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Old 12-07-2009, 09:48 PM   #1
thejoker1232
 
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hey guys i need your support

so i walked in to the house from taking some finals today and found my mom crying i asked her what is wrong and she talks to me about how she took my grandma to the doctor, and he said that she was dying. She is having problems with food, not eating enough, dosen't want to eat etc. and the pills they have her taking make her sleep 13 hrs a day so you have to wake her up to eat. I used to spent every weekend with my grandma when i was in school and when i got older into my senior year of high school i found myself getting lazy in going over there but i always made myself go watch the cowboys with her on sundays, then one night it was a playoff game in dec i went to go talk to her and she didn't answer the door i called the cops and she overdosed on drugs (by accident slept to much and didnt remember when she took the last one) they took her to the hospital and my mom and i decided to move her into the house. She moved in and kept sleeping and for the past few years it feels like i don't even know her anymore. We have doctors telling her she will die, hospice keeps coming and now nurses come to make sure she is ok. But now is the point to where there is nothing much we can do (and she dosen't want the feeding tube) so all we can do is make her comfortable i am so sad and i feel like i am going crazy at times. i just wanted to get my thoughts into the open thanks for your time.
sorry for the long write-up im usually not a fan of a long write-up either thanks for your time
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Old 12-07-2009, 09:50 PM   #2
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So sorry to hear Joker :(

i'll pray for her .
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Old 12-07-2009, 09:56 PM   #3
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:(

How old is she? What is her illness?

That sux to hear. One thing I want to tell you is that she may say things and act in unkind ways, it's not really her intention probably. Don't take it personaly. She may be depressed and not her real self. Just be there with her and show her love. Hate to hear this man. Hope all turns out well.
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Old 12-07-2009, 09:57 PM   #4
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Bro, you actually have me in tears right now! Alot of people are going to read this, though most won't respond...'cause they don't know how. But all of us feel for you!!! There is nothing that any of us can tell you that you don't already know. However, one thing I will suggest it not to focus you energy on these sad times, but on the more joyous times you spent with her! Remember too, this is only one stage of our existence. She's going to move on to something bigger and better...so much more grand than any of us can imagine! We'll keep you and her in our prayers!!!
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Old 12-07-2009, 10:00 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thejoker1232 View Post
so i walked in to the house from taking some finals today and found my mom crying i asked her what is wrong and she talks to me about how she took my grandma to the doctor, and he said that she was dying. She is having problems with food, not eating enough, dosen't want to eat etc. and the pills they have her taking make her sleep 13 hrs a day so you have to wake her up to eat. I used to spent every weekend with my grandma when i was in school and when i got older into my senior year of high school i found myself getting lazy in going over there but i always made myself go watch the cowboys with her on sundays, then one night it was a playoff game in dec i went to go talk to her and she didn't answer the door i called the cops and she overdosed on drugs (by accident slept to much and didnt remember when she took the last one) they took her to the hospital and my mom and i decided to move her into the house. She moved in and kept sleeping and for the past few years it feels like i don't even know her anymore. We have doctors telling her she will die, hospice keeps coming and now nurses come to make sure she is ok. But now is the point to where there is nothing much we can do (and she dosen't want the feeding tube) so all we can do is make her comfortable i am so sad and i feel like i am going crazy at times. i just wanted to get my thoughts into the open thanks for your time.
sorry for the long write-up im usually not a fan of a long write-up either thanks for your time
damn man, i kno how you feel...my grandma's in a home(alzhimers) and everytime i go there, i just wanna cry, cuz there's nothing i can do...just keep your head up and try to make some new memories while there is still time, and never forget the old ones, i'll keep her and your family in my thoughts everyday...i pray she lives to see many more cowboys games
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Old 12-07-2009, 10:00 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SScattergunSS View Post
Bro, you actually have me in tears right now! Alot of people are going to read this, though most won't respond...'cause they don't know how. But all of us feel for you!!! There is nothing that any of us can tell you that you don't already know. However, one thing I will suggest it not to focus you energy on these sad times, but on the more joyous times you spent with her! Remember too, this is only one stage of our existence. She's going to move on to something bigger and better...so much more grand than any of us can imagine! We'll keep you and her in our prayers!!!
Well said bro.
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Old 12-07-2009, 10:04 PM   #7
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thanks guys yeah i am trying to make the most of every situation, everytime i see her up i always go and kid around her and just become who i used to be and there are times i can make her laugh and i can see a glimpse of what she used to be but it's just hard. and to respond to one the illness question?... i dont really know what her illness is but she has a pinched sciatic nerve so her back is always killing her, and she is always in pain that's why she sleeps and takes pills so she won't be in pain and i know when she goes she will not be in pain anymore
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Old 12-07-2009, 10:59 PM   #8
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joker, scattergun hit the nail on the head. I went through something very similar this year, you need to make her comfy as you can, reflect on the times you have had, and the time you have left.....I lost my mom-in-law in Feb, we loved her very very much. Be strong Bro, and take solice in the fact that where she is going, is a much better place. WE ALL will keep your gramma in our prayers.
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Old 12-07-2009, 11:49 PM   #9
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Joker I went through a very similar situation when my grandmother died. She lived with us for most of my life and was the only family member who really ever believed in me. Her last year she came down with alzhiemers and couldnt really remember much but I would sit and talk with her for hours about "the old days" of her childhood and what she thought she was living. Just try to make the best of the time you have left. And remember the meds may make her act mean or rude or not herself, just remind yourself that isn't her and look past it. I will keep her you and your family in my prayers I know how difficult it is. Stay strong brother stay strong
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Old 12-08-2009, 12:39 AM   #10
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I am so sorry for you...I was in 'your shoes' last year when my Dad was dying...I just tried to be there with him and for him as often as possible to spend as much time with him as I could while he was still 'above ground'...
I am just about in tears as I read your story, as you are feeling like my younger son felt as it was happening...I was practically helpless to console him, because I could barely help myself...
All my energy and focus was on making sure my Dad was well cared for and comfortable...
He gave me more love and attention in his last 6 months than I ever had my whole life and I treasure those memories that he shared about his life...
He was at home and had a live-in aide because he would not live with any of us...he wanted to be in his own home with his dog...he had hospice and they were wonderful with him, and us too...
Let them help you as much as they help the patient, that is what they are good at...they are even there for the family for a year afterward to help us to cope with the grief and loss...

