Dating question - Page 9

RubyCamaro · 07-24-2010, 10:32 PM

Ever heard of Co-dependency? Comes from dysfunctional relationships. Take it from a therapist (past 25 years). You are headed there if you have not arrived. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Stop letting this one mess with your self esteem & happiness & go fishing. Better yet, just do stuff that makes YOU happy. When you do, you will likely find your perfect match just hanging around stuff you like. You seem to listen to good advice on here then find excuses not to take it. Go out & make yourself happy.

jordan 572 · 07-25-2010, 12:08 AM

You need

"prima"Donna · 07-25-2010, 02:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mindz

Drop her. Seriously. If it hasn't worked after the third time, obviously she hasn't changed to accomodate you just as much as you haven't changed to accomodate her.

You are just two different people. If she's unwilling to compromise in a mutual relationship, you won't be happy with her. You'll be a whipped pansy more than likely.

If you're scared to talk to women, try a dating site/service like eharmony or whatever. a friend of mine has been dating this guy for more than 2 years and it made a believer out of me.

My main advice is to make yourself happy once in a while. If you worry too much about what other people think all the time, you might be able to please them, but you won't be happy yourself.

Very wise advice, Mindz!!!...

For a young newlywed, you are way ahead of the game....

Very mature thinking!!!

"prima"Donna · 07-25-2010, 02:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RubyCamaro

Ever heard of Co-dependency? Comes from dysfunctional relationships. Take it from a therapist (past 25 years). You are headed there if you have not arrived. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Stop letting this one mess with your self esteem & happiness & go fishing. Better yet, just do stuff that makes YOU happy. When you do, you will likely find your perfect match just hanging around stuff you like. You seem to listen to good advice on here then find excuses not to take it. Go out & make yourself happy.

Very good advice!!!

It takes most of us a lifetime to learn what you just suggested....doing stuff that makes US happy, not trying to make everyone else happy at the expense of our own happiness...

It's taken me a lifetime to figure that out...

It's ok to put ourselves first once in awhile, and if we do, that does not make us selfish...

SScattergunSS · 07-25-2010, 03:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigted83

Alright I need some advice, girls feel free to chip in

Alright there's this girl I dated at one time for 9 months, and we broke up and didn't talk for sometime. Then we started talkIng again she made first contact. And dated again split up again, then we started talking again after she made first contact again. Dated again and everything. Then again split up. So then she started dating this other guy and we would talk thru text.they have split up and her and I are hanging out again and talking about dating if I change. I get jealous like u wouldn't believe. She has guy friends she texts and it bothers me cuz I assume she's doing something and I always need to be reassured and crap. She says she wants to be with me,but I'm not sure she really does. But then if I didn't mean anything to her she wouldn't talk to me or hang out with me? Is she playing me? As much as I want a camaro I would easily give up the camaro to be with her. This girl is and means the world to me?

Ted Williams

Sir, I just got done reading this whole thread, and I've got to tell you, I feel horrible for you! Normally I'd spend all night long trying to write you something that you could really hang your hat on, but I just don't the have the time or the desire to do this tonight...for that I do apologize!

Long story short, you need to walk away from her and not look back!!!! If this gal wanted you and you alone, she never would be doing anything that would make you agonize, question, and distrust her like you do!

If you're determined to make something work with her, then you two have to be able to talk...and I mean REALLY TALK!!!! And in this particular situation that you've laid out, you need to clearly articulate not only what bothers you, but also to the depths in which it does!

If she is unwilling to take the time to talk about this fully and in all aspects...in it's totality, then walk away!

If she is unwilling to attempt to see things from your perspective, then walk away!

If that criteria is met, and she is still unwilling to do what she must make you know...not just believe, but KNOW that you are the One and Only Man in Her Life, then for your own peace of mind, you need to forget about her...COMPLETELY!!!! It'll be easier said that done, but done it must be!!!!

