Soon to be Wife will make a lot more money than me

[Q'smuscle]

Are you guys going to have joint accounts? Because that's the biggest thing to decide when it comes to money! I see and hear it all the time that the wife of husband took all the money out and disappeared with it! Or secretly spends it!

[CHMSC]

At least you know she is with you and marrying you because she loves you and not because of what you have or how much you make. Consider yourself lucky to find a good woman to share your life with and help out financially. I wouldn't let it bother me if anything you should feel better because it takes some of the weight off of your shoulders to make the $$$$$$ and provide.

[CHMSC]

Originally Posted by ChrisBlair

I'm going to cite human nature and mention that what's today is not forever. Things change and people chnage, and only you know if spending money on "toys" will become a subject for resentment later on. But it has happened in the past, and there is a simple solution- stop it before it became a problem. Your money's yours, her money is hers, but you have a common budget to take care of necessities that you work out and adhere to and contribute to, period. That way you are equal monetary partners and money is not a bone of contention. Ever.

Well said.

[45thCamaro]

My wife makes crap money and I do much better than she. I pay for the majority of the bills and she covers a couple things here and there. At one point my wife saw me with a box that came in the mail and was like "another car part?" But with a snooty attitude. I told her that I do not monitor what she spends her money on, so I have to explain myself what I buy either. Especially since I make almost 4x what she currently makes.

I think your biggest issue will be this: when the time comes that you want something (regardless of what it is) and you go to your wife to discuss buying, if she gives you the whole "I can't afford it right now", what is your response going to be? This goes for anyone really doesn't matter who in the relationship makes more. If you think your going to be like "well I'll use this out of my money" you might want to rethink your response. While there really is no "my money, your money" your going to have to grin and bear the fact that the person who is making more is most likely going to make the deciding factor.

Another issue is if your significant other says no, and then goes and buys something for them, how p.o. Are you going to be about it?

[RubyCamaro]

BTW. I make more $ than my husband. By choice - his. He was in a very dangerous & high stress job, making a lot more $ than me. &Then he had an opportunity to come to work for the same company I work for but in a much lower paid position & he decided to go for it. He has been there about 25 years now and very happy. I was even his boss for a few years. You will be fine.

Originally Posted by Q'smuscle

As a man it's hard too but you're right!

[Q'smuscle]

Originally Posted by 45thCamaro

My wife makes crap money and I do much better than she. I pay for the majority of the bills and she covers a couple things here and there. At one point my wife saw me with a box that came in the mail and was like "another car part?" But with a snooty attitude. I told her that I do not monitor what she spends her money on, so I have to explain myself what I buy either. Especially since I make almost 4x what she currently makes.

I think your biggest issue will be this: when the time comes that you want something (regardless of what it is) and you go to your wife to discuss buying, if she gives you the whole "I can't afford it right now", what is your response going to be? This goes for anyone really doesn't matter who in the relationship makes more. If you think your going to be like "well I'll use this out of my money" you might want to rethink your response. While there really is no "my money, your money" your going to have to grin and bear the fact that the person who is making more is most likely going to make the deciding factor.

Another issue is if your significant other says no, and then goes and buys something for them, how p.o. Are you going to be about it?

Yup ! Lol... 100 % true! Man this is very annoying and stressful sometimes!

Originally Posted by RubyCamaro

BTW. I make more $ than my husband. By choice - his. He was in a very dangerous & high stress job, making a lot more $ than me. &Then he had an opportunity to come to work for the same company I work for but in a much lower paid position & he decided to go for it. He has been there about 25 years now and very happy. I was even his boss for a few years. You will be fine.

Oh , nice! I know it wasn't easy for him but hey it's sometimes the smarter thing to do!

[Q'smuscle]

Originally Posted by 45thCamaro

My wife makes crap money and I do much better than she. I pay for the majority of the bills and she covers a couple things here and there. At one point my wife saw me with a box that came in the mail and was like "another car part?" But with a snooty attitude. I told her that I do not monitor what she spends her money on, so I have to explain myself what I buy either. Especially since I make almost 4x what she currently makes.

