Something needs to be done about bullying in schools

[Brokinarrow]

Originally Posted by MakGrl

I was bullied in middle school, my mom went to the school and spoke with the principal. Nothing happen for a couple of weeks, but then they started again. It was a group of about five or six girls. When one of them saw me they used to come right behind me and pull my hair. One time they putme into a corner and started kicking me. My teacher saw this and took the girls in the office and expelled them for a couple of days. They came back and they stopped. A couple of months later when I got to 8th grade one of them was behind me and pulled my hair. In that moment I don't know what went through me, I only remember seeing tables upside down and that girl on the floor bleeding from the nose. The teacher knew from the past events why I did it and the principal didn't do anything to me, but from that moment until I left that school they never did anything to me again. I knowviolence is not the answer, but it definitely made them respect me! I don't regret it and I hope this stops soon. It needs to stop now!

It all stems from parenting. If the parents do their job, they teach their kids to treat others as they want to be treated. And when they see or hear about their kids picking on others, they punish them. Too often these days the parents just don't care.

[motorhead]

Originally Posted by franknbeans

this is a double edge sword. . . I do agree with you 100%. . . I do not know the situation or anything, but where were the parents? I believe the parents should be in every aspect of a child's life. . . I know mine where. . .yes I was pissed at the time, but looking back now, I do see why it happened.

From someone that went through dealing with a loved one taking his own life, I find it ridiculous that you would blame the parents on this one. Most of the time no matter how much the parents are involved with the child it can be very hard to see the signs. Like you said I don't know the situation ,but I really blame the parents of the bullies. Most of them know that there kids are like this and yet they let it go on. Some of them even think it's funny. This is really getting out of hand. I agree that something needs to be done.

[HeatherR]

Originally Posted by Brokinarrow

So we encourage our kids to just roll over and take it?? That, in my opinion, is a very large chunk of what I don't like in this country these days.

Anyway, your example wasn't a very good one. Any decent parent would have known better. Proper response would have been to call the police.



Which is why I won't be allowing my kids to be online until I think they will be able to handle it. (once i get around to having them that is )

No. I don't think that kids should roll over and take it. I was simply giving a reason schools can't take action when rules are broken. You create an environment where fighting is acceptable...and a bunch of kids who claim they are standing up for themselves trying to avoid punishment (Bullies themselves using this excuse).

A good parent will talk to their kids about ways to resolve these kinds of problems and use good judgement. Sometimes standing up for yourself may require getting physical.

My example was just that a recent example that is in our local news. The parent is an ahole agreed...It just shows how things can get out of hand very quickly and have tragic, lasting consequences. But wouldn't calling the police be the same as telling a teacher? (BTW, I agree the way to handle it would be to call police, but others in the thread say that "tattling" will make is worse...wouldn't that be the same the next day at school to be teased the next day?)

[Brokinarrow]

Originally Posted by HeatherR

No. I don't think that kids should roll over and take it. I was simply giving a reason schools can't take action when rules are broken. You create an environment where fighting is acceptable...and a bunch of kids who claim they are standing up for themselves trying to avoid punishment (Bullies themselves using this excuse).

A good parent will talk to their kids about ways to resolve these kinds of problems and use good judgement. Sometimes standing up for yourself may require getting physical.

My example was just that a recent example that is in our local news. The parent is an ahole agreed...It just shows how things can get out of hand very quickly and have tragic, lasting consequences. But wouldn't calling the police be the same as telling a teacher? (BTW, I agree the way to handle it would be to call police, but others in the thread say that "tattling" will make is worse...wouldn't that be the same the next day at school to be teased the next day?)

I was saying the father should have called the police. May have gotten the kid made fun of, yes, but when a bunch of lil thugs like that decide to step onto MY property and threaten MY kid... that's where it will end

Anyway, yeah you make good points about the bullies using the same excuse to get out of trouble and such. I definitely feel that fighting should be a last resort, but I don't want my children to feel afraid to fight back if necessary - which I think some schools can have that effect with their threatened punishments for fighting no matter who started it.

I think a lot of my frustration on this topic stems from what my dad told me to do if someone tried to fight me: go hide in a corner. Love my dad to death, but couldn't fathom why he would tell me this.

