heart broken

[will69camaro]

Originally Posted by bozbot

well its the next day. i still feel sick to my stomach about the fight and everything last night.

im giving her her space as suggested here. i just have a guy feeling that there is more to her throwing me out than the money and the car. like I said she knew my finances when we first got together and I moved in. I just wish she would respond sooner rather than later cuz technically we didnt break up. we just had a fight and she kicked me out. I want to know if i need to start moving on with my life...

oh and what does PIITB? I have a guess but just want to make sure im right

PIITB = Put It In The Butt.

You're 26, you knew her for like 4 months I'm guessing. That's barely 1% of your life with someone, IF it was even THAT much. Get over it.

[Zeus]

Originally Posted by will69camaro

PIITB = Put It In The Butt.

You're 26, you knew her for like 4 months I'm guessing. That's barely 1% of your life with someone, IF it was even THAT much. Get over it.

4 month relationship at 26 years old means GTFO her.

[Iwantone2]

Well, after reading through it all, I'm gonna have to take back my post.

I thought the girl came first and the car came next, but it's the other way around. And she knew about your finances before and such when you guys met. So she knew what was going on...something doesn't sit right

Dude, you're 26!!! The world is your playground right now! I know that the pain and hurt are at it's peak when it just happens, but believe me, time heals everything. I'm not saying it will take an hour, but it will get better. You've done what you could to get in contact with her to no avail. Like other's have said, give her a cool-off period. Try contacting her after some time has passed, but not too much time. Offer to talk (talk) with her about everything that needs to be resolved, not about the argument you guys had.

Even if things don't work out completely, at least you'll get closure and then you'll know that you MUST move on!! As soon as you know you can move on, get out there and be a beast at meeting women!!!

[springerpete]

Don't contact her at all other than to get your stuff back. The ball is in her court now and let her contact you if she wants to. If she don't then MAN UP and move out.

The best cure and quasi-revenge is to go out and have a great time with your friends. Probably friends that you neglected because of her. (experience on my part)

[DandDC09]

If she was such an awesome person, she would have TALKED to you about the money issues. Like a mature adult.
She knew you had the camaro before you got together, I assume she knew about your bills before you moved in. You agreed on a rent payment to her from you. You were making that payment on time, I assume. So she really had no reason to get upset about the car payment. Your car, your business. As long as you were paying her the agreed amount to help with her rent, then there shouldn't have been a problem.
So, I'll say there's something else going on. She isn't happy. So she went for what was easiest to argue about and used that against you.

You're only 26, things will get better. Don't change who you are and what you love for someone who doesn't seem happy anyway.
When I met my husband I knew he was a car guy. And I'm a car girl. We share that same passion. We have had our fights over money but our relationship is strong enough that we talked through those fights, fixed the problems, and were just fine. Find someone who is on a more mature level, and try to save lots of money while living with your mom so you can have a good place to live.

By the way, I moved in with my husband when we'd been dating for 5 months. We got married after being together for 3 years, and 5 days after our wedding we found out he had colon cancer. Every day since then we've been dealing with medical bills, chemo, radiation, and all the other CRAP that goes along with cancer. Every day is stressful, exhausting, and so on and so forth. But I'm there for my husband and my husband stays strong for me and his daughter. In 20 years if we think we are having problems, we can look back on the first year of our marriage and remember what REAL problems were like, and how happy we were just to BE together.
I'm the love of his life and he's the love of mine, and he didn't find me until after he was divorced and 33 years old. So you've got plenty of time to find the REAL woman of your dreams

[wylde1]

I'm not gonna restate what everyones said already, there's some sound advice in there. But I'll just throw out some experiences I've had. This one really changed my life.

I was seeing a girl that I pretty much thought was the greatest thing in the world. Not trying to toot my own horn, but she was smokin' hot (actually modeled for Ford modelleing agency in toronto). and we got along great at first... somewhere down the line (mabye 5-6 months) it was like a switch flipped and she said she wanted to go back to australia (she was from there originally) and didn't want to be in a relationship. I was totally confused and totally hung up on her. Made all the wrong moves, called her all the time, did things for her whenever she asked, drove her places you name it. All in the hopes I'd get her back.

Then I heard she was seeing someone, who happend to be a friend of mine... after raging for a while hahaha I told her not to call me anymore and basically cold turkey'd her out of my life.

