Soon to be Wife will make a lot more money than me

[Mutant Racer]

OP just be yourself and worry about graduating for right now. You'll be fine.

By the way you don't have to feel weird until that soon to be wife starts dressing you.

[LTRS777]

Married to an rn who is now a crnp... Great place to be in life sub 30s.

Have inferiority issues? Do something with your life that money can't buy or it doesnt matter what you're paid. Officer in the ARMY and work for an agency of the DoD. Wife makes more money, but i couldnt care less . We both went through struggles for what we've earned.

[hotlap]

Originally Posted by RubyCamaro

So what? Marriage is what's yours is mine & visa versa. Just go with it.

This^. My wife and I have one pool of money and we decide together what our next goal will be. Sometimes it a car restoration, then a kitchen remodel, new house, new car or vacation.

I've always out earned her more than two to one but never see it as my money or her money and have never understood married couples with separate bank accounts.

[trm2]

Originally Posted by RubyCamaro

BTW. I make more $ than my husband. By choice - his. He was in a very dangerous & high stress job, making a lot more $ than me. &Then he had an opportunity to come to work for the same company I work for but in a much lower paid position & he decided to go for it. He has been there about 25 years now and very happy. I was even his boss for a few years. You will be fine.

Uh, Ruby, you're still his Boss!

Originally Posted by Dmpsix

It isn't so much the fact it was a car forum that I was looking for advice on relationships/finance but more so that the majority of people here are older and much much wiser than me.

So seeking out some advice from people who have been there, done that is reasonable for all the right reasons.

Thank you to everyone here. You guys are awesome.

My wife used to make more than me. That didn't bother me as much as how freaking little I made! So I got my BA and then MBA and now make more than she does. So what.

Remember, marriage takes work. Everything won't be perfect. But that is where the fun starts. You have a long time to figure things out - be willing to do it.

[CrystalRedTintcoat]

Have a relationship with your money. Together. Plan what you're going to make and spend. Audit it regularly. For some this is a weekly or monthly thing. For others this is quarterly or annually. Just don't assume what the other person thinks. Kids? Plan for that too; obviously.

[el ess A]

Someone brought up the separate vs common bank accounts.

My wife and I make comparable incomes. We decided many moons ago that she has HER bank account, I have mine, and then we have a third- a "household common" account that we both contribute to so as to pay the mortgage, car insurance, power bills, etc.

The only account that gets "audited" is the household common account to ensure that we have enough in the account to handle all the household needs. I have no idea how much she has in her account and unless she asks, she doesn't have a clue on how much I have in my personal account. I buy all my "toys" from that account. NO ISSUES OVER MONEY. NONE.

Many so-called relationship experts say that doing it the way we do is destructive to a relationship. Bullcrap. I say, whatever works for the BOTH of you is how you proceed, even if it's not a traditional financial arrangement.

And Ruby, my #2 comment about never seeking relationship advice on a car forum was only tongue-in-cheek. Advice here is free, find it however you can get it.

[CrystalRedTintcoat]

El less A: glad that works for you. My parents do that and it's a mess. But they don't have a common account for bills. Personally I wouldn't want that but to each his own, right? If it ain't broke don't fix it. ;-)


-CRT

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Q'smuscle]

Originally Posted by CrystalRedTintcoat

El less A: glad that works for you. My parents do that and it's a mess. But they don't have a common account for bills. Personally I wouldn't want that but to each his own, right? If it ain't broke don't fix it. ;-)


-CRT

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Would you have a joint account?

[Q'smuscle]

Originally Posted by el ess A

Someone brought up the separate vs common bank accounts.

My wife and I make comparable incomes. We decided many moons ago that she has HER bank account, I have mine, and then we have a third- a "household common" account that we both contribute to so as to pay the mortgage, car insurance, power bills, etc.

The only account that gets "audited" is the household common account to ensure that we have enough in the account to handle all the household needs. I have no idea how much she has in her account and unless she asks, she doesn't have a clue on how much I have in my personal account. I buy all my "toys" from that account. NO ISSUES OVER MONEY. NONE.