[Jay_LHD3]

Originally Posted by Brokinarrow

It all stems from parenting. If the parents do their job, they teach their kids to treat others as they want to be treated. And when they see or hear about their kids picking on others, they punish them. Too often these days the parents just don't care.

In your line of thinking you have to be careful. There is fine line from punishing your kid and child abuse. I had an uncle tell me a story about being in the principles office because one of his daughters got in a fight at school.

The principle started telling my uncle how he needed to step up and be a better parent. He let that principle have it. He told the principle that when his kids started coming home from elementary school after being educated on what child abuse was his hands are tied. You can’t spank or send your kid to bed without supper anymore without the government stepping in.

I’m not picking sides here, but today, parents have to be real careful on how they decide to punish their kids. Sad, but that is how it is…

[Brokinarrow]

Originally Posted by jfaber99

In your line of thinking you have to be careful. There is fine line from punishing your kid and child abuse. I had an uncle tell me a story about being in the principles office because one of his daughters got in a fight at school.

The principle started telling my uncle how he needed to step up and be a better parent. He let that principle have it. He told the principle that when his kids started coming home from elementary school after being educated on what child abuse was his hands are tied. You can’t spank or send your kid to bed without supper anymore without the government stepping in.

I’m not picking sides here, but today, parents have to be real careful on how they decide to punish their kids. Sad, but that is how it is…

I disagree, there is a line between spanking and child abuse. Spanking does not leave bruises (or at least it better not!) and is only done when the child deserves it. I definitely DO agree that some of these schools are getting entirely TOO nosey and getting the government involved in places they should never be.

[brandi576]

I agree that kids are bullied from other sources other than just the schools, but alot of times school is the only place these children come in contact with the ones they are being bullied by! I just wish some parents would teach thier children to be respectful of others and how hurtful words can be to others! But most generally those type of kids dont have a parent that cares enough and that is why thier children end up being the way they are! I know my boys arent angels, but they do know there is heavy consequences to pay if and when they get out of line, and with that being said, they generally prefer to behave themselves for the most part rather than deal with the wrath of mom!!

[bigearl]

Originally Posted by Rogue Leader

Suicide has quickly become "socially acceptable", which is pretty sad in and of itself. I don't know why or how but maybe its the sheltering parents give kids, or how everyones a "winner" in Kindergarten sports. Also theres way more ways for it to happen. As little as 5 years ago kids left school and the bully was gone, at least for a night. Now everyone has facebook, myspace, etc and the trashing continues at home.

I just got curious when I read this and I googled suicide rates by year. Apparently this is tracked by the CDC. The results really surprised me. Suicide is actually way down overall over 20 years ago, but that was up tremendously from 20 years before that. And I expected it to be teens but 20-24 year olds were far more likely than teens. I have no point with this other than to say I'm truly truly surprised. I would never have thought that the rates were lower than 20 years ago.



edit: I wanted to add that I in no way want to diminish anything by putting it into numbers. Like I said, I was just curious and surprised.

edit 2, I also wanted to add this:

65 years and over 30.0 24.5 20.8 17.6 20.5 17.9 15.2 15.3 15.6 14.6

Those numbers correspond to the years above. So the overall suicide rate has been pretty constant, but it used to be the elderly committing suicide and those numbers have dropped in half in 40 years.

[Xanthos]

Originally Posted by Bonnie

The problem is the schools won't allow the kids to fight back!! If a child is bullied they are given the same punishment if they push back! Its a bunch of bull sh**!!!!!! So If a bully pushes another kid down and that kid stands up and pushes back they both get suspended, and the teachers know who the trouble makers are!!! BUT RULES WILL BE RULES!!! ITS JUST NOT RIGHT!

I was bulled all the way until 8th grade because I've always been a small guy. My mom always said that if they started something and I ended it, she'd support any punishment the school gave but she wouldn't punish me any. She said I'd have to make a decision and live with the consequences of it. Well, finally in 8th grade I got fed up with it and beat the snot out of a kid twice my size (5 years of bottled up fury goes a long way) and they never messed with me again.