SURPRISE!... she started calling ME every day, Facebooking me, etc etc said she wasn't seeing this other dude any mroe and wanted to hang out. So, I broke down and took her out again (I did mention she was a smokin' hot australian chick right?) and then, she totally reverted and was just as uninterested as before in me. really pissed me off. We went through this cycle probably 2-3 more times, and it was a killer on me man. I really liked her and every time I thought I got over it, she was calling me again.

Finally, I said that's enough. No more of this bending over to please someone, or changing what I want in life for them. Since that "lightbulb" moment, I have to say I've never been happier. (this was years ago mind you) but it changed my whole attitude on life in general, and that's no understatement. I apply that philosophy to my career as well. If you have to make changes that you feel make you not you, get out. Your going to have compromises, that's a huge part of relationships. But when it comes to the things that are REALLY important to you, the RIGHT woman will NOT make you compromise it.

Fast forward a few years, I've found myself a beautiful fiancee who has goals of her own, and I support her every step of the way, as she does with me. And I give her all the credit in the world cuz I'm not an easy guy to live with haha. I'm not cranky or anything but I'm very stubborn and don't give up easily, sometimes to my detriment. I have a band, my project truck, the camaro's coming soon, my career is very busy. But I am passionate about all of that stuff, and while she rolls her eyes when I spend money on vehicles, she knows how happy it makes me. (hell she let me keep and rebuild my t56 on the front porch haha talk about luckiest guy in the world) I know it sucks now dude, but the beginning of a relationship is not the time to compromise. I've found that some of the problems stem from not getting to know the person enough to know what their REAL goals and passions are. That's love. Sorry to go all romance novel on you haha but that's really the bottom line. Can you encourage eachothers hopes and dreams? if not, pull the chute man your wasting your time.

[EDISKRAD EHT]

If you're a "Car Guy" then don't waste your time with any girl that can't understand that. She has to respect your passion, and if she doesn't already then it'd just be worse down the road. She would always resent your car and that would keep you from truly enjoying it.

I've let quite a few girls go specifically because they are jealous of my car. The one I have now actually finds my love for cars as a desirable trait because it "shows I can have passion for things".

She was pretty shocked when I put my GTO for sale to order a new Camaro and start all over on a new project. She said I was crazy to do so after the love and money I've put into the GTO, but she completely understands and said just do what makes me happy.

A good women will make a car guys passion for cars that much more enjoyable.

[wylde1]

Originally Posted by EDISKRAD EHT

She was pretty shocked when I put my GTO for sale to order a new Camaro and start all over on a new project. She said I was crazy to do so after the love and money I've put into the GTO, but she completely understands and said just do what makes me happy.

haha I thought my lady was gonna have a stroke when I mentioned the possibility of selling my truck to help pay off the camaro.... she actually said "I'm glad we don't have kids yet... they'd probably go before the truck"


She may be right....

[bozbot]

Originally Posted by Iwantone2

Well, after reading through it all, I'm gonna have to take back my post.

I thought the girl came first and the car came next, but it's the other way around. And she knew about your finances before and such when you guys met. So she knew what was going on...something doesn't sit right

Dude, you're 26!!! The world is your playground right now! I know that the pain and hurt are at it's peak when it just happens, but believe me, time heals everything. I'm not saying it will take an hour, but it will get better. You've done what you could to get in contact with her to no avail. Like other's have said, give her a cool-off period. Try contacting her after some time has passed, but not too much time. Offer to talk (talk) with her about everything that needs to be resolved, not about the argument you guys had.

Even if things don't work out completely, at least you'll get closure and then you'll know that you MUST move on!! As soon as you know you can move on, get out there and be a beast at meeting women!!!

I agree something def doesnt sit right. when were were arguing she wouldnt answer any of my questions just would yell back at me with something else she was upset about. so it left me very confused. her apartment is small so it could just be that she felt smothered or it could be she found someone else(i dont really think this is the case tho), there are so many possiblities. she wouldnt tell me other than the money. but like i said before we had agreed on the money and all of a sudden it changes? just seems like an excuse to start a fight. she could have gone about it another way to by talking about it instead of being very demeaning to me and throwing alot of personal attacks my way.

Originally Posted by springerpete

Don't contact her at all other than to get your stuff back. The ball is in her court now and let her contact you if she wants to. If she don't then MAN UP and move out.

