Did You Have A E-Mail Worth Passing Around?? Post It Here

[tjbusa]

I have been bombarded with all kinds of e-mail and some I'd like to send back something that will make them stop. Others are great and I gladly forward them to family and friends. Got something worth sharing... post away


This one is recent, copy and paste, send it to _ _ _ if it fits the occasion.
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Subject: An Elephant Never Forgets


What an amazing story!!

Amazing










In 1972, Joe Miller was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Tulsa Junior College .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Joe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Joe worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to Joe, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Joe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.




Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Joe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Thirty years later, Joe was walking through the Tulsa Zoo with his family. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Joe and his family were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Joe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1972, Joe could not help wondering if this was the same elephant... Joe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Joe's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.



Probably wasn't the same elephant.

This is for everyone who sends me those heart-warming bullshit stories.





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[Epitaph]

I was on a website the other day and people were discussing how the proficiency of black students is found to be far lower than expected according to this link.

Well, I have experienced this problem first hand in my own life. I live in a rather upscale neighborhood in a "good community", and attend a very well renowned private school. My parents have always placed a high priority on my education. All three of us actually (I have 2 sisters), have always been pushed by our parents to try to do our best in school. They are active in school functions and meetings and are always there with the answers when we need help.

This past summer my cousin, who grew up in what you could call an "inner-city urban environment", came in to visit us for a while... then his visit transformed into a prolonged stay. Apparently he is going to be staying with us for some time, so my parents decided to enroll him in my school and we have been going there together for the past two months.

In this relatively short amount of time I've noticed his overall attitude towards education is so backwards. He thinks if anyone tries to teach him anything they are somehow the enemy. He is always trying to get out of hard work any way he can. Half the time the teachers and administrators at my school can't even do their jobs because my cousin is so busy singing and dancing like a fool in class. Worst of all if I try to say something about his behavior, he just goofs on me for trying to "act white". As much as my parents and I try we just can't seem to get through to him.

Sometimes I wish they would just send his princely ass back to Philly.

Credit

[20Camaro11]

[heRS]

Wise Investment of Great Urgency (Not MLM)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Dear Investors,
This is of the utmost urgency. The following is the "sleeper of all sleepers." Please send your check in the amount of $50,000 immediately. We are limiting each participant to one unit. You can
understand after reading this once in a lifetime offer.

A group of us are considering investing in a large cat ranch near Hermosillo, Mexico. It is our purpose to start rather small with about one million cats. Each cat averages about twelve kittens a year; skins can be sold for about 20 cents for the white ones and up to 40 cents for the black. This will give us twelve million cat skins per year to sell at an average price of around 32 cents, making our gross revenue about $3 million a year. This really averages out to about $10,000 a day (excluding Sundays and holidays, of course).

A good Mexican cat man can skin about 50 cats each day, at a wage of $13.15 a day. It will take 663 men to operate the ranch, so the net profit would be over $8,200 per day. Your $50,000 investment would be recovered in 6.1 days, which beats the stock market don't ya know.

Now, the cats would be fed on rats exclusively. Rats multiply four times faster than cats. We would start a rat ranch adjacent to our cat farm for the rats. If we start with a million rats, we will have
four rats per cat per day. The rats will be fed on the carcasses of the cats that we skin. This will give each rat a quarter of a cat.

You can see by this that the business is a clean operation; self-supporting and really automatic throughout. The cats will eat the rats and the rats will eat the cats and we will get the skins.

Eventually, it is our hope to cross the cats with snakes, for they will skin themselves twice a year. This would save the labor cost of skinning, as well as give us two skins per cat.

Time is of the essence. Any hesitation on your part would be sheer disaster. Become a millionaire with us through knowledgeable investments.

Send your cashier's check today to:
Dreamer, Inc.
1122 Cat Ranch Way
Hermosillo, Mexico 0U812

[tjbusa]

heRS... thats a killer

[heRS]

it takes a special sense of humor

[tjbusa]

Ok... This one I have had for years and I've kept it because its a good one.


> > Concrete Theory...or is it

> > A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in
> > front of him. When the class began, silently he picked up a large empty
> > mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in
> > diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They
> > agreed that it was.
> >
> > So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into
> > the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into
> > the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the
> > jar was full. They again agreed it was. The professor picked up a box of
> > sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything
> > else.
> >
> > "Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this is your
> > life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner,
> > your health, your children - things that if everything else was lost and
> > only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the
> > other
> > things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is
> > everything
> > else. The small stuff."
> >
> > "If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the
> > pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your
> > time
> > and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things
> > that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical
> > to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical
> > checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to
> > work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal."
> > "Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set
> > your priorities. The rest is just sand."
> >
> > But then...
> > A student then took the jar which the other students and the
> > professor agreed was full, and proceeded to pour in a glass of beer.
> > Of course the beer filled the remaining spaces within the jar making
> > the jar truly full.
> >
> > The moral of this tale is:
> > - No matter how full your life is, there is always room for BEER
> > .
> >
>