Something needs to be done about bullying in schools

[CamaroScotty]

Some kids can't stand up for themselves though.... So if the child being bullied is the weaker of the two, and a parent says "stand up to them and defend yourself", you better have your handguns locked up - because kids have crossed the line to put a stop to it.

[HeatherR]

Originally Posted by CamaroScotty

Some kids can't stand up for themselves though.... So if the child being bullied is the weaker of the two, and a parent says "stand up to them and defend yourself", you better have your handguns locked up - because kids have crossed the line to put a stop to it.

True. I don't think encouraging one to "stand up" for themselves is the answer. From the school's point of view this would just make a bad situation even worse. Fighting is often hard to figure out who "started it" and everyone who was in a fight at school would all of sudden just be "standing up" for themselves.

If a student is smaller or is really afraid they will try to level the field with some sort of a weapon...and that will never end well.

Where I am from there is currently a recent case where a kid was at home and several other kids showed up at his house to fight. He went outside (mistake 1), his dad handed him a bat (mistake 2) and he proceeded to "stand up" for himself. Well...one student in a coma with brain damage, one kid in detention and one father facing charges...."Standing up" for yourself usually just makes the problem worse....schools can not allow it. ZERO TOLERANCE

[Bonnie]

Originally Posted by gml1998

The only day of School my youngest son missed in 13 years was for this reason.Another kid started something ,My son stood his ground and got suspended one day for his efforts.The other kid got 3 days I think.
One of the things we had to do before they let my son back in school was to have a conference with the Principal.
During this "Conference" the Principal told my son that he shouldn't fight and he should tell a teacher what is going on.But this happened during recess on a cold day.All the recess "monitors" were huddled in the doorway ,so it was not possible to get a teachers attention.
After the Principal was done speaking her piece I turned to my son and told him that if he feels threatened by ANYONE at anytime he has every right to defend himself.The Principal couldn't believe I told my son this.
There were witnesses to the fight that stated the other boy started it and put my son in a headlock ,so it wasn't possible to "tell a teacher" at that moment.The Principals view on fighting is "it takes two to fight" so my son was suspended for one day ,which was the only day of school he missed in k-12.
As a result my son was never bothered by anyone in school again,maybe because other kids new he would stand his ground.

That one day suspension in my opinion was worth it! Sometimes you have to make a stance and let these bullys know that your not going to be a SISSY and tell a teacher!!!! because you get made fun of even worse for tatling! I think you advised your son right!!!! Maybe if the SMALL problems kids face were resolved on there own it wouldn't turn into BIGGER PROBLEMS LIKE guns being brought to school.

[futrocpd]

Personally I feel if teachers were allowed to have more authority like they used to have a lot of this crap would not happen. I never had to deal with bullying at all probably b/c I was always the biggest kid around but that should not matter either. Bullying needs to stop and I personally feel a lot of it starts and stops at home as well, not all the time but I would be 95% of it does. Also I am fully for a kid being able to stand up and defend him/her self as well.

[Jay_LHD3]

This is an interesting discussion.

Here are some other thoughts to add to the discussion.

Do you think bullying is worse now than it was 10, 20, 30 years ago?

Or maybe it’s the fact that kids now days even think that suicide is an option?

I went to HS twenty years ago and don’t really remember any suicide instances. Yes we had bullies then/there too. But also we did not have television shows that constantly revolved around murder, death, suicide, etc… Even the local news now-a-days revolves around hate crimes and every automobile accident that ends in tragedy.

:(

[Rogue Leader]

Originally Posted by jfaber99

This is an interesting discussion.

Here are some other thoughts to add to the discussion.

Do you think bullying is worse now than it was 10, 20, 30 years ago?

Or maybe it’s the fact that kids now days even think that suicide is an option?

I went to HS twenty years ago and don’t really remember any suicide instances. Yes we had bullies then/there too. But also we did not have television shows that constantly revolved around murder, death, suicide, etc… Even the local news now-a-days revolves around hate crimes and every automobile accident that ends in tragedy.

:(

This....

Suicide has quickly become "socially acceptable", which is pretty sad in and of itself. I don't know why or how but maybe its the sheltering parents give kids, or how everyones a "winner" in Kindergarten sports. Also theres way more ways for it to happen. As little as 5 years ago kids left school and the bully was gone, at least for a night. Now everyone has facebook, myspace, etc and the trashing continues at home.

Bonnie mentioned not being able to fight back and thats true too. I got trashed on a lot all through school (I have big ears, sue me). In 7th grade I cracked the main bully one in the face despite being smaller than him and even though I got tossed, the fact I had the balls to do it gave me more street cred than anything. I got suspended from school for a day, and the assistant principal even told me while fighting is bad, I did the right thing for myself. Even my folks supported it.

[SlingShot]

I think it's time society needs to go back in time, and force the parents to grow up and start taking responsibility for their kids. If the kid screws up, punish the parent ... I was very old school with my kids, if there was a problem we would be quick to have a "Come to Jesus meeting" and NO meant NO ...

[Brokinarrow]

Originally Posted by Bonnie

The problem is the schools won't allow the kids to fight back!! If a child is bullied they are given the same punishment if they push back! Its a bunch of bull sh**!!!!!! So If a bully pushes another kid down and that kid stands up and pushes back they both get suspended, and the teachers know who the trouble makers are!!! BUT RULES WILL BE RULES!!! ITS JUST NOT RIGHT!

