Joke tellin' page

[hot_rod]

.....
Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling, bouncing up and down, and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.


At a news conference, after announcing the invention, a large group of men took Dr. Rickson outside and kicked the shit out of him.

[Big Brunsy]

In a brief statemnet today, Deanna Favre said "those messages he sent were actually intended for me. But you know Brett, they were intercepted"

[WOLFINN_2SS]

Did ya hear about the Texas Aggie that moved to Oklahoma?

Yeap.. increased the IQ in both states.

Hook 'em Horns! lol

[Tessa]

A traveling salesman goes to a farm house. The farmer goes, 'I could put you up for one night, but you'll have to stay in the barn.' So he spends the night there and the next morning the farmer comes in, he goes, 'Were you comfortable?' He goes, 'I had a great time; I talked to all the animals.' He goes, 'You talked to the animals?' He goes, 'Yeah I spoke to the chickens, they say you collect the eggs every morning exactly at five minutes after six.' He goes, 'That's exactly right.' He says, 'The horse tells me his name is Otis, you've owned him for 10 years.' He goes, 'That's incredible.' And he goes, 'I spoke to the cow, the cow says that her name is Elsie and you milk her every morning at exactly 8:30. And then I spoke to the sheep.' And the farmer goes, 'Those sheep are lying.'

[mth35115]

Little Johnny had to pee and ran into the bathroom just as his mother was getting out of the shower. He looked at his mother's pubic hair and asked whats that. His mother not knowing what say, said its my sponge. Happy with the answer he runs back outside.
Several days later johnny catches his mother again, but she has shaven herself clean. He asks what happened to her sponge. She says she lost it. He goes back to play.
Two days later Johnny runs into the house to tell his mother he found her sponge, Mrs. Johnson has it next door and shes washing daddies face with it.

[vincewalthers]

Originally Posted by mth35115

Little Johnny had to pee and ran into the bathroom just as his mother was getting out of the shower. He looked at his mother's pubic hair and asked whats that. His mother not knowing what say, said its my sponge. Happy with the answer he runs back outside.
Several days later johnny catches his mother again, but she has shaven herself clean. He asks what happened to her sponge. She says she lost it. He goes back to play.
Two days later Johnny runs into the house to tell his mother he found her sponge, Mrs. Johnson has it next door and shes washing daddies face with it.

ROFLMAO!!!!!

[Iwantone2]

Originally Posted by mth35115

Little Johnny had to pee and ran into the bathroom just as his mother was getting out of the shower. He looked at his mother's pubic hair and asked whats that. His mother not knowing what say, said its my sponge. Happy with the answer he runs back outside.
Several days later johnny catches his mother again, but she has shaven herself clean. He asks what happened to her sponge. She says she lost it. He goes back to play.
Two days later Johnny runs into the house to tell his mother he found her sponge, Mrs. Johnson has it next door and shes washing daddies face with it.

That's awesome!!!

[2010SSRSM6]

ahhhh, you can never go wrong with a "little Johnny" joke.

[hot_rod]

Man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. So he walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment. After they've had their fun, he realizes its 3AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to kill me. Have you got any talcum powder?" She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he goes home.

His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty ticked off. "Where have you been?!?!"

"Well, honey, its like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking chick there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her."

"Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!"

She sees his hands are covered with powder and... "You liar!!! You went bowling again!!!"

[Dave Coyle]

A young boy is walking around in the walmart store lost from his grandfather when a clerk asks if he is O.K. The little boy said, "Yes but I have lost my Grandpa." The clerk said, "I'll help you find him, what's he like?" The little boy thought for a moment and then said, "Women with big tits and Wiskey!"

[Iwantone2]

Not sure if it's a repost...but here goes my simple blonde joke attempt:

Two blonde's are in an elevator. The elevator stops, the doors open and a man walks in and smiles at both of them. He turns towards the elevator door with both blondes behind him. One of the blondes notices dandruff on the man's coat and whispers to the other blonde, "We should give him some Head and Shoulders..."

The second blonde looks confused and replies to the first blonde, "I know about head, but how do you give shoulders?"

[Big Brunsy]

Once upon a time a prince asked a beautiful princess "will you marry me?"
The Princess said "NO"
And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing, and hunting, and played golf, and dated women half his age, and drank beer and scotch, and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.

The End

[Scrapppy666]

Something I came across...


"I found this in my mom's drawer, it even shivers like he's cold!"

[Z28RockStar]

Why do blondes get confused in the restroom?

They have to pull their own pants down.

:P