The best cure and quasi-revenge is to go out and have a great time with your friends. Probably friends that you neglected because of her. (experience on my part)

i dont plan on contacting her again until she contacts me. I already took all my stuff the night i was kicked out. wasnt alot to begin with since it was such a small place.

as for having fun with friends. ill prob go to a superbowl party this sunday but im thinking against it bcuz i dont want to have to deal with all the questions and talking about what happened with them.

Originally Posted by DandDC09

If she was such an awesome person, she would have TALKED to you about the money issues. Like a mature adult.
She knew you had the camaro before you got together, I assume she knew about your bills before you moved in. You agreed on a rent payment to her from you. You were making that payment on time, I assume. So she really had no reason to get upset about the car payment. Your car, your business. As long as you were paying her the agreed amount to help with her rent, then there shouldn't have been a problem.
So, I'll say there's something else going on. She isn't happy. So she went for what was easiest to argue about and used that against you.

You're only 26, things will get better. Don't change who you are and what you love for someone who doesn't seem happy anyway.
When I met my husband I knew he was a car guy. And I'm a car girl. We share that same passion. We have had our fights over money but our relationship is strong enough that we talked through those fights, fixed the problems, and were just fine. Find someone who is on a more mature level, and try to save lots of money while living with your mom so you can have a good place to live.

By the way, I moved in with my husband when we'd been dating for 5 months. We got married after being together for 3 years, and 5 days after our wedding we found out he had colon cancer. Every day since then we've been dealing with medical bills, chemo, radiation, and all the other CRAP that goes along with cancer. Every day is stressful, exhausting, and so on and so forth. But I'm there for my husband and my husband stays strong for me and his daughter. In 20 years if we think we are having problems, we can look back on the first year of our marriage and remember what REAL problems were like, and how happy we were just to BE together.
I'm the love of his life and he's the love of mine, and he didn't find me until after he was divorced and 33 years old. So you've got plenty of time to find the REAL woman of your dreams

I agree she could have been way more mature about it which 1 either worries me for down the road if this is really the way she deals with things or 2 that this isnt the whole story and there is more. either way it doesnt feel good.

sorry to hear about your husbands cancer, I know how much of a burdon that can be and how that can cause so much stress. thank your for sharing your story. I wish you guys the best!

Originally Posted by wylde1

I'm not gonna restate what everyones said already, there's some sound advice in there. But I'll just throw out some experiences I've had. This one really changed my life.

I was seeing a girl that I pretty much thought was the greatest thing in the world. Not trying to toot my own horn, but she was smokin' hot (actually modeled for Ford modelleing agency in toronto). and we got along great at first... somewhere down the line (mabye 5-6 months) it was like a switch flipped and she said she wanted to go back to australia (she was from there originally) and didn't want to be in a relationship. I was totally confused and totally hung up on her. Made all the wrong moves, called her all the time, did things for her whenever she asked, drove her places you name it. All in the hopes I'd get her back.

Then I heard she was seeing someone, who happend to be a friend of mine... after raging for a while hahaha I told her not to call me anymore and basically cold turkey'd her out of my life.

SURPRISE!... she started calling ME every day, Facebooking me, etc etc said she wasn't seeing this other dude any mroe and wanted to hang out. So, I broke down and took her out again (I did mention she was a smokin' hot australian chick right?) and then, she totally reverted and was just as uninterested as before in me. really pissed me off. We went through this cycle probably 2-3 more times, and it was a killer on me man. I really liked her and every time I thought I got over it, she was calling me again.

Finally, I said that's enough. No more of this bending over to please someone, or changing what I want in life for them. Since that "lightbulb" moment, I have to say I've never been happier. (this was years ago mind you) but it changed my whole attitude on life in general, and that's no understatement. I apply that philosophy to my career as well. If you have to make changes that you feel make you not you, get out. Your going to have compromises, that's a huge part of relationships. But when it comes to the things that are REALLY important to you, the RIGHT woman will NOT make you compromise it.

