Loveline Thread

BowtieBelle · 10-07-2011, 03:22 PM

Since we seem to have a few of these questions pop up I figured I'd start a loveline thread just for skits and giggles. Maybe no one will use it, but I will start it off with a pretty serious question.

I was going to ask this question in a new thread earlier but refrained. Have any of you ever just been head over heels for someone that's pretty much your best friend? Or at least, that's how this person views you (in my case with mine, benefits and cuddling have been involved). I'm having this issue and I don't know how to resolve it because he has a lot of female friends and he has talked to me about how sick he is of these girls befriending him then trying to hook up with him or saying they're in love/want to date him/whatever. I don't want to be that girl, so I smile and nod and take what I can get and listen to his problems and all that-- but some days it just KILLS me. Anyone been there? Is there any kind of positive outcome for this? I generally don't believe in fairy tales.

Havok · 10-07-2011, 03:58 PM

It's called the friend zone, or in this case the friends with benefits zone. There is no escaping the friend zone unless you weren't in the friend zone to begin with.

Needs Exhaust! · 10-07-2011, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Havok

It's called the friend zone, or in this case the friends with benefits zone. There is no escaping the friend zone unless you weren't in the friend zone to begin with.

But if you were in the benefits zone which happened to coincide with the friend zone, then can you escape the zone? If not, then the zone of friending may be zoning in on the benefit zone, in which both zones will not be happy and we get one big zone.

Havok · 10-07-2011, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Needs Exhaust!

But if you were in the benefits zone which happened to coincide with the friend zone, then can you escape the zone? If not, then the zone of friending may be zoning in on the benefit zone, in which both zones will not be happy and we get one big zone.

Friends with benefits zone is a "grey" area since the benefits are in the picture. The guy or girl could only see it as a just someone to have sex with, with the added bonus of someone to bitch when the other ladies or guys they are perusing are not responsive to their liking. Or they could think their partner is that, and they are hoping this sex will lead to a relationship.

TOMS1SS · 10-07-2011, 04:28 PM

I'm seeing a lot terms like "friend zone," "benefits" and "grey area" thrown out. Just my two cents but if you're single shouldn't you be just enjoying the ride?

I've had feeling for girls who didn't share the same for me and vice versa its all part of the game. Far be it from me to speculate on what it takes to maintain something like a marriage but something I've learned over the years is to not worry about something that isn't even a commitment.

Stingr69 · 10-07-2011, 05:37 PM

My first thought was - Move on girl. It sounds like a train wreck just waiting to happen.

My second thought - You might as well just come out a tell the guy. That way you can get his side of it. Either way, you get progress. Simple really.

Hope this helps,

-Mark.

Brokinarrow · 10-07-2011, 05:39 PM

I'll say this.... most of us guys DO NOT GET subtle little hints and messages that you ladies think are obvious signs. If you want us, TELL US in plain English

TOMS1SS · 10-07-2011, 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brokinarrow

I'll say this.... most of us guys DO NOT GET subtle little hints and messages that you ladies think are obvious signs. If you want us, TELL US in plain English

I understand the subtle hints/obvious signs/messages but when I spell it out for the hypothetical her, she claims its not true.

Harley1 · 10-07-2011, 08:13 PM

No disrespect but you have alot of issues....

The Stig · 10-07-2011, 08:18 PM

marry your best friend. Simple as that, and that's what I'm doing. It's been working for 2 years now.

coolman · 10-07-2011, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brokinarrow

I'll say this.... most of us guys DO NOT GET subtle little hints and messages that you ladies think are obvious signs. If you want us, TELL US in plain English

This.

My wife and I were best friends since the third grade. Well all through Jr. high and high school I had a steady that I almost ended up marrying. It wasn't until we both were ready to graduate college that we (I mean my wife)ran into each other in a local bar that people go to on the eve of thanksgiving. This is where she finally told me that she had wished that we would have been more than friends all of those years. Well guess what, we've been married for over twenty years now. Although I will say that I wouldn't have changed any of the experiences that I had with the other chick. She was a good girl ,but just not the girl for me.

TOMS1SS · 10-07-2011, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stieger

marry your best friend. Simple as that, and that's what I'm doing. It's been working for 2 years now.

That doesn't work always either. I used to date this one girl briefly about 3 years ago for say 3-5 months. Didn't work out so well but I ended becoming friends with her, probably one of the closer friends I have today. She wants totally different things in life (sitting around the house and no job while the husband works, her words...) despite the fact that we both have several common interests, so that's a no on marriage. Like I said before why not just enjoy the ride? People get into relationships with a formula in mind or start speculating if the person is marriage material right out of the box. I can understand putting together a 5/10 year plan for career and school, but a relationship? People have far more options these days than they used to, its hard....rather impossible to project something like a successful relationship much less marriage.