Originally Posted by gml1998

The only day of School my youngest son missed in 13 years was for this reason.Another kid started something ,My son stood his ground and got suspended one day for his efforts.The other kid got 3 days I think.
One of the things we had to do before they let my son back in school was to have a conference with the Principal.
During this "Conference" the Principal told my son that he shouldn't fight and he should tell a teacher what is going on.But this happened during recess on a cold day.All the recess "monitors" were huddled in the doorway ,so it was not possible to get a teachers attention.
After the Principal was done speaking her piece I turned to my son and told him that if he feels threatened by ANYONE at anytime he has every right to defend himself.The Principal couldn't believe I told my son this.
There were witnesses to the fight that stated the other boy started it and put my son in a headlock ,so it wasn't possible to "tell a teacher" at that moment.The Principals view on fighting is "it takes two to fight" so my son was suspended for one day ,which was the only day of school he missed in k-12.
As a result my son was never bothered by anyone in school again,maybe because other kids new he would stand his ground.

Exactly! During the days of 'meet me at the flag pole', kids had it out and got over it. These days they don't have a way to deal with the bullying. They can't fight or they'll be in trouble. If they go and tell the teacher, the bullying and teasing will just get WORSE.

Bravo for teaching your kid to stand up for themselves, I think more people need to be taught this, and taught not to rely on others to come save your butt.

[Hemlawk]

Originally Posted by SSOOCH

Parents need to take charge. Parents know if their Kids are little assholes. The problem is that the Parents are probably big assholes. It's a vicious cycle :(

Agreed. My newphew started to become a bully but my brother and sister in-law put the smackdown on his little asap. He's a good kid, just needed some proper guidance.

[WadeWilson]

Originally Posted by Rogue Leader

This....

Suicide has quickly become "socially acceptable", which is pretty sad in and of itself. I don't know why or how but maybe its the sheltering parents give kids, or how everyone's a "winner" in Kindergarten sports. Also there's way more ways for it to happen. As little as 5 years ago kids left school and the bully was gone, at least for a night. Now everyone has facebook, myspace, etc and the trashing continues at home.

I'm in agreement with this as well. People are way too quick to just give up and pull the plug these days. I didn't have a cake walk through school and definitely put up with my share of bullies and suicide NEVER entered my mind. I ignored those I could and if they kept pushing then I eventually pushed back. I was taught to never start a fight but to ALWAYS stand up for myself. I was suspended from school on two different occasions but it was well worth it because I wasn't bothered by those two guys again.

There are way too many avenues and types of harassment in this day and age, but with that said, that's no excuse to kill yourself. As Rouge Leader stated above, you used to be able to escape the bullying once the school day was over but now it has become an endless barrage of online insults, threats, etc.

[Brokinarrow]

Originally Posted by HeatherR

True. I don't think encouraging one to "stand up" for themselves is the answer. From the school's point of view this would just make a bad situation even worse. Fighting is often hard to figure out who "started it" and everyone who was in a fight at school would all of sudden just be "standing up" for themselves.

If a student is smaller or is really afraid they will try to level the field with some sort of a weapon...and that will never end well.

Where I am from there is currently a recent case where a kid was at home and several other kids showed up at his house to fight. He went outside (mistake 1), his dad handed him a bat (mistake 2) and he proceeded to "stand up" for himself. Well...one student in a coma with brain damage, one kid in detention and one father facing charges...."Standing up" for yourself usually just makes the problem worse....schools can not allow it. ZERO TOLERANCE

So we encourage our kids to just roll over and take it?? That, in my opinion, is a very large chunk of what I don't like in this country these days.

Anyway, your example wasn't a very good one. Any decent parent would have known better. Proper response would have been to call the police.

Originally Posted by Shardik2SS

As Rouge Leader stated above, you used to be able to escape the bullying once the school day was over but now it has become an endless barrage of online insults, threats, etc.

Which is why I won't be allowing my kids to be online until I think they will be able to handle it. (once i get around to having them that is )

[Brokinarrow]

Originally Posted by CamaroScotty

Some kids can't stand up for themselves though.... So if the child being bullied is the weaker of the two, and a parent says "stand up to them and defend yourself", you better have your handguns locked up - because kids have crossed the line to put a stop to it.

If you aren't educating your children on proper gun safety, you should ALWAYS keep your firearms locked away.

[WadeWilson]

Originally Posted by MakGrl

I was bullied in middle school, my mom went to the school and spoke with the principal. Nothing happen for a couple of weeks, but then they started again. It was a group of about five or six girls. When one of them saw me they used to come right behind me and pull my hair. One time they putme into a corner and started kicking me. My teacher saw this and took the girls in the office and expelled them for a couple of days. They came back and they stopped. A couple of months later when I got to 8th grade one of them was behind me and pulled my hair. In that moment I don't know what went through me, I only remember seeing tables upside down and that girl on the floor bleeding from the nose. The teacher knew from the past events why I did it and the principal didn't do anything to me, but from that moment until I left that school they never did anything to me again. I know violence is not the answer, but it definitely made them respect me! I don't regret it and I hope this stops soon. It needs to stop now!

Glad that you stood up for yourself. Bullies will keep on until they know you aren't an easy target.

[WadeWilson]

Originally Posted by Brokinarrow

If you aren't educating your children on proper gun safety, you should ALWAYS keep your firearms locked away.