Fast forward a few years, I've found myself a beautiful fiancee who has goals of her own, and I support her every step of the way, as she does with me. And I give her all the credit in the world cuz I'm not an easy guy to live with haha. I'm not cranky or anything but I'm very stubborn and don't give up easily, sometimes to my detriment. I have a band, my project truck, the camaro's coming soon, my career is very busy. But I am passionate about all of that stuff, and while she rolls her eyes when I spend money on vehicles, she knows how happy it makes me. (hell she let me keep and rebuild my t56 on the front porch haha talk about luckiest guy in the world) I know it sucks now dude, but the beginning of a relationship is not the time to compromise. I've found that some of the problems stem from not getting to know the person enough to know what their REAL goals and passions are. That's love. Sorry to go all romance novel on you haha but that's really the bottom line. Can you encourage eachothers hopes and dreams? if not, pull the chute man your wasting your time.

well not to toot my horn either but my gf is smokin hot too. she has also done modelling. im not going to contact her anymore, that seems to be the consensus with everyone no matter if they say i should stay with her and work things out or if they say to run.

sounds like you end up finding a great woman. congrats to you. I just hope i am that lucky.

Originally Posted by EDISKRAD EHT

If you're a "Car Guy" then don't waste your time with any girl that can't understand that. She has to respect your passion, and if she doesn't already then it'd just be worse down the road. She would always resent your car and that would keep you from truly enjoying it.

I've let quite a few girls go specifically because they are jealous of my car. The one I have now actually finds my love for cars as a desirable trait because it "shows I can have passion for things".

She was pretty shocked when I put my GTO for sale to order a new Camaro and start all over on a new project. She said I was crazy to do so after the love and money I've put into the GTO, but she completely understands and said just do what makes me happy.

A good women will make a car guys passion for cars that much more enjoyable.

I would say I am a car guy. she didnt have a problem with the car itself. she actually loved the car. her problem was with how the money i am paying for the car would effect our ability to maybe get a house down the line and have kids.

she is right on that as I do believe I overextended myself with the car but like I said I got it before I met her or even had a gf so I wasnt really planning on all that so soon.

the more i think about the situation, the more i think I should get rid of the car (regardless of if i work things out with her) just to try and get my finances on track. I know i would be taking a hit upfront but the smaller payments and less insurance and better gas mileage would make a huge change in my monthly expenses.

anyone want to buy a 2LT black on black ~3500 miles. M6 with sunroof?

[bozbot]

http://www.camaro5.com/forums/showthread.php?t=64159

anyone interested, let me know on that thread or by PM

[wylde1]

Originally Posted by bozbot

well not to toot my horn either but my gf is smokin hot too. she has also done modelling. im not going to contact her anymore, that seems to be the consensus with everyone no matter if they say i should stay with her and work things out or if they say to run.

sounds like you end up finding a great woman. congrats to you. I just hope i am that lucky.

Funny how the hot ones are usually crazy haha my lady now is crazy too, just a different, more liveable kind of crazy

sounds like you got a head on your shoulders man. Work out your finances, you can always buy another camaro down the road when you get out from under some debt and you'll enjoy it alot more without the financial burden.

Good luck!

[will69camaro]

If you sell this car and get back with her you're an idiot. She will have "won" and own you the rest of your relationship. Get out now while it's easy.

[Zeus]

[bozbot]

Originally Posted by wylde1

Funny how the hot ones are usually crazy haha my lady now is crazy too, just a different, more liveable kind of crazy

sounds like you got a head on your shoulders man. Work out your finances, you can always buy another camaro down the road when you get out from under some debt and you'll enjoy it alot more without the financial burden.

Good luck!

ive noticed that too, maybe they think they can act like that because they think you wont leave em? who knows...

ive decided that to get rid of the car is the best plan. i will give her that, she was right about it being a bad decision if i ever want to get a place, settle down, etc. she could have gone about it better but whatever. im not doing it for her, she just kind of kicked me in the head.

Originally Posted by will69camaro

If you sell this car and get back with her you're an idiot. She will have "won" and own you the rest of your relationship. Get out now while it's easy.

Will, I am not doing it for her. I dont have a clue of if i will ever even see her again.

that still doesnt change the fact that she was right about it. it is prob better for me to get out from under this car, get a realiable used something with low or no payments and then get focused on getting out of my moms house. ive been crunching numbers all day trying to see how this could play out. luckily for me i have some money in the bank right now that would help out this transition. I still love this car but i think i would love it more down the line some years,when i can get a used one (an SS) when i have more financial freedom.


again everyone, i appreciate everyones input. there is something i can take from pretty much what everyone has said. I am proud that I am a member of this community!