heart broken

["prima"Donna]

BTW, I never did get back together with that boyfriend that I thought I could never live without....
He eventually tried to get back together with me, because he realized his HUGE MISTAKE in 'letting me get away', and wanted to marry me, and we went on a few dates, and 'nothing'...
I liked him as a friend at that point, but since I dated a lot of different guys after him, and then went out with him again, there was no more chemistry at all...
I would never have broken up with him, so he actually did me a favor, because the guy I went out with after him, amongst others, ended up being my husband, and the Camaro is what we bought each other last year to celebrate our 30th!! wedding anniversary!!!...

[Matrix]

Originally Posted by bozbot

you are exactly right, that is pretty much what she said. the only thing i dont agree with is that i should have realized. i think if something is bothering her so bad she needs to come to me, and not wait to let it build up and then throw it in my face in a fight.

like i said im not doing it for her but if i was she is so very very very very very very worth it.

You know what, I bet if you communicated to her how much you love her and show her in simple manners how much you appreciate her she will not care that you have a Camaro (unless you are in dire financial need).

You CAN have both you just have to work on both so that she doesnt feel neglected or doesnt see a future with you. when people lose the vision/hope then deperation sets in and when people get desperate they say and do things they dont mean to say or do. Frustration sets in and when nothing is changing, someone will walk away cos they just cant take it anymore.

Its time to TALK openly to her, tell her your feelings too and that you want to work everything out with her.

Tell her how important this car is to you and that you want to work it out with her so that neither of you are stressed about it.

It could also be that she is using the car as a red herring, using it as an excuse for why things have broken down and blaming it on the car, be aware of that.

Tell her she means the world and that you want to make changes in your CIRCUMSTANCES NOT IN YOURSELF. DO NOT CHANGE YOURSELF because you will just change back. CHANGE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES and actions but be YOU!

Tell her you need her help to sort this out and if it means financially the car has to go tell her she is more important and the car will just have to go. (In all honestly, if the car has to go bro, it has to go but you can use this as leverage on brownie points for yourself.

If you dont want change then dont. Start again. But it sounds like she means the world to you so good luck and let us know how you get on.

All the best!

[Zeus]

You might want to consider selling the car, and staying at your moms.


Staying at moms = saving your money instead of throwing it away on rent.


Your friends will probably give you shit about it, but who cares. You stay there for as long as you can handle it, save up your money, and go find something you really want to do.

[bozbot]

Originally Posted by "prima"Donna

BTW, I never did get back together with that boyfriend that I thought I could never live without....
He eventually tried to get back together with me, because he realized his HUGE MISTAKE in 'letting me get away', and wanted to marry me, and we went on a few dates, and 'nothing'...
I liked him as a friend at that point, but since I dated a lot of different guys after him, and then went out with him again, there was no more chemistry at all...
I would never have broken up with him, so he actually did me a favor, because the guy I went out with after him, amongst others, ended up being my husband, and the Camaro is what we bought each other last year to celebrate our 30th!! wedding anniversary!!!...

well i guess that other guy lost out. you seem like a great person, I always see you on the boards with nothing buy nice things to say to everyone. you have a very lucky husband.

Originally Posted by Matrix

You know what, I bet if you communicated to her how much you love her and show her in simple manners how much you appreciate her she will not care that you have a Camaro (unless you are in dire financial need).

You CAN have both you just have to work on both so that she doesnt feel neglected or doesnt see a future with you. when people lose the vision/hope then deperation sets in and when people get desperate they say and do things they dont mean to say or do. Frustration sets in and when nothing is changing, someone will walk away cos they just cant take it anymore.

Its time to TALK openly to her, tell her your feelings too and that you want to work everything out with her.

Tell her how important this car is to you and that you want to work it out with her so that neither of you are stressed about it.

It could also be that she is using the car as a red herring, using it as an excuse for why things have broken down and blaming it on the car, be aware of that.

Tell her she means the world and that you want to make changes in your CIRCUMSTANCES NOT IN YOURSELF. DO NOT CHANGE YOURSELF because you will just change back. CHANGE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES and actions but be YOU!

Tell her you need her help to sort this out and if it means financially the car has to go tell her she is more important and the car will just have to go. (In all honestly, if the car has to go bro, it has to go but you can use this as leverage on brownie points for yourself.

If you dont want change then dont. Start again. But it sounds like she means the world to you so good luck and let us know how you get on.

All the best!

well, this is great advise and what I have been trying to do. talk to her calmly. it can be frustrating for me because when she gets upset to her she can do no wrong and if i try and counter some of her points it just pisses her off more. I am learning to just listen to what she has to say and not to argue every little point. sometimes she just needs to say it and then after she cools off we can work it out.

last night her and i talked for a long time about things. i was a little more level headed and in turn she was too. we will see where it goes but i am still not getting my hopes up. as many people have noted her and i took things way too fast but to kinda go in reverse now seems like it would be a bad thing (me moving out and us just dating and seeing each other as opposed to living together and seeing each other all the time)

anyone have any experience in doing this and having it work?

Originally Posted by Zeus

You might want to consider selling the car, and staying at your moms.


Staying at moms = saving your money instead of throwing it away on rent.


