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Old 05-18-2012, 02:00 PM   #29
Ice Demon

 
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Q. What do you call a dog with no legs?
A. It doesn't matter what you call him he is not coming.
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Old 05-18-2012, 02:01 PM   #30
Monchy36
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Q: What is the best definition of a mixed emotion?
A: Watching the mother-in-law reverse off a cliff driving your brand new Camaro.
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Old 05-18-2012, 02:10 PM   #31
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Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?

A. He sleeps at night.
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Old 05-18-2012, 02:12 PM   #32
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Q. What do you call a boomerang what doesn't come back?
A. A stick
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Old 05-18-2012, 02:29 PM   #33
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Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
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Old 05-18-2012, 02:31 PM   #34
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Quote:
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Q. What do you call a boomerang what doesn't come back?
A. A stick
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Old 05-18-2012, 02:41 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coltrane View Post
True. Ask the Secret Service!
..................

Quote:
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Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?

A. Meth.
Fixed.
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Old 05-18-2012, 02:45 PM   #36
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Old 05-18-2012, 02:50 PM   #37
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Old 05-18-2012, 10:08 PM   #38
Ladybugsmom
Older than I look....
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Overflow View Post
Here's one I found..

0 to 200 in 6 seconds

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.
I'm laughing so hard right now that my husband is looking at me like I've lost my mind...
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Old 05-18-2012, 10:25 PM   #39
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Q. Why does a chicken coupe only have 2 doors?

A. If it had 4 it would be a chicken sedan.

***Warning, slightly vulgar***

Q. What's the difference between a lost golf ball and a female equestrian?

A. A lost golf ball is a hunt on a course...
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Old 05-18-2012, 10:26 PM   #40
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Old 05-18-2012, 11:02 PM   #41
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Q. Whey do they bury people on the side of a hill?

A. Because they are dead.
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Old 05-22-2012, 02:43 AM   #42
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If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags", and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", then what are the Tennessee Titans??
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