But all these comments about kids thinking suicide is "socially acceptable" are just total BS. I've been depressed before and yes, I did attempt suicide once (not because of bullying) but changed my mind before it was too late. I saw a therapist and got help. But I can tell you I didn't once think about whether it would be socially acceptable. You really think anybody thinks about how popular they'll be after they kill themselves? Its all about ending the pain you're feeling. Not saying its a good thing, but really - blaming it on it being socially acceptable is just finding a scapegoat. What we should be addressing is the cause of the pain that these kids are feeling. Maybe its that bullying is getting worse than it was a few decades ago. Maybe its that parental support is less than it was. Most likely its some combination of factors.

The most important thing we can do for these kids though is to help them feel that they are not alone. Because its when you're feeling like you're no longer really part of this world that you start thinking about taking yourself from it - at least in my experience.

Just my two cents.
- X

[Brokinarrow]

Originally Posted by bigearl

I just got curious when I read this and I googled suicide rates by year. Apparently this is tracked by the CDC. The results really surprised me. Suicide is actually way down overall over 20 years ago, but that was up tremendously from 20 years before that. And I expected it to be teens but 20-24 year olds were far more likely than teens. I have no point with this other than to say I'm truly truly surprised. I would never have thought that the rates were lower than 20 years ago.

Attachment 176471

edit: I wanted to add that I in no way want to diminish anything by putting it into numbers. Like I said, I was just curious and surprised.

I would guess the higher number of 20-24 year olds during those years probably had a lot to do with Korea and Vietnam. But, just a guess.

[HeatherR]

Originally Posted by Brokinarrow

I was saying the father should have called the police. May have gotten the kid made fun of, yes, but when a bunch of lil thugs like that decide to step onto MY property and threaten MY kid... that's where it will end

Anyway, yeah you make good points about the bullies using the same excuse to get out of trouble and such. I definitely feel that fighting should be a last resort, but I don't want my children to feel afraid to fight back if necessary - which I think some schools can have that effect with their threatened punishments for fighting no matter who started it.

I think a lot of my frustration on this topic stems from what my dad told me to do if someone tried to fight me: go hide in a corner. Love my dad to death, but couldn't fathom why he would tell me this.

I guess I have had the unfortunate experience over the years to see so many scenerios play out and was frustrated by so many posts implying if a kid stands up to the bullies once everything will be great....sometimes it even makes it worse.

However, I would be lying if I didn't admit that when a kid I know has been bullied "stands up for themselves" I walk a little slower toward the fight to break it up

[bigearl]

Originally Posted by Brokinarrow

I would guess the higher number of 20-24 year olds during those years probably had a lot to do with Korea and Vietnam. But, just a guess.

I don't know, it appears 20-24 are always higher in every decade.

[Brokinarrow]

Originally Posted by HeatherR

I guess I have had the unfortunate experience over the years to see so many scenerios play out and was frustrated by so many posts implying if a kid stands up to the bullies once everything will be great....sometimes it even makes it worse.

However, I would be lying if I didn't admit that when a kid I know has been bullied "stands up for themselves" I walk a little slower toward the fight to break it up

Yeah you make a good point there, the bully may get mad that he got embarrassed and take things to the next level to get back at the kid. That didn't cross my mind before, but it's a valid point in today's world :(

[brandi576]

Originally Posted by Brokinarrow

I was saying the father should have called the police. May have gotten the kid made fun of, yes, but when a bunch of lil thugs like that decide to step onto MY property and threaten MY kid... that's where it will end

Anyway, yeah you make good points about the bullies using the same excuse to get out of trouble and such. I definitely feel that fighting should be a last resort, but I don't want my children to feel afraid to fight back if necessary - which I think some schools can have that effect with their threatened punishments for fighting no matter who started it.

I think a lot of my frustration on this topic stems from what my dad told me to do if someone tried to fight me: go hide in a corner. Love my dad to death, but couldn't fathom why he would tell me this.

i actually had an instance this past summer where some older boys were picking on my son everytime he walked down to my parents house which is just a few blocks from me. well one time they decided to be real brave and come to my house and sit at the end of my driveway waiting for my son to come outside..well lo and behold they didnt know i was home (and mind you i had already tried speaking to thier parents and that proved to be a waste of my time) so i just told everyone to be still and i called the cops! the boys got a nice surprise when the cops came around the corner and i opened the door and walked out! Never had a problem out those boys again!!