A Man must know he can trust his Woman...period!!!! He's got to be able to take her word as gospel in all things...there is no room for even the slightest doubt! Trust and Truth are everything, and if you don't have them, you'll never find true contentment in order to make the relationship grow and prosper! You simply can not spend your entire life watching her every move, always wondering this or that! It will end up becoming a self fulfilling prophecy, and will destroy both of you!

In your situation, it may require her to give a lot more in the give and take area than a 50 / 50 kind of split! But if you are indeed the man she wants, she'll gladly give freely what's necessary in order to provide you with the assurance you need, in order to make the love between the two of you blossom!

The last bit of advice I'll give you has to do with a couples ability to communicate with each other. Be open and direct, both talk and listen, and don't allow embarrassment, pride, or ego to get in the way of expressing and hearing each others wants and needs!

That's not to say you shouldn't stick to your GunSS when something is important...because you should! You'll never find true security if you don't! But if both people truly have respect and love for one another...there really is no problem that can't be solved!

Good luck to you Sir...I wish you well!

6bloodychunks · 07-25-2010, 03:59 AM

i didnt read the whole thread but the sentence that got me was.........

"Well when she was with that guy after me she would hang out with me and everything and tell that guy she was at her parents"

to me that proves that she cant be truthful......

as much as it may suck to leave her..........RUN!!

bigted83 · 07-25-2010, 10:13 AM

I'm not seeking pity. I'm gonna do that leave the girl alone. It was fine for her to talk to guys and hang out with them. But not me. She's and not getting a camaro yesterday has me upset. Just if and when I get the camaro I won't have alot of money to go out and do things

bigted83 · 07-25-2010, 10:22 AM

And she was nuts anyways. And my therepist wanted her to sit in a session with us and she wouldn't do cuz I think she knows the therapist would figure out she's lying which she was.

bigted83 · 07-25-2010, 10:23 AM

I'm just gonna give up on her

tradosaurus · 07-25-2010, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigted83

And she was nuts anyways. And my therepist wanted her to sit in a session with us and she wouldn't do cuz I think she knows the therapist would figure out she's lying which she was.

I would suggest dumping your "therapist" and reading Scripture (Douay Rheims version).

rydahog · 07-25-2010, 01:13 PM

Well i am no casanova, but have had some good and bad relationships, but i feel that what you need in this case with this girl, is for you to be Secure in your Manhood..if you are unsure of that..then do not get involved with her or any woman until you are mentally ready to accept yourself and how you can accept or reject thoughts of infidelity. If you go into this with negative thoughts that she is fooling you or fooling around AKA..Playing you...then you are setting yourself up for failure. good luck..and take your time..old saying...there are plenty of fish in the sea...

Eric's Blue · 07-25-2010, 05:27 PM

There's alot more going on here than a girl.

x626xBlack · 07-26-2010, 07:37 AM

Ok Ted. This may sting again. This thread has become your new infatuation. You have the same advice from everyone here...over and over again. Time to let it go. This thread has become an extension of your relationship with her.

Let
It
ALL
Go

Or call her up and get back at it... Either way you are at a cross roads and it is time to pick a path. Right now you should be pissed that someone took you for a ride....but your not. Your still whining about her........... Before you reply. Yes. You are.

bigted83 · 07-26-2010, 08:27 AM

Yes I am pissed about her taking me for a ride, other people has told me the exact same thing u guys have. I was just two hard headed to listen. I was never like this till she left me for that guy and then her cheating on him to be with me.

