Things you should know about cops - Page 4

*Mr. Wyndham* · 07-01-2007, 12:08 AM

That's good, I like that one!!!

*TAG UR IT* · 07-01-2007, 03:58 AM

,,,,,,,

*Mindz* · 07-01-2007, 11:44 AM

A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:
Man: What's the problem officer?
Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.
Man: No sir, I was going 65.
Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.
Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!
Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.
Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.
Man: Shut your mouth, woman!
Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?
Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour.
"Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?"
The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do."
"Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?"
The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."

What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.

Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.
The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"
"Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat."
"What fer?", asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
"No, sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "We're on the patch."

A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?"
Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."

How many cop jokes are there? Just two, all the rest are true!

alleykt123 · 07-01-2007, 01:59 PM

(Just had to do it

)

Dave McFly · 07-01-2007, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alleykt123

(Just had to do it

)

Now THAT is funny

alleykt123 · 07-01-2007, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dave McFly

Now THAT is funny

Might get spanked for that one, but just had to do it!

MerF · 09-08-2007, 02:17 PM

Somehow never saw this thread. Brilliant stuff! Especially the designated decoy, that was stinking brilliant.

TFord · 09-08-2007, 02:35 PM

no offence TAG but Ive never had a positive experience with the police with the exception of TAG. Ive been beaten, harassed, and and every time its because I "fit the description"

MerF · 09-08-2007, 02:45 PM

Kill blackie!

I couldn't resist...hehe. That's why you should always have a white friend with you. I've actually been used in that role before (token white guy), and it worked. It was hilarious.

TFord · 09-08-2007, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MerF

I couldn't resist...hehe. That's why you should always have a white friend with you. I've actually been used in that role before (token white guy), and it worked. It was hilarious.

when I first moved to georgia I never went anywhere without a white guy

*CamaroSpike23* · 09-08-2007, 06:28 PM

my buddy got arrested one time for possession. when I picked him up, he threw his backpack in the trunk. didnt think to much about it. got pulled over for speeding, cop took my paperwork and was walkin back to his car and my buddy leans over and asks... "do you think he's gonna search the car?"

cop came back and i popped the trunk, punched my buddy in the chest, and he owned up to having some mary jane in the bag and was taken away.

found out later the cop that arrested him was discharged later for taking about half the MJ and smoking it himself. he got caught having to transport a police dog and had been smoking in the car...

Eisenhower · 09-08-2007, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MerF

Kill blackie!

I couldn't resist...hehe. That's why you should always have a white friend with you. I've actually been used in that role before (token white guy), and it worked. It was hilarious.

Yeah, I think I remember you telling us this story once, MerF! Let's see, how did it go? Oh yeah!

COP: Since you're with Mr. White here, I'm gonna cut you a break. Drive safely.
blackie: Tanks mista off-sa! Boy, I'm show glad you here wit me taday Mr. White! How tan I evah repaid you?

Profiling is real, so is your lack of respect for African Americans.

--you have an ity-bity brain.

*CamaroSpike23* · 09-08-2007, 07:56 PM

eh get offended, whine some more, add fuel to the fire

Jak · 09-08-2007, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eisenhower

Yeah, I think I remember you telling us this story once, MerF! Let's see, how did it go? Oh yeah!

COP: Since you're with Mr. White here, I'm gonna cut you a break. Drive safely.
blackie: Tanks mista off-sa! Boy, I'm show glad you here wit me taday Mr. White! How tan I evah repaid you?

Profiling is real, so is your lack of respect for African Americans.

--you have an ity-bity brain.

07-01-2007, 12:08 AM	#43
Mr. Wyndham I used to be Dragoneye... Drives: 2018 ZL1 1LE Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Buffalo, NY Posts: 31,873 View My Garage	That's good, I like that one!!! __________________ *"Keep the faith."* - Fbodfather

07-01-2007, 03:58 AM	#44
TAG UR IT www.Camaro5store.com Drives: 2014 ZL1 #705 Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: SA, Texas Posts: 26,544 View My Garage	,,,,,,, Attached Images

07-01-2007, 11:44 AM	#45
Mindz E.B.A.H. Drives: you wild... Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: In the happy padded room wearing a jacket that makes me hug myself... Posts: 18,420	A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk. Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?" The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..." What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large. Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!" "Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat." "What fer?", asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl. Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?" "No, sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "We're on the patch." A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?" Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!" The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this." How many cop jokes are there? Just two, all the rest are true! __________________ Blue Rush, 2010 SS [Car of the Week 3/22/2010] Traded in on...ZLZBUBB, 2013 ZL1

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09-08-2007, 02:17 PM	#49
MerF Go Rays! Drives: 03 Trailblazer Join Date: May 2007 Location: St Pete, Florida Posts: 2,532	Somehow never saw this thread. Brilliant stuff! Especially the designated decoy, that was stinking brilliant.

09-08-2007, 02:35 PM	#50
TFord Camaro Fanatic Drives: 2000 Z28 Join Date: May 2007 Location: Auburn, WA Posts: 1,808 View My Garage	no offence TAG but Ive never had a positive experience with the police with the exception of TAG. Ive been beaten, harassed, and and every time its because I "fit the description"

09-08-2007, 02:45 PM	#51
MerF Go Rays! Drives: 03 Trailblazer Join Date: May 2007 Location: St Pete, Florida Posts: 2,532	Kill blackie! I couldn't resist...hehe. That's why you should always have a white friend with you. I've actually been used in that role before (token white guy), and it worked. It was hilarious.