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11-02-2015, 10:20 AM
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#617 |
                
Drives: Really Slow Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: PA
Posts: 57,201
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11-02-2015, 02:42 PM
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#618 |
 
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The moral of the story, be careful what you ask for.
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11-03-2015, 11:40 AM
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#619 |
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Account Suspended
Drives: 2012 Shelby GT500 Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Tulsa
Posts: 106
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AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST.
AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER S...TEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, "HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?" THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO,... I NEVER DID DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO." A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID "WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET. THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR -- NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF --STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON. THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS. THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR, AND THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS. THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A MULE'S ASS?" THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO M'AM... BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO. THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US: 1 - Never be arrogant. 2 - Don't waste ammunition. 3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are. 4 - Always make sure you know who has the power. 5 - Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid. |
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11-03-2015, 06:25 PM
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#620 |
Drives: the 2nd amendment home Join Date: May 2008
Location: OK
Posts: 14,763
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P-shop trolls are hilarious!
 
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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
-- Benjamin Franklin lib·er·ty /ˈlibərdē/ noun 1. the state of being free within society from oppressive restrictions imposed by authority on one's way of life, behavior, or political views |
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11-04-2015, 06:03 AM
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#621 |
Drives: Black 14 2SS/1LE/RS 14 Tundra Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Plymouth, Ma
Posts: 2,414
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11-04-2015, 06:41 AM
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#622 |
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Drives: Black 14 2SS/1LE/RS 14 Tundra Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Plymouth, Ma
Posts: 2,414
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11-04-2015, 06:50 AM
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#623 |
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Drives: Black 14 2SS/1LE/RS 14 Tundra Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Plymouth, Ma
Posts: 2,414
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11-04-2015, 07:10 AM
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#624 |
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Master of All Things
Drives: '26 Corvette Stingray Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Southeast of Houston, Texas
Posts: 22,689
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11-04-2015, 07:11 AM
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#625 |
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Master of All Things
Drives: '26 Corvette Stingray Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Southeast of Houston, Texas
Posts: 22,689
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11-04-2015, 07:26 AM
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#626 |
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AKA "Beefcake"
Drives: 2023 ZL1 Sharkskin Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Indy
Posts: 8,569
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mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm nice Fun Box.
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11-04-2015, 11:00 AM
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#627 | |
Drives: 2017 Mosaic Bk ZL1 M6 Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: South of Raleigh, NC
Posts: 9,615
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Quote:
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11-04-2015, 11:01 AM
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#628 |
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Drives: 2017 Mosaic Bk ZL1 M6 Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: South of Raleigh, NC
Posts: 9,615
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Mickey Mouse
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11-05-2015, 07:26 AM
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#629 |
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Master of All Things
Drives: '26 Corvette Stingray Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Southeast of Houston, Texas
Posts: 22,689
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11-05-2015, 03:28 PM
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#630 |
Drives: '14 Z51 3LT Stingray and '13 Cruze Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: US of A
Posts: 1,346
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"We have a mental health problem disguised as a gun problem, and a tyranny problem disguised as a security problem."
"What is a moderate interpretation of the text? Halfway between what it really means and what you'd like it to mean?" -Antonin Scalia |
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