Best Speeding Excuses to Avoid Ticket - Page 2

WadeWilson · 06-23-2010, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrray13

Quoted for truth! Every third car has a bathroom emergency. Or they are going to a funeral in Memphis, or Mississippi. So I guess no one is alive in those states.

Be original, be funny. Not saying it works everytime, but it's a lot better then pouring tea in your lap.

Best one I've had was a oriental guy with broken English tell me that he had " stomach bad ache, got to poo." He was doing 82 in a 65. I told him if he had to poo bad enough, there was a tree right there, while I ran his information. He immediately jumped out of his suv, grabbed some TP, and headed for the trees. I lost it, his name, while I won't say it here, if twisted just a bit, would refer to a dong being of wei size. I was going to let him go, but he came back suspended. The best part was the dispatcher, who is gay, repeat the guys name back to me giving me the information, " Your W** D*** is clear, suspended."

gmag21 · 06-23-2010, 11:48 AM

Or just say,

Sorry officer, I needed to pick up my son/daughter/little brother quickly from best buy (or wherever he may be) so he wouldn't be late for church tonight

Tessa · 06-23-2010, 02:34 PM

No excuses needed - Just get breasts....

Treefrog · 06-23-2010, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tessa

No excuses needed - Just get breasts....

oh thats just so wrong! lol

Mr Twisty · 06-23-2010, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tessa

No excuses needed - Just get breasts....

Ehhh.... for you maybe

*SSE 4 2SS* · 06-24-2010, 05:28 AM

Not mine but from a readers digest many years ago...
Officer was debating heading back to the station. It had been a long hot day in the Florida sun working traffic and he wanted one last good ticket for the day...
Car goes flying by on the road in front of him...90 or so in a 55 zone
Lights, siren...
Walks up to find a, college age, very attractive female...

Officer..." I've been waiting all day for you."

Female... "I got here as fast as I could."

Officer laughing hysterically... " go on, but SLOW DOWN."

Revo1 · 06-24-2010, 05:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tessa

No excuses needed - Just get breasts....

THAT'S what I've been doing wrong!

(Not actually me)

Tessa · 06-24-2010, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MisterCamaro69

Ehhh.... for you maybe

Might work - you never know how the cop swings...

Tessa · 06-24-2010, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Revo1

THAT'S what I've been doing wrong!

(Not actually me)

Apparently worked for me the last time I got pulled over....LOL
That or the shock that I was a chick in a Camaro - I bet he was expecting some old guy who was loaded with speeding violations....

Master Shake · 06-29-2010, 12:29 PM

If everyone else is speeding also...

Me: Why did you pull me over when everyone else was also speeding?

Cop: Do you ever go fishing?

Me: Sure. Why?

Cop: Did you catch them all?

Me: No, but I usually throw the little ones back in.

Cop: Laugh. Slow down next time!

Freezy · 06-29-2010, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EnvyTerra

I'm sorry officer I didn't know I couldn't do that.

"Well now you know!, Now get outta here"

06-23-2010, 11:48 AM	#16
gmag21 gmag21 Drives: 2010 Camaro 1SS/RS Join Date: May 2009 Location: Lafayette/Kingwood Posts: 336	Or just say, Sorry officer, I needed to pick up my son/daughter/little brother quickly from best buy (or wherever he may be) so he wouldn't be late for church tonight __________________ L99 \| Billyboat Exhaust, American Racing Headers, Pfadt Springs and Sways, Tune \| 350 whp / 371 tq

06-24-2010, 05:28 AM	#20
SSE 4 2SS Boosted Moderator Drives: Bone Stock LS3 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Marion Tx Posts: 15,799	Not mine but from a readers digest many years ago... Officer was debating heading back to the station. It had been a long hot day in the Florida sun working traffic and he wanted one last good ticket for the day... Car goes flying by on the road in front of him...90 or so in a 55 zone Lights, siren... Walks up to find a, college age, very attractive female... Officer..." I've been waiting all day for you." Female... "I got here as fast as I could." Officer laughing hysterically... " go on, but SLOW DOWN." __________________ If the car feels like it is on rails, you are probably driving too slow. -Ross Bentley Horsepower is how fast you hit the wall. Torque is how far you take the wall with you. “If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.” Mario Andretti If you can turn, you ain't going fast enough...

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06-23-2010, 02:34 PM	#17
Tessa Mischief Managed Drives: 2SS/RS RJT with silver rallys Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Southbound Posts: 8,179 View My Garage	No excuses needed - Just get breasts....

06-29-2010, 12:29 PM	#24
Master Shake Drives: Camaro LS Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: US Posts: 45	If everyone else is speeding also... Me: Why did you pull me over when everyone else was also speeding? Cop: Do you ever go fishing? Me: Sure. Why? Cop: Did you catch them all? Me: No, but I usually throw the little ones back in. Cop: Laugh. Slow down next time!