daughter told me about this I said that was lame of that mother. Mind you this kid was in a higher chair than my child. I explained to my daughter that while you may not like being last it gives you something to strive for and improve on a goal. She took it to heart.

So I think my point is we as parents have some onus in that we allow the everyone is equal mentality to prevail robbing our kids of the ability to deal with adversity when they are picked on.

Again I am sorry about the child committing suicide a very tragic thing indeed.
K

[Z28RockStar]

Originally Posted by SSOOCH

Parents need to take charge. Parents know if their Kids are little assholes. The problem is that the Parents are probably big assholes. It's a vicious cycle :(

AGREE 100%

Originally Posted by Bonnie

The problem is the schools won't allow the kids to fight back!! If a child is bullied they are given the same punishment if they push back! Its a bunch of bull sh**!!!!!! So If a bully pushes another kid down and that kid stands up and pushes back they both get suspended, and the teachers know who the trouble makers are!!! BUT RULES WILL BE RULES!!! ITS JUST NOT RIGHT!

Rules have to be broken on occasion, I tell my children "Don't start none,(trouble), won't be none." , . . . however I also tell them, "tell the teacher about it only after you've defended yourself out of sight of authority."

Maybe I am horrible, but if I hear of it 1 time I go to the school, I hear about it two times, I go to the offending childs parents home to discuss it with them directly.

Just my 2cents. . . .

[Steve Dallas]

When I was in 7th grade, our school had "big brothers" who were juniors and seniors to show you around the school.

My "big brother" did things like knock books out of my hands, and other "pranks". I've never been a violent person, but one day after he and his friends were pushing me around I snapped and roundhoused him in the jaw. He went down, his friends were stunned, and I ended up getting in trouble with the dean of the school. I wasn't suspended after I explained why. And, my "big brother" never did bother me again.

This was in 1976. Things have changed in schools, for the worst.

[SleepWarz]

Honestly, take all kids out of school. They dont get along. The chance for bullying isnt worth the chance of education.

[CamaroScotty]

Originally Posted by Brokinarrow

If you aren't educating your children on proper gun safety, you should ALWAYS keep your firearms locked away.

In Wisconsin, its a LAW -

[CamaroScotty]

Like I said in my original post, our local schools have a policy, it is mentions many times through the year, and it seems to be very effective.

[CamaroScotty]

And if our kids all were given Camaro's, there'd be so MUCH Camaro love, Bullying would be gone forever!

[Steve Dallas]

Originally Posted by CamaroScotty

And if our kids all were given Camaro's, there'd be so MUCH Camaro love, Bullying would be gone forever!

Well, I doubt it. I can see it now:

"Hahaha, you're a loser...you have the V6"

[CombatVet0311]

I don't want to sound cold or insensitive but this generation of kids are soft.

If you are coddling your children and trying to protect them from reality, you're the problem because you're not allowing your child to grow and find the courage within his/herself to resolve conflict and assimilate into their role and position in society.

the best way to prevent bullying is to raise your kid with character, stop you're childs tendancy for whining and crying at an early age, encourage them to play sports early as this will eventually lead to a competitive personality and will release more testosterone in developing boys ,anger is a great motivator so encourage an attitude that allows for them to use adverse situations as a driving force to will their way to a solution, stop feeding your kids soy based foods and Mcdonalds.

try to make your kids realise that life is much harder than unsavory myspace comments, prepare your kids for life, don't do them the disservice of making life too easy because they will not know how to combat stressful situations when life gets complicated, stop making your kids soft