Pray for my Daughter Stephanie. - Page 88

BBQTriAngle · 08-23-2009, 09:51 AM

Don't be too hard on her, otherwise she will hide everything.. teenagers all do the same things. You want her to listen to you and respect what you say regarding drinking smoking, and everything else but you also want her to feel comfortable talking you to about it.

ddunerider · 08-23-2009, 09:53 AM

Dude I feel for you I have 2 step daughters now 23 and 22 when they were 16 and 17 holy crap!!!! but stick to your guns sounds like she need you more than ever show tuff love they will respect more later mine do.And at that age we ground them took the cell phones away and the car.And if they had the tracking i would have done that too.Keep a close eye on her.Because i know you care.

P.S. I started Helping raise them at 6 and 7

CamaroScotty · 08-23-2009, 09:55 AM

So you were lied to. I would have a problem with that. Call me paranoid, but I want to know where my kids are every second of every day, and until they turn 18, I BETTER be able to contact them on a cell phone at ANY time - that's why I am paying the bill for it. If he does not answer when I call, the next time he wants something, he doesn't get it. I think there's woo much opportunity to get into trouble, and there are too many "unstable" people out there. There's also other teens that don't seem to make the right choices, and drag someone that does, down with them in their bad decisions.

Best of luck with what ever you decide.

Xanthos · 08-23-2009, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CamaroScotty

So you were lied to. I would have a problem with that. Call me paranoid, but I want to know where my kids are every second of every day, and until they turn 18, I BETTER be able to contact them on a cell phone at ANY time - that's why I am paying the bill for it. If he does not answer when I call, the next time he wants something, he doesn't get it. I think there's woo much opportunity to get into trouble, and there are too many "unstable" people out there. There's also other teens that don't seem to make the right choices, and drag someone that does, down with them in their bad decisions.

Best of luck with what ever you decide.

Well, thats not 100% fair. There are times when you simply can't answer the phone.

And you especially don't want him scrambling to pick up the phone if he's in the middle of heavy traffic and its in the passenger floorboard or something.
- X

Zabo · 08-23-2009, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scott@Bjorn3D

No she was drunk. We know it and she admitted to her mom when she tried to talk her way out of being grounded with a one and one with Kathie. I just hope Kathie finally see's that our daughter is out of control and needs to be brought back into line badly.

..Dude, Scott. Tell your buds at the PD to keep an eye on her. They catch her drinking, or smoking.. BAM. Tell her that she's going to have to pay her own bail and sit in a cell for a night or two to learn her lesson. Then do what Xanthos said, talk it out. Give her that ultimatum and if he decided to keep it up..

Well..

At least she's going to have a roof and a bed.. and a safe haven from you.

FenwickHockey65 · 08-23-2009, 10:20 AM

Scott.

This is coming from a 17 year old...

Don't go easy on her. Do everything everyone above said, especially Zabo's advice. If they catch her drinking, she spends a night in jail, to hell with it.

Sometimes kids need to get the crap kicked out of their system before they'll figure out what's best for them.

Zieke · 08-23-2009, 10:30 AM

everyone has already given you great advice.
but theres something that hasnt been said yet, and im not going to go there.

Its what could happen to her if she keeps going the way she is.

At the age of 15 i watched my friend Zach drive strait into a tree at 30-40 miles an hour.
He had been drinking, and so were the rest of us.
Pulling a bleeding, screaming friend from a car is one hell of a wake up call.

There are worse things that can happen to her.
Dont let it get that far.

PAUL SS · 08-23-2009, 10:35 AM

First, you must enforce the curfew to the minute, no excuses for being even one minute late! My kids learned to be home 5 minutes before curfew just so it wouldn't close. If her friends have an emergency, she comes home immediatley and then you go with her to check out the emergency. Any deviation from the rules by the children without punishment gives them the upper hand. They will push and test you, you must can not give one inch.

CamaroScotty · 08-23-2009, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XanthosV6

Well, thats not 100% fair. There are times when you simply can't answer the phone.

And you especially don't want him scrambling to pick up the phone if he's in the middle of heavy traffic and its in the passenger floorboard or something.
- X

He just turned 15.....so he can pull the bike over and answer

Crowley · 08-23-2009, 11:34 AM

You have to stick to your guns here. Talk with her about smoking and drinking and that it will not be tolerated. Lay down the rules and stick to them!