Sarah · 10-07-2011, 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brokinarrow

I'll say this.... most of us guys DO NOT GET subtle little hints and messages that you ladies think are obvious signs. If you want us, TELL US in plain English

Thats actually not far from the truth. It is better to say something than keep it in and suffer. Its not as if he will never talk to you again if you say something. If he is a really GOOD friend and he doesn't have the same feelings, just dust it off and continue in another direction. Have had it happened to me both ways, (Me like a guy friend or a guy friend liking me) if they are a trust worthy friend it doesn't get weird at all and we just continue as friends sometimes an even closer bond because we are able to talk about everything.

2ndgenz28 · 10-07-2011, 08:33 PM

.........

10-07-2011, 03:22 PM	#1
BowtieBelle They see me trollin'... Drives: 217 ci of fury; Chauffeured by SS Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 13,875 View My Garage	Loveline Thread Since we seem to have a few of these questions pop up I figured I'd start a loveline thread just for skits and giggles. Maybe no one will use it, but I will start it off with a pretty serious question. I was going to ask this question in a new thread earlier but refrained. Have any of you ever just been head over heels for someone that's pretty much your best friend? Or at least, that's how this person views you (in my case with mine, benefits and cuddling have been involved). I'm having this issue and I don't know how to resolve it because he has a lot of female friends and he has talked to me about how sick he is of these girls befriending him then trying to hook up with him or saying they're in love/want to date him/whatever. I don't want to be that girl, so I smile and nod and take what I can get and listen to his problems and all that-- but some days it just KILLS me. Anyone been there? Is there any kind of positive outcome for this? I generally don't believe in fairy tales. __________________ "Never race anything you can't afford to light on fire and push off a cliff." -CamaroSpike 2011 Custom LT/RS: Bella's Build Thread

10-07-2011, 04:28 PM	#5
TOMS1SS Drives: NA Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: NA Posts: 12,126 View My Garage	I'm seeing a lot terms like "friend zone," "benefits" and "grey area" thrown out. Just my two cents but if you're single shouldn't you be just enjoying the ride? I've had feeling for girls who didn't share the same for me and vice versa its all part of the game. Far be it from me to speculate on what it takes to maintain something like a marriage but something I've learned over the years is to not worry about something that isn't even a commitment. __________________ El funcionario señor de los desiertos de Mojave y Sonora.

10-07-2011, 05:39 PM	#7
Brokinarrow Drives: 2012 Honda NC700x Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Indianola, IA Posts: 5,317 View My Garage	I'll say this.... most of us guys DO NOT GET subtle little hints and messages that you ladies think are obvious signs. If you want us, TELL US in plain English __________________

10-07-2011, 08:18 PM	#10
The Stig knows 2 facts about ducks Drives: ...and they're both wrong Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The HMS Invincible Posts: 25,072 View My Garage	marry your best friend. Simple as that, and that's what I'm doing. It's been working for 2 years now. __________________

10-07-2011, 08:33 PM	#14
2ndgenz28 Thread Killer Drives: All Black Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: NWO Toledo Area Posts: 4,720	......... Last edited by 2ndgenz28; 10-09-2011 at 02:28 AM.

10-07-2011, 03:58 PM	#2
Havok Drives: 2010 IBM 2LT RS Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: RI Posts: 1,484	It's called the friend zone, or in this case the friends with benefits zone. There is no escaping the friend zone unless you weren't in the friend zone to begin with.

10-07-2011, 05:37 PM	#6
Stingr69 '69 Owned Since '79 Drives: '69 Z/28 LeMans Blue w/White Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: LR AR Posts: 1,848 View My Garage	My first thought was - Move on girl. It sounds like a train wreck just waiting to happen. My second thought - You might as well just come out a tell the guy. That way you can get his side of it. Either way, you get progress. Simple really. Hope this helps, -Mark.

10-07-2011, 08:13 PM	#9
Harley1 Drives: Ahh....DCB F29 Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: SoCal & LHC.... Posts: 519	No disrespect but you have alot of issues....

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
2LT exhaust options	Guardian1816	Camaro V6 LLT Engine, Exhaust, and Bolt-Ons	3	01-12-2010 10:28 PM
Suggestion: Explanation to thread starters for their threads being locked?	colin911	Site Related Announcements / Suggestions / Feedback / Questions	2	12-06-2009 11:25 PM
Dealer Praise Thread (Not an Idiot!)	RPO_Z28	Camaro Price \| Ordering \| Tracking \| Dealers Discussions	84	06-25-2009 02:00 AM
prices thread	nimnels	5th Gen Camaro SS LS LT General Discussions	1	05-02-2009 07:47 PM