Many so-called relationship experts say that doing it the way we do is destructive to a relationship. Bullcrap. I say, whatever works for the BOTH of you is how you proceed, even if it's not a traditional financial arrangement.

And Ruby, my #2 comment about never seeking relationship advice on a car forum was only tongue-in-cheek. Advice here is free, find it however you can get it.

I like this idea but most of the time now a days there's always one person that is a saver or responsible and the othe not.

[SSINISTER]

PUT A RING ON IT

[CrystalRedTintcoat]

Originally Posted by Q'smuscle

Would you have a joint account?

Yes. With an agreement on spending. We don't spend over $100 without first talking to the other person. I put together a track and car budget for the year and we check that relative to other spending. It took a while but now it's clear, for instance, that my computer spending is a small part of the outflow. Sitters, lawn care, house care and food is where we sync most of our income.

I used to do the lawn until I was "fired" for taking too long. See, being with the kids is more important to my wife than saving the cost of having a third party do the lawn care maintenance. Sure they would see me working and learn that's important but spending free time with them is even higher valued.

Net net ... Most couples fight over money and time.

Check out the book the Languages of Love or some s'it. Basically there are five ways people feel loved and two are predominate:

Time
Service
Touch
Words of affirmation
Gifts

My wife wants time and service. Cook dinner and be around equals points. Words and touch make me feel good but she could careless. Mother wants gifts and words to feel loved. My wife hates when I spend money on her or money in general. Hence the importance of the budget in OUR relationship. EVERYONE is DIFFERENT.

Anyway my overarching point is to talk about money with one another. I watch my parents keep it separate and it creates strife. But they don't talk about financial matters openly. Plus my mom mixes business money and personal money which is a whole other (mistake) issue for another forum ....

Peace, love and hair grease!


-CRT

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[TommyTheCat]

Originally Posted by CrystalRedTintcoat

Yes. With an agreement on spending. We don't spend over $100 without first talking to the other person.

That's when you buy something that costs $1000 with 11 payments of just under $100
Marriage is about finding loopholes...







































I kid, don't do that, I take no responsibility for any separations, divorces, or lives ruined due to negligence to take common sense into mind when reading my irresponsible posts.

[CrystalRedTintcoat]

Ha. That's how I used to buy computers for work in the early 90s. I have nothing to hide from my wife. We look at every dollar together.


-CRT

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Q'smuscle]

Originally Posted by CrystalRedTintcoat

Yes. With an agreement on spending. We don't spend over $100 without first talking to the other person. I put together a track and car budget for the year and we check that relative to other spending. It took a while but now it's clear, for instance, that my computer spending is a small part of the outflow. Sitters, lawn care, house care and food is where we sync most of our income.

I used to do the lawn until I was "fired" for taking too long. See, being with the kids is more important to my wife than saving the cost of having a third party do the lawn care maintenance. Sure they would see me working and learn that's important but spending free time with them is even higher valued.

Net net ... Most couples fight over money and time.

Check out the book the Languages of Love or some s'it. Basically there are five ways people feel loved and two are predominate:

Time
Service
Touch
Words of affirmation
Gifts

My wife wants time and service. Cook dinner and be around equals points. Words and touch make me feel good but she could careless. Mother wants gifts and words to feel loved. My wife hates when I spend money on her or money in general. Hence the importance of the budget in OUR relationship. EVERYONE is DIFFERENT.

Anyway my overarching point is to talk about money with one another. I watch my parents keep it separate and it creates strife. But they don't talk about financial matters openly. Plus my mom mixes business money and personal money which is a whole other (mistake) issue for another forum ....

Peace, love and hair grease!


-CRT

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Oh , ok! Well my wife always talk about mad money so tho is why I ask. And did you read this book ? How did you discover this book? I'm asking because my wife tried to read this book to me. So I'm just wondering?