Gary

Tanner · 08-23-2009, 11:36 AM

Be firm but fair. Educate her all you can on smoking and drinking and the problems related to both. Girls are boy crazy and will do anything to get their attention. You may also want to talk to your wife about contraceptives for her as this is something that will come up or already has. Try to be open with that one as my wife hid that fact that one of my daughters is on them. I borrowed her car and left my cell phone in it. When I went looking for it, I found the pills under her seat. My wife said if they told me I would freak out. Now they're both pissed at me becuase I said she she should not be spreading herself around. She has had 3 boyfriends in the last year. This daughter is 22. My daughters are 17 and 22. The 22 year old just moved back home and is finishing nursing school.

Please tell her that the friends she chooses will dictate what path she takes in life. The party friends that don't let parents know where they are and what they are doing end up flipping burgers the rest of their life. Let her know that you may have stayed out late at times and tested that life and decided to stay away from it as only bad things come from that lifestyle. I go back to class reunions now and see that the party and drug crew never really made anything of themselves. They look like crap and my wife says they look 10 years older than me. The hard life wears on your career, body, friends, relationship with spouse and kids. Tell her that kids will have fun and you just worry about her getting hurt, many kids get hurt by staying out late and drinking. They are going to do things like this, just make sure she understands the consequenses. For every action, there is an equal or greater reaction, either good or bad. The further she gets away from the straight and narrow path, the harder it will be for her to get back there.

Justin · 08-23-2009, 11:59 AM

Well, assuming it's the first time she's been drunk, she's not going to like the hangover very much.

I'd say try the calm approach one last time and explain that you need to know where she is, what she's doing, etc. and that drinking at her age isn't acceptable, nor is smoking. I know my parents always made sure that I knew that they might be pissed if I went out drinking, but they'd be a lot more pissed if I went out drinking and drove myself home or got into a car with a drunk person. Make sure she knows you're doing it out of concern and not because you don't want her to have fun or whatever.

And, like others have said, if you have any friends in the police department you might want to give them a call next time something like this happens. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't even have to go to the police station, just being handcuffed and put in the back of a police car and driven home would get your message across loud and clear.

CamaroScotty · 08-23-2009, 12:09 PM

As an FYI, My nephew went away to college at Stout, WI......The first frat party, they handed him a beer - so he drank it. Problem was, there was more than beer in it.....He passed out and they loaded him in a car a drove him 40 miles away. He woke up and they told him to get out of the car - then they asked him how much money he had. Being in a daze, he said $120. They said for $120 they'd give him a ride back to the dorm. He gave them the money, and they took off - leaving him standing by the roadside. He didn't have a clue where he was. He called my brother a few times saying he didn't know where he was, and he felt like passing out. He wound up getting a ride from a retired good samaritan back to his dorm - but for about 9 hours, no one knew where he was.

And you wonder why so many college students are ending up in rivers in Wisconsin and Minnesota. This could have turned out real bad in many way. Glad he came home ok.

Iroczlover · 08-23-2009, 12:13 PM

oh boy Am I in for this with my son?

Scott, first question is her real father around (in the picture) if so what kind of man is he? if hes in to the drugs or smoking or what have you you need to have a heart to heart talk with him.

If Hes not in the picture, then put your arms around that girl & tell her some memories you have of her watching her growing up. she may be having a hard time with dealing with steph. after punishment (if you ground her or what ever you decided to do) Take her away for the night, take her out to the movies, dinner what ever spend time with just you guys. Maybe just you & her & then kate to do the samething, later in the week or the next week if shes good.

dont treat her like a little girl though, go a head & ground her or what ever you need to do but talk to her as an adult & treat her like one.

08-23-2009, 09:53 AM	#1220
ddunerider So-Cal Race team!! Drives: Tahoe LTZ,2010 2SS/M6 Camaro Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Phillips Ranch ca. So-Cal Posts: 5,973 View My Garage	Dude I feel for you I have 2 step daughters now 23 and 22 when they were 16 and 17 holy crap!!!! but stick to your guns sounds like she need you more than ever show tuff love they will respect more later mine do.And at that age we ground them took the cell phones away and the car.And if they had the tracking i would have done that too.Keep a close eye on her.Because i know you care. P.S. I started Helping raise them at 6 and 7 __________________ WE RACE DEEP!! BBK Intake, Flowmaster AT cat back Barton shifter,Painted stripes,,Heritage grill,LED DRLs, Smokin Tires!!

