Funny Pictures *** SAFE FOR WORK ONLY & NO POLITICS !!!*** - Page 46

AGM 1LE · 11-05-2015, 09:15 PM

I dont know if anyone here listenes to Ellis but the show today inspired me to make this...

DDoug · 11-08-2015, 09:33 PM

trashmanssd · 11-09-2015, 09:13 AM

No picture but funny,

Why Women Make Better Assassins

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were three finalists: two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her."
The man said "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife".
The agent said, "Then you are not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home".

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes, so take your wife and go home "

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband.
She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping sweat from her brow.

"The gun was loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to kill him with the chair. "

trashmanssd · 11-10-2015, 10:02 AM

Normagene · 11-10-2015, 10:53 AM

Hahahahehehe...... That's a good one ^

MLL67RSSS · 11-10-2015, 12:22 PM

.

ZED SLED · 11-10-2015, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trashmanssd

Had to get one of those exams once. Didn't seem to be going too bad until I looked down and realized the doctor had both hands on my shoulders.

ZED SLED · 11-10-2015, 12:38 PM

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up.

One is a good looking older man in his mid-sixties and the other is a
gorgeous, dark-skinned, brunette in her mid-twenties.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one
ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer, so you guys better be good or you're
history. Here's your equipment: chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"

The girl says, "I'll go first."

She walks past the chair, the whip, and the gun and steps right into the
lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her.
About half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked
body.

The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts
licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body
for several minutes, and then rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a
display like that in my life." He then turns to the older man and asks, "Can
you top that?"

The older man replies, "No problem, just get that damn lion out of the way."

Ragnar · 11-10-2015, 02:42 PM

Nice touch!

frankzlt1 · 11-11-2015, 07:13 PM

Because racecar lol^^

davethewave62 · 11-11-2015, 07:51 PM

May the force be with ya ...

molsonbrador · 11-12-2015, 07:58 AM

better.

PoorMansCamaro · 11-12-2015, 12:11 PM

Retro69 · 11-12-2015, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PoorMansCamaro

That's perfect!

11-05-2015, 09:15 PM	#631
AGM 1LE Drives: 14 SS/ 1LE Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: parts unknown Posts: 937	I dont know if anyone here listenes to Ellis but the show today inspired me to make this... __________________ 2014 1SS/1LE AGP 57/57s, E85 + meth injection, Monster triple, ZL1 diff swap, Z28 coilovers

11-08-2015, 09:33 PM	#632
DDoug Drives: '13 Inferno Orange ZL1 Convertible Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: The 313 Posts: 437	__________________

11-10-2015, 12:22 PM	#636
MLL67RSSS Account Suspended Drives: car Join Date: May 2008 Location: location Posts: 1,569	. Attached Images

11-10-2015, 12:38 PM	#638
ZED SLED Drives: 2017 Mosaic Bk ZL1 M6 Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: South of Raleigh, NC Posts: 9,614 View My Garage	The Lion Tamer A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking older man in his mid-sixties and the other is a gorgeous, dark-skinned, brunette in her mid-twenties. The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer, so you guys better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment: chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?" The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip, and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes, and then rests his head at her feet. The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the older man and asks, "Can you top that?" The older man replies, "No problem, just get that damn lion out of the way." __________________

11-10-2015, 02:42 PM	#639
Ragnar Destroyed by flooding Drives: Wife's car Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: Louisiana Posts: 4,672	Nice touch! Attached Images __________________

11-09-2015, 09:13 AM	#633
trashmanssd Drives: Black 14 2SS/1LE/RS 14 Tundra Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Plymouth, Ma Posts: 2,414	No picture but funny, Why Women Make Better Assassins The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were three finalists: two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her." The man said "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife". The agent said, "Then you are not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home". The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes, so take your wife and go home " Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping sweat from her brow. "The gun was loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to kill him with the chair. "

11-10-2015, 10:02 AM	#634
trashmanssd Drives: Black 14 2SS/1LE/RS 14 Tundra Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Plymouth, Ma Posts: 2,414

11-10-2015, 10:53 AM	#635
Normagene Drives: 2013 Ashen Gray M6 ZL1 Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: South Eastern, Mass Posts: 2,615 View My Garage	Hahahahehehe...... That's a good one ^

11-11-2015, 07:13 PM	#640
frankzlt1 Drives: 1996 ss camaro #1762 Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Beacon Falls Ct Posts: 78	Because racecar lol^^

11-11-2015, 07:51 PM	#641
davethewave62 Drives: 2013 2LT/RS Join Date: Sep 2015 Location: Cocoa Beach Florida Posts: 70	Future Trooper Car May the force be with ya ... Attached Images __________________ If it was EASY, anyone could do it.

11-12-2015, 07:58 AM	#642
molsonbrador Drives: 2010 Camaro SS, 2018 Colorado Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC Posts: 2,207	better. Attached Images

11-12-2015, 12:11 PM	#643
PoorMansCamaro Drives: Really Slow Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: PA Posts: 57,197	__________________