07-24-2010, 10:32 PM	#113
RubyCamaro Jan Drives: 2010 Camaro 1LT Red Jewel tintcoat Join Date: May 2010 Location: Springfield, TN Posts: 16,241 View My Garage	Ever heard of Co-dependency? Comes from dysfunctional relationships. Take it from a therapist (past 25 years). You are headed there if you have not arrived. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Stop letting this one mess with your self esteem & happiness & go fishing. Better yet, just do stuff that makes YOU happy. When you do, you will likely find your perfect match just hanging around stuff you like. You seem to listen to good advice on here then find excuses not to take it. Go out & make yourself happy. __________________

07-25-2010, 05:27 PM	#124
Eric's Blue Drives: Cybergray 1SS Join Date: May 2010 Location: Temple - West GA Posts: 565	There's alot more going on here than a girl. __________________ "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's SS"

07-26-2010, 07:37 AM	#125
x626xBlack ARMY of one. Drives: 2011 Black SS/RS Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Houston Tx. from Lafayette La. Posts: 823	Ok Ted. This may sting again. This thread has become your new infatuation. You have the same advice from everyone here...over and over again. Time to let it go. This thread has become an extension of your relationship with her. Let It ALL Go Or call her up and get back at it... Either way you are at a cross roads and it is time to pick a path. Right now you should be pissed that someone took you for a ride....but your not. Your still whining about her........... Before you reply. Yes. You are. __________________ Houston's very own H-Town Camaro Club

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Question about tire sizes	Jram1588	Wheels and Tires Talk Sponsored by The Tire Rack	9	07-17-2010 08:27 AM
Custom wheel offset question ...	Bowtie Junkman	Wheels and Tires Talk Sponsored by The Tire Rack	4	04-23-2010 06:16 PM
Question Involving 4.10 gears & Bushings	Deric884	V8 and V6 Transmissions / Driveline (6L80 / 6L50 / TR6060 / AY6)	1	02-13-2010 07:53 AM

07-25-2010, 12:08 AM	#114
jordan 572 Drives: none Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: MN Posts: 1,720 View My Garage	You need

07-25-2010, 03:59 AM	#118
6bloodychunks Drives: 2011 2SS/RS SGM Join Date: May 2010 Location: uniontown,PA Posts: 787	i didnt read the whole thread but the sentence that got me was......... "Well when she was with that guy after me she would hang out with me and everything and tell that guy she was at her parents" to me that proves that she cant be truthful...... as much as it may suck to leave her..........RUN!!

07-25-2010, 10:13 AM	#119
bigted83 They call me captain slow Drives: 2010 camaro lt Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Springfield Illinois Posts: 1,241	I'm not seeking pity. I'm gonna do that leave the girl alone. It was fine for her to talk to guys and hang out with them. But not me. She's and not getting a camaro yesterday has me upset. Just if and when I get the camaro I won't have alot of money to go out and do things

07-25-2010, 10:22 AM	#120
bigted83 They call me captain slow Drives: 2010 camaro lt Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Springfield Illinois Posts: 1,241	And she was nuts anyways. And my therepist wanted her to sit in a session with us and she wouldn't do cuz I think she knows the therapist would figure out she's lying which she was.

07-25-2010, 10:23 AM	#121
bigted83 They call me captain slow Drives: 2010 camaro lt Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Springfield Illinois Posts: 1,241	I'm just gonna give up on her

07-25-2010, 01:13 PM	#123
rydahog Drives: camaro ss Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: usa Posts: 2,166 View My Garage	Well i am no casanova, but have had some good and bad relationships, but i feel that what you need in this case with this girl, is for you to be Secure in your Manhood..if you are unsure of that..then do not get involved with her or any woman until you are mentally ready to accept yourself and how you can accept or reject thoughts of infidelity. If you go into this with negative thoughts that she is fooling you or fooling around AKA..Playing you...then you are setting yourself up for failure. good luck..and take your time..old saying...there are plenty of fish in the sea...

07-26-2010, 08:27 AM	#126
bigted83 They call me captain slow Drives: 2010 camaro lt Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Springfield Illinois Posts: 1,241	Yes I am pissed about her taking me for a ride, other people has told me the exact same thing u guys have. I was just two hard headed to listen. I was never like this till she left me for that guy and then her cheating on him to be with me.