08-23-2009, 10:20 AM	#1224
FenwickHockey65 General Motors Aficionado Drives: 2023 GMC Canyon, 2023 Expedition Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Florida Posts: 37,375 View My Garage	Scott. This is coming from a 17 year old... Don't go easy on her. Do everything everyone above said, especially Zabo's advice. If they catch her drinking, she spends a night in jail, to hell with it. Sometimes kids need to get the crap kicked out of their system before they'll figure out what's best for them. __________________ 2023 GMC Canyon Elevation 2023 Ford Expedition SSV (State-Issued)

08-23-2009, 10:30 AM	#1225
Zieke Camaro Deprived Drives: 78 Camaro, 00 Tahoe, 10 Cobalt Join Date: May 2008 Location: Kaneohe, HI Posts: 580 View My Garage	everyone has already given you great advice. but theres something that hasnt been said yet, and im not going to go there. Its what could happen to her if she keeps going the way she is. At the age of 15 i watched my friend Zach drive strait into a tree at 30-40 miles an hour. He had been drinking, and so were the rest of us. Pulling a bleeding, screaming friend from a car is one hell of a wake up call. There are worse things that can happen to her. Dont let it get that far. __________________ My posts are of my opinion most of the time. I am young and inexperienced. Please don't hate on me for it. Joined Active Navy: 10-28-08

08-23-2009, 10:35 AM	#1226
PAUL SS The Mark of Excellence Drives: 2010 ABM 1SS RS LS3 Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Smallest State in the Union Posts: 8,688 View My Garage	First, you must enforce the curfew to the minute, no excuses for being even one minute late! My kids learned to be home 5 minutes before curfew just so it wouldn't close. If her friends have an emergency, she comes home immediatley and then you go with her to check out the emergency. Any deviation from the rules by the children without punishment gives them the upper hand. They will push and test you, you must can not give one inch. __________________ BMR, CAI, DynoMax, Elite Eng., Hurst, Jannetty, Clear Image Headers & Hi Flow cats, Jet Hot, LSR, TSW, VMax, Vredestein

08-23-2009, 11:34 AM	#1228
Crowley Okie doke Drives: 2012 GT500 Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: McKinney Texas Posts: 3,567 View My Garage	You have to stick to your guns here. Talk with her about smoking and drinking and that it will not be tolerated. Lay down the rules and stick to them! Gary __________________

08-23-2009, 09:51 AM	#1219
BBQTriAngle Drives: 2010 IBM SS/RS Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: NJ Posts: 87	Don't be too hard on her, otherwise she will hide everything.. teenagers all do the same things. You want her to listen to you and respect what you say regarding drinking smoking, and everything else but you also want her to feel comfortable talking you to about it.

08-23-2009, 09:55 AM	#1221
CamaroScotty Account Suspended Drives: Your new SLP Camaro! Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Cedarburg, WI Posts: 6,790	So you were lied to. I would have a problem with that. Call me paranoid, but I want to know where my kids are every second of every day, and until they turn 18, I BETTER be able to contact them on a cell phone at ANY time - that's why I am paying the bill for it. If he does not answer when I call, the next time he wants something, he doesn't get it. I think there's woo much opportunity to get into trouble, and there are too many "unstable" people out there. There's also other teens that don't seem to make the right choices, and drag someone that does, down with them in their bad decisions. Best of luck with what ever you decide.