I think your biggest issue will be this: when the time comes that you want something (regardless of what it is) and you go to your wife to discuss buying, if she gives you the whole "I can't afford it right now", what is your response going to be? This goes for anyone really doesn't matter who in the relationship makes more. If you think your going to be like "well I'll use this out of my money" you might want to rethink your response. While there really is no "my money, your money" your going to have to grin and bear the fact that the person who is making more is most likely going to make the deciding factor.

Another issue is if your significant other says no, and then goes and buys something for them, how p.o. Are you going to be about it?

Yup ! Lol... 100 % true! Man this is very annoying and stressful sometimes!

Originally Posted by RubyCamaro

BTW. I make more $ than my husband. By choice - his. He was in a very dangerous & high stress job, making a lot more $ than me. &Then he had an opportunity to come to work for the same company I work for but in a much lower paid position & he decided to go for it. He has been there about 25 years now and very happy. I was even his boss for a few years. You will be fine.

Oh , nice! I know it wasn't easy for him but hey it's sometimes the smarter thing to do!

[mpiersd]

Originally Posted by Milk 1027

I fail to see the question here....

Same here. I have never understood this. As a man, I have absolutely no problem with a woman that makes more money than me.
And as the OP said himself, she worked harder. So now she will reap the rewards of her harder work.
Good on her!

[pickwithaustin]

Marriage creates a TEAM. A team works together and does not look to see who contributes more to the effort. Money is only one small part of a team relationship. As long as you hold up your end as a team player, there shouldn't be any question of this. Additionally, the best relationships are those where both parties have the same goals and interests. In example, your spouse should love what you do to the car as much as you do, at least to a certain degree.

[el ess A]

I don't know much, but two things I DO know...

1) A marriage shouldn't be about whether you or her make the most $.

2) NEVER look for relationship advice on a car forum.

Being in a DINK family (other than two spoiled dogs that act as surrogate kids), it has its advantages. Enjoy it while it lasts. The DINK families are seemingly rarer than you think.

[Dmpsix]

Originally Posted by el ess A

I don't know much, but two things I DO know...

2) NEVER look for relationship advice on a car forum.

Being in a DINK family (other than two spoiled dogs that act as surrogate kids), it has its advantages. Enjoy it while it lasts. The DINK families are seemingly rarer than you think.

It isn't so much the fact it was a car forum that I was looking for advice on relationships/finance but more so that the majority of people here are older and much much wiser than me.

So seeking out some advice from people who have been there, done that is reasonable for all the right reasons.

Thank you to everyone here. You guys are awesome.

[2010abmss]

I have my own business and make 6 figures but my wife is a Neuro Surgeon and makes 4 times what I make, but she doesnt mind getting me car parts!! She shares the same passion as me so Im happy regardless! We are very happy together!! Having a sugar momma is not a bad thing at all!!

[RubyCamaro]

Originally Posted by el ess A

I don't know much, but two things I DO know...

1) A marriage shouldn't be about whether you or her make the most $.

2) NEVER look for relationship advice on a car forum.

Being in a DINK family (other than two spoiled dogs that act as surrogate kids), it has its advantages. Enjoy it while it lasts. The DINK families are seemingly rarer than you think.

I tend to disagree respectfully on #2 as it relates to C5. To me this is WAY more than a car forum. I have come here to my C5 friends for guidance, support, advice, help & wisdom on virtually anything I have been facing over the last few years & have not been disappointed yet. I just love C5!

[45thAnniversary2SS]

Originally Posted by ZiG

You can pull 6 figures with a compsci degree if you bust your ass. And why shouldn't you? Just look at it as further motivation to do your job really well and make sure you are rewarded for it.



.... I... may be a workaholic.

Yes you can. I majored in CSI and I'm making around that. You don't need a masters OP.