Your friends will probably give you shit about it, but who cares. You stay there for as long as you can handle it, save up your money, and go find something you really want to do.

this is what I will prob end up having to do for the meantime. as long as i sell my car i will be able to save up a little and try and put a dent into my student loan bills

[Zeus]

Pics or she is a man.

[bozbot]

Originally Posted by Zeus

Pics or she is a man.

damn Zues, you are persistant...

somehow i dont think her finding out i posted pictures on the interwebz without her consent while she is already mad at me is going to help things at all...just a hunch

when her and i first started talking about kids, i said i would likely have to sell the car... we made a deal that she would take pics with the car before i get rid of it....if her and i can work things out and any of the pics turn out to follow forum rulez i might post them...

patience young grasshopper

[Zeus]

Originally Posted by bozbot

damn Zues, you are persistant...

somehow i dont think her finding out i posted pictures on the interwebz without her consent while she is already mad at me is going to help things at all...just a hunch

when her and i first started talking about kids, i said i would likely have to sell the car... we made a deal that she would take pics with the car before i get rid of it....if her and i can work things out and any of the pics turn out to follow forum rulez i might post them...

patience young grasshopper

Fine. But till then, She is man.

[djsnoflake]

Your Camaro has seniority. She came after, she shouldn`t expect you to change. She knew what she was getting into. Money troubles shouldn`t make her like/love you less

[Zeus]

I will say that after seeing her complain about something like this in your mid 20's, I'd hate to be there for the fights when shes 45.

[Archangel]

I know this is very much delayed but I have to reply...I am only 24 and I had a girl I thought was awesome, well as time went on she nagged (alot, no exaggeration "you drive too aggressive...you need more pop culture knowledge...i need a guy that is taller...you're not very smart... you're fat (when i lost the weight she tried to take credit for it, saying that breaking up with me was the best thing that ever happened to me, i lost the weight cause the only i didn't think about her was when i was in the gym, she also took credit for my grades saying i wouldn't have made them without her help)...i need a guy that will make money like my investment banker father (cool guy by the way let my drive his maserati)) she was emitted for depression and visited her daily and was down right scared out of my mind because she kept talking about killing her self...after she got out i was excited and so happy..well she quit talking to me for 3 months then broke up with me over email after flirting with some pretty boy that was using her till he got back together with his girlfriend, {she first told me I smothered her (she said this because her parents took me to the mountains when she wanted to be with them alone, I had no where to go so I just hiked and ran at 6,000ft i don't even remember seeing her), then she told me she needed something new}...sucked bad, i hadn't cried in 14 years till then...then we got back to together (HUGE MISTAKE I was an idiot i know i regret it today) three months later I had enough and so decided that if she didn't like me the way i was then tough.

so now, i have a girl who would follow me anywhere, treats me with respect but doesn't roll over and submit, acknowledges my dreams, and doesn't give a rats ass about being wealthy, especially since i have been unemployed for a year, she provides constructive advise and never insults...and she cant wait for me to get the camaro (i have dated her for 2 years so the camaro didn't come into play till it was released, so it isn't the hopes of a badass car...maybe ).

Long drawn out story i know, but its like the saying goes "good things come to those who wait." and what i learned is that a good woman is not any different. I know you were crazy about her... if she kicked you to the curb then she really wasn't worth it, don't go back she will only continue to demoralize you and tell you you need to change, it hurst alot believe me i know, but sell the car and you WILL regret it for the rest of your life, my suggestion is to work you ass off, you wont have time to think about her and you will being paying for your car faster. Ok i am done i promise

[toesuf94]

Son, if she cannot handle you passions, she will stiffle you and you will not be happy the rest of your time with her. The fight came about because she wanted control and you did not give it to her. By you sticking to your guns and going the route you wanted, then she throws you out to show you who is in control - you know she does not love you for who you are.

I am not advocating a car over a woman by any means...but a person who loves you for who you are and what you love is somebody who will not try to get you to change. This is all about control. You must decide if you want to give up your rights for the rest of your life or not.

[bozbot]

Originally Posted by djsnoflake

Your Camaro has seniority. She came after, she shouldn`t expect you to change. She knew what she was getting into. Money troubles shouldn`t make her like/love you less

i brought this up and her response was that its not that she doesnt love me, she is worried about my ability to be able to provide for a family. she is worried about my financial decision making abilities.

the thing is that the camaro is the first and only horrible financial decision i have made in my life. i rate college 2nd but then again i have my job because of it.

Originally Posted by Zeus

I will say that after seeing her complain about something like this in your mid 20's, I'd hate to be there for the fights when shes 45.

women always complain, whether they are 20 , 45 or 80. its just how its all about how its handled

[Zeus]

Originally Posted by bozbot

women always complain, whether they are 20 , 45 or 80. its just how its all about how its handled

It only gets worse.

[bozbot]

Originally Posted by bozbot

last night her and i talked for a long time about things. i was a little more level headed and in turn she was too. we will see where it goes but i am still not getting my hopes up. as many people have noted her and i took things way too fast but to kinda go in reverse now seems like it would be a bad thing (me moving out and us just dating and seeing each other as opposed to living together and seeing each other all the time)

anyone have any experience in doing this and having it work?

id really like to know if anyone has ever done this...