Any time you need to talk, I am here for you, just send me a PM, and I will do my best to help you and try to cheer you up...after all, ''what is 'family for'?"...we are all 'Camaro family' on this fourm, and I got a lot of love and support from the folks on here after I lost my Dad...

Hugs and prayers go out to you from the bottom of my heart and may God Bless you and your family as you go through this difficult time...
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Old 12-08-2009, 09:04 AM   #11
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thanks guys
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Old 12-08-2009, 10:57 AM   #12
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Sorry to hear and my heart goes out to you and your family. I have gone through this many times and it really does not get any easier each time I go through it. I have a niece that is 30 years old that is living day to day dieing from cancer and it brings me back to my nephew who died from cancer 20 years ago when he was 15 years old. The pain never goes away but it does help to remember all the great times you have had with your G-ma and I will tell you from experience that death is very peaceful, I know for a fact because when I was 8 years old I was drowning and when I finally "gave up" there was a great feeling of peace that came over me and I no longer had any fear or panic, just peacefulness that I can't explain because I have never felt it before or after this experience, so with this, I can tell you that when G-ma does pass, she will be in great peace. Good luck and you will be in my prayers.
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Old 12-08-2009, 11:51 AM   #13
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Hey man, I'm so so sorry to hear about your grandma :(. That's always unfortunate. I'm not going to talk like I know what you're going through, because I have no idea. The closest person to me I've ever lost was my dog, who passed away just last month and that was an emotional ordeal I never want to go through again, but inevitably will I know. If I were you, I'd spend as much time with her as I possibly could, just to show her you're there for her and want to do everything in the world for her. My thoughts and prayers are out to you and your grandma for some wonderful times together
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Old 12-08-2009, 12:19 PM   #14
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Hey broham, I don't have anything poignant to say that hasn't already been said, but we're all here for you. Stay strong.
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