What's your best joke? - Page 2

Moriartii · 03-15-2011, 12:43 PM

You know I cant believe we started another one of these threads, usually I dont mind stuff like this but after the morning I have had this bothers me. I am coming back from my physical this morning in my wife's Jeep and, while sitting at a stop light.....BAM I get rear ended.

I am pretty irritated and I get out to inspect the damage as does the other driver. I notice as he walks up he is a yelling and swearing up a storm. I find this funny especially since he is a person of small stature or a dwarf if you will.

He comes up to me all in a angry state and says "I am not happy"
I reply "well which one are you?"

Cheers
K

wrbear · 03-15-2011, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by =Stephens=

Here's a religious one...

What did jesus say when he was hanging on the cross?

Well, this is one hell of a way to spend my easter vacation.

What were the last words spoken by Jesus at the last supper?

Separate checks please!

=Stephens= · 03-15-2011, 07:04 PM

I thought he was saying....pass the salt.

dermo1989 · 03-15-2011, 07:17 PM

A termite walks into a Bar and asks, " is the bar tender here?"

RiCorvette · 03-15-2011, 07:28 PM

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!' ".
The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?".
One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: "Holy Crap! A talking chicken!".

RiCorvette · 03-15-2011, 07:33 PM

A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Do you have any chapstick?" When the pharmacist hands it to him, the duck replies, "Thanks, just put it on my bill."

CAPT D · 03-16-2011, 08:35 AM

There are 2 fish in a tank. One fish says "you drive, i'll man the gun".

wylde1 · 03-16-2011, 09:34 AM

hahah I'm still laughing at that midgets laughing while they run joke hahahaha

why did Jesus quit hockey?

Tired of getting nailed to the boards.

LS3SuperSport · 03-16-2011, 10:20 AM

Two women are chatting in front of the store when a cowboy rides up, ties his horse out front, walks around behind it, lifts its tail and kisses the horse's ass.
Disgusted the women ask .."why did you do that?"
The cowboy replies.. "I've got chapped lips"
"does that make them feel better?"
"Nope, but it stops me from licking them."

2011 5.0 · 03-16-2011, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by =Stephens=

Point well taken. I will keep em "PG"

Do you know what all Mustang owners want for Christmas?

A Camaro.

Man that is a funny joke! I can't stop laughing!!!!

the Kolektor · 03-16-2011, 11:10 AM

Heard this lastnight, pretty lame but here goes....

How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen had???

Enough to kill Two and a Half Men!!

LS3SuperSport · 03-16-2011, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the Kolektor

Heard this lastnight, pretty lame but here goes....

How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen had???

Enough to kill Two and a Half Men!!

henri26900 · 03-16-2011, 12:04 PM

A man is sitting on the veranda with his wife and he says, “I love you.”

She asks, “Is that you or the beer talking?”

“It’s me,” he replies. “I’m talking to the beer.”

*CamaroSpike23* · 03-16-2011, 01:25 PM

A man and his wife are at the beach questioning whether to get in the water or not. a turd floats by them and says "jump on in, the waters fine"

the man looks at his wife and says "do you believe that piece of crap?"

03-15-2011, 07:17 PM	#18
dermo1989 BAQNBLK Drives: 2010 SS/RS BLACK W/INFERNO PKG Join Date: May 2009 Location: LIVONIA, MICHIGAN Posts: 652 View My Garage	A termite walks into a Bar and asks, " is the bar tender here?" __________________

03-16-2011, 09:34 AM	#22
wylde1 I am the Stig Drives: Black w/ IOM stripe 1SS Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Saskatoon, SK, CAN Posts: 1,312	hahah I'm still laughing at that midgets laughing while they run joke hahahaha why did Jesus quit hockey? Tired of getting nailed to the boards. __________________ 2010 Camaro - 1SS, Black w/ Orange stripes

03-16-2011, 11:10 AM	#25
the Kolektor Patiently waiting.... Drives: 2007 Jeep Wrangler Sahara Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Louisville, Ky Posts: 625	Heard this lastnight, pretty lame but here goes.... How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen had??? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men!! __________________ You Know......Sometimes you just can't fix stupid!!!!

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03-15-2011, 12:43 PM	#15
Moriartii Drives: 11 IOM 2SS/RS M6 w/Hurst Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Austin Texas Posts: 1,269	You know I cant believe we started another one of these threads, usually I dont mind stuff like this but after the morning I have had this bothers me. I am coming back from my physical this morning in my wife's Jeep and, while sitting at a stop light.....BAM I get rear ended. I am pretty irritated and I get out to inspect the damage as does the other driver. I notice as he walks up he is a yelling and swearing up a storm. I find this funny especially since he is a person of small stature or a dwarf if you will. He comes up to me all in a angry state and says "I am not happy" I reply "well which one are you?" Cheers K

03-15-2011, 07:04 PM	#17
=Stephens= Drives: 2011 LS Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Kearney, Nebraska Posts: 3,544 View My Garage	I thought he was saying....pass the salt.

03-15-2011, 07:28 PM	#19
RiCorvette Drives: 2017 Corvette Grand Sport 3LT Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Center of the known Universe Posts: 863	One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!' ". The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?". One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: "Holy Crap! A talking chicken!".

03-15-2011, 07:33 PM	#20
RiCorvette Drives: 2017 Corvette Grand Sport 3LT Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Center of the known Universe Posts: 863	A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Do you have any chapstick?" When the pharmacist hands it to him, the duck replies, "Thanks, just put it on my bill."

03-16-2011, 08:35 AM	#21
CAPT D Drives: 1SS Black w/ White Strips M6 Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: El Paso, Texas Posts: 735 View My Garage	There are 2 fish in a tank. One fish says "you drive, i'll man the gun".

03-16-2011, 10:20 AM	#23
LS3SuperSport HotRod Drives: 2010 Camaro 2SS M6 Black/IO Int. Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: N.S. Canada Posts: 582	Two women are chatting in front of the store when a cowboy rides up, ties his horse out front, walks around behind it, lifts its tail and kisses the horse's ass. Disgusted the women ask .."why did you do that?" The cowboy replies.. "I've got chapped lips" "does that make them feel better?" "Nope, but it stops me from licking them."

03-16-2011, 12:04 PM	#27
henri26900 Drives: 2010 Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Murrieta Ca Posts: 259	A man is sitting on the veranda with his wife and he says, “I love you.” She asks, “Is that you or the beer talking?” “It’s me,” he replies. “I’m talking to the beer.”