The "MAN RULES"

Sir Nuke · 06-22-2010, 12:28 PM

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.
We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and if one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Da Hose · 06-22-2010, 12:32 PM

AMEN and AMEN

guiLT · 06-22-2010, 12:34 PM

+2!!!

"prima"Donna · 06-22-2010, 12:41 PM

I have to admit, these are pretty funny, and I hope the ladies don't 'kill me'

for agreeing with most of them...lol...

2ndgenz28 · 06-22-2010, 12:56 PM

Yep to many years of women having their cake and eating it too, then dare to ask if you look fat in your jeans

WadeWilson · 06-22-2010, 12:57 PM

+1,000,000

Especially the toilet seat rule.

JoeP@TeamBeckyD · 06-22-2010, 12:59 PM

I'm with Donna on this one. They're pretty funny and seems to be mostly true from the male perspective. Of course, who said women would listen.....

brandotron · 06-22-2010, 12:59 PM

Haha, I like that they're all #1

*Camaro_Corvette* · 06-22-2010, 12:59 PM

Yep, yep, and yep.

+ a million on the toilet seat rule.

Bonnie · 06-22-2010, 01:10 PM

Yes, that is very funny in so many ways but I have to say the men that live by this are probably single. LOL

Da Hose · 06-22-2010, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bonnie

Yes, that is very funny in so many ways but I have to say the men that live by this are probably single. LOL

That is so not true....I live by.....uh...what was that dear??? yes snookums, I'll take out the garbage and wash your car!!!! lub uOH yeah, where was I again!!!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Bonnie · 06-22-2010, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Da Hose

That is so not true....I live by.....uh...what was that dear??? yes snookums, I'll take out the garbage and wash your car!!!! lub uOH yeah, where was I again!!!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I've met Kelly! hahahaha, thats all I need to say!!!!!! hahahaha

Da Hose · 06-22-2010, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bonnie

I've met Kelly! hahahaha, thats all I need to say!!!!!! hahahaha

BUSTED

fielderLS3 · 06-22-2010, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bonnie

Yes, that is very funny in so many ways but I have to say the men that live by this are probably single. LOL

Single?...not necessarily. These are universal laws. They apply to all of us, single and married. Happy?...yes.

06-22-2010, 12:34 PM	#3
guiLT Tampa Gulf Coast Family Drives: 2001 Maxima Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Tampa, Florida Posts: 6,585 View My Garage	+2!!! __________________

06-22-2010, 12:41 PM	#4
"prima"Donna HWAY STR Drives: 2010 RJT VIN#7085 & 2014 CRT C7 Join Date: May 2009 Location: New York Posts: 13,118 View My Garage	I have to admit, these are pretty funny, and I hope the ladies don't 'kill me' for agreeing with most of them...lol... __________________ ~ HWAY STR ~

06-22-2010, 12:59 PM	#8
brandotron I am the internets. Drives: dangerously Join Date: May 2009 Location: Redondo Beach, CA Posts: 12,571 View My Garage	Haha, I like that they're all #1 __________________

06-22-2010, 12:59 PM	#9
Camaro_Corvette 36.58625, -121.7568 Drives: Team 1LE Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Earth Posts: 23,710 View My Garage	Yep, yep, and yep. + a million on the toilet seat rule. __________________ I am seriously never serious vv V vv Next order of business

06-22-2010, 01:10 PM	#10
Bonnie Bonfyre Drives: C6, 2005 Corvette Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Mobile, AL Posts: 2,845	Yes, that is very funny in so many ways but I have to say the men that live by this are probably single. LOL __________________

06-22-2010, 12:28 PM	#1
Sir Nuke Master of All Things Drives: '26 Corvette Stingray Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Southeast of Houston, Texas Posts: 22,739 View My Garage	The "MAN RULES" The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear " the rules " From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and if one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. __________________

06-22-2010, 12:32 PM	#2
Da Hose ACCOUNT HOZED BY GN...... Drives: 2011 SGM 2SS/RS #26731 Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Katy, TX Posts: 5,891 View My Garage	AMEN and AMEN

06-22-2010, 12:56 PM	#5
2ndgenz28 Thread Killer Drives: All Black Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: NWO Toledo Area Posts: 4,720	Yep to many years of women having their cake and eating it too, then dare to ask if you look fat in your jeans

06-22-2010, 12:57 PM	#6
WadeWilson How U Doin? Drives: 2014 CTS-V Coupe Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Californication Posts: 24,154 View My Garage	+1,000,000 Especially the toilet seat rule.

06-22-2010, 12:59 PM	#7
JoeP@TeamBeckyD 1 Drives: SS,PaceCar,ZL1,1LE,C7Z51,Z06,17-ZL1 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Detroit, Mich Posts: 68,623	I'm with Donna on this one. They're pretty funny and seems to be mostly true from the male perspective. Of course, who said women would listen.....

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