What would you have done?

[mbowen89]

Sometimes I think about this "incident" I encountered a couple years ago, and wonder if I would have done something differently. Let me know what you would have seriously done, in this very serious situation.

So the story is I was driving with my fiance, we were 23 yrs old, and I see these two people in a field by the road and house. As I go by I see it's a guy in his upper 20s yanking a woman back to the house by her hair against her will. I stop as fast as I can by my "reactive instincts", and as I pull in the driveway I tell my fiance to call the cops. As I jump out of the car, ready to do who knows what, the guy yells at me to get in my car and get out of here. I honestly don't remember everything he said, but he was definitely trying to intimidate me. I'm about 6'3" and he was on the shorter side, but I'm not very big guy. Anyways I ended up getting back in the car and parked at the next driveway over until the sheriff's showed up. Of course we see a little girl on the porch when we leave. And my fiance is saying that most likely the woman will say nothing happened and the sheriff won't be able to do anything.

I'll never know what the outcome was, I'll never know how close I was to having to have a serious fight with the guy, etc. I honestly remember hoping that the guy would try to fight me so I could beat the crap out of him for what he was doing.

Anyways, just thought I'd see what your reaction would have been. Would you have stopped? Would you have fought the guy if that's what he wanted?

[richard200593]

You honestly did the right thing. I've rncoutered a situation similar to this in a bar a guy grabbed a girl by the back of her neck and I got between them, he tried to start a fight but luckily I had enough friends there to calm me down and we made sure the girl got a cab ride to her family's house and away from her (then) fiancé. In your situation in the middle of nowhere you could have ended up seriously Injured or who knows what, so calling the cops and watching from a distance was a smart move especially with your family in the car to worry about also

[Sir Nuke]

What you did was the right thing.....you didn't know....he could have had a REAL weapon.... and had you ventured closer, he could have came back out of the house and shot you dead where you stood. So after what you saw, stopping, calling the authorities and waiting for them to arrive. THAT was the right and smart thing to do.

[Scalded Dog]

The vast majority of people will look the other way, pretend that they saw nothing, or excuse their failure to respond by saying that somebody else will probably do something about it. You DID react, and you reacted smartly: Anything MORE, and you would have found yourself shot/ stabbed/ arrested, any variety of bad things. Sadly, in cases like this, MUCH of the time, even the victim you are trying to rescue will be more than likely to defend their aggressor, and point fingers at you for causing problems.

There wasn't anything else that you COULD do. You did SOMETHING, which is way more than most would do.

Don't second guess yourself any longer. You said this happened two years ago, and your post makes me think that you still wonder if you could have done things better. 'Better' might have been shooting the guy between the eyes and making his body disappear in a 55- gallon drum of acid, but that is still frowned upon from a legal standpoint... you did the next best thing.

[JantzenOKC]

Sounds like you did the right thing to me. As much as you would like to go hurt the guy and drag him around by HIS hair... you just can't take that chance. You had your loved one to think about and it was his property he could have had a gun and might have been within his rights to use it once the fight was on. You did more than most would have.

[mbowen89]

I guess I don't second guess how I responded, like you all said, who knows what he would have done if I threatened him.

The mystery is what happened to the woman and little girl! I know this stuff probably happens more than I ever even know.

[BMR Sales]

Could have ended up badly. Good thing you got back in the car and waited for the Police to do their job.

[Scalded Dog]

I wonder about stuff like that... but you'll go nuts wondering.

A few years ago, I was driving an 18- wheeler, and looked over into a car next to me on the Interstate, where a guy was beating the living daylights out of a young female. I immediately called 911 to report it, and the dispatcher said to me, "Thanks for calling this in, sir! We'll send somebody to check it out... Good- bye!"

I replied, "But... you didn't even take a vehicle description, plate number or location from me!"

"Oh, uh, yeah, sure... go ahead and give me those." It was an afterthought, having been 'called out' for not giving a shit.

I couldn't keep up (my truck was governed at a speed far less than the car was travelling), and the car disappeared off into the horizon. I wondered for a long time what the final result of that was, but I'm sure there was no happy ending. Eventually, I learned that thinking about it, wondering, speculating would never accomplish a thing.

[Envy]

Originally Posted by mbowen89

I guess I don't second guess how I responded, like you all said, who knows what he would have done if I threatened him.

The mystery is what happened to the woman and little girl! I know this stuff probably happens more than I ever even know.

Sadly...no real mystery there. The woman suffered a hefty beating that evening because of "all the trouble she caused" that day, and (in the best case scenario) the little girl grew up in an abusive household.

But nothing you could have done that day would have changed any of that.

[Scalded Dog]

Originally Posted by Envy

Sadly...no real mystery there. The woman suffered a hefty beating that evening because of "all the trouble she caused" that day, and (in the best case scenario) the little girl grew up in an abusive household.

But nothing you could have done that day would have changed any of that.

... and she will eventually follow her mother's example, and find relationships with abusive men--- guys like her father--- and the cycle will continue.

Cynical, yes. Most likely true, yes.

[molsonbrador]

You did the right thing. We'd all like to bury that d!ck on the spot but the ugly could have spilled onto you. The guys on his property so now you're at fault, or worse.

[ChrisBlair]

You did the right thing, and the incident was at least logged

[chrisx66]

You did the right thing. Twenty five plus years ago a few friends and I were hanging out in my garage playing pool.

There was an apartment across the alley that was known for selling drugs. A car pulled up and parked, a guy and his girlfriend got out went in the apartment and came out a few minutes later arguing, they got in the car and it wouldn't start. He ended hitting her and yelled at her to ask us for a jump, she came over crying and asked us if we could give them a jump.

We told her we would help her out, one of my friends pulled his car over and we all walked over there, he got out of the car and acting like nothing happened. We got the car started and he thanked us I told him we saw what he did and how he'd feel if I knocked him around a little, he said he didn't want any trouble, I got up in his face and we told his girlfriend to get in the car and drive away and he wouldn't be doing anything about it.

She finally got in and drove away and she ended up driving around the block and picking him up. I never did see them again and couldn't understand why she didn't leave him there.

[Fred 6528]

You clearly did the right thing and don't second guess yourself. The most unfortunate part is that many abused females will continue to stay with the dirt bag.