08-23-2009, 11:36 AM	#1229
Tanner Drives: 2010 Camaro 2SS/RS Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Arizona Posts: 370 View My Garage	Be firm but fair. Educate her all you can on smoking and drinking and the problems related to both. Girls are boy crazy and will do anything to get their attention. You may also want to talk to your wife about contraceptives for her as this is something that will come up or already has. Try to be open with that one as my wife hid that fact that one of my daughters is on them. I borrowed her car and left my cell phone in it. When I went looking for it, I found the pills under her seat. My wife said if they told me I would freak out. Now they're both pissed at me becuase I said she she should not be spreading herself around. She has had 3 boyfriends in the last year. This daughter is 22. My daughters are 17 and 22. The 22 year old just moved back home and is finishing nursing school. Please tell her that the friends she chooses will dictate what path she takes in life. The party friends that don't let parents know where they are and what they are doing end up flipping burgers the rest of their life. Let her know that you may have stayed out late at times and tested that life and decided to stay away from it as only bad things come from that lifestyle. I go back to class reunions now and see that the party and drug crew never really made anything of themselves. They look like crap and my wife says they look 10 years older than me. The hard life wears on your career, body, friends, relationship with spouse and kids. Tell her that kids will have fun and you just worry about her getting hurt, many kids get hurt by staying out late and drinking. They are going to do things like this, just make sure she understands the consequenses. For every action, there is an equal or greater reaction, either good or bad. The further she gets away from the straight and narrow path, the harder it will be for her to get back there. __________________ 2SS/RS Victory Red / painted White Rally Stripes - 6 Speed Automatic with Tap Shifter Sands - Surprise

08-23-2009, 11:59 AM	#1230
Justin Camaro5's Cell Phone Geek Drives: '02 V6 Camaro. 5 speed manual. Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 406	Well, assuming it's the first time she's been drunk, she's not going to like the hangover very much. I'd say try the calm approach one last time and explain that you need to know where she is, what she's doing, etc. and that drinking at her age isn't acceptable, nor is smoking. I know my parents always made sure that I knew that they might be pissed if I went out drinking, but they'd be a lot more pissed if I went out drinking and drove myself home or got into a car with a drunk person. Make sure she knows you're doing it out of concern and not because you don't want her to have fun or whatever. And, like others have said, if you have any friends in the police department you might want to give them a call next time something like this happens. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't even have to go to the police station, just being handcuffed and put in the back of a police car and driven home would get your message across loud and clear. __________________ 2SS RJT with black rally stripes, RS package, sunroof, painted engine block cover. It's either that or a damned similar 'vert in a few years.

08-23-2009, 12:09 PM	#1231
CamaroScotty Account Suspended Drives: Your new SLP Camaro! Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Cedarburg, WI Posts: 6,790	As an FYI, My nephew went away to college at Stout, WI......The first frat party, they handed him a beer - so he drank it. Problem was, there was more than beer in it.....He passed out and they loaded him in a car a drove him 40 miles away. He woke up and they told him to get out of the car - then they asked him how much money he had. Being in a daze, he said $120. They said for $120 they'd give him a ride back to the dorm. He gave them the money, and they took off - leaving him standing by the roadside. He didn't have a clue where he was. He called my brother a few times saying he didn't know where he was, and he felt like passing out. He wound up getting a ride from a retired good samaritan back to his dorm - but for about 9 hours, no one knew where he was. And you wonder why so many college students are ending up in rivers in Wisconsin and Minnesota. This could have turned out real bad in many way. Glad he came home ok.

08-23-2009, 12:13 PM	#1232
Iroczlover The Krazzy bytch Drives: Which car I have 9 vehicles? Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Yelm, wa, Hell if I think about it to much Posts: 7,918	oh boy Am I in for this with my son? Scott, first question is her real father around (in the picture) if so what kind of man is he? if hes in to the drugs or smoking or what have you you need to have a heart to heart talk with him. If Hes not in the picture, then put your arms around that girl & tell her some memories you have of her watching her growing up. she may be having a hard time with dealing with steph. after punishment (if you ground her or what ever you decided to do) Take her away for the night, take her out to the movies, dinner what ever spend time with just you guys. Maybe just you & her & then kate to do the samething, later in the week or the next week if shes good. dont treat her like a little girl though, go a head & ground her or what ever you need to do but talk to her as an adult & treat her like one. __________________ Heart breaks everyday when you cant take care of your family because you are unemployed, cant give your family what you want or what they need I am not a man I have boobies. Cars are like women, If you treat her rough shes going to complain & you will hear about it. If you treat her right she will purrrrrrrrrrrrr Current cars owned , 72 Skylark vert,86 fiero GT Sold , 87 Iroc-z (sold), 90 Vette Vert SOLD , 95 Z28, 99 Silverado K1500 Totaled, 2010 CGM Camaro 2ss/rs (had to sell & I hate it ) ,2012 Cruze LT repoed. Current current list lol 2006 Silverado 2500hd.