Marriage Proposal or Car...my lil rant

[LuckyWife]

I just got married 4 months ago, and I didn't want the traditional solitaire/princess cut, etc. I play sports & coach...I'd go nuts if I lost the rock. I wanted something low profile, but still blingy.

1st ring is what he proposed with.


I actually bought mine from craigslist. She had the original paperwork, met her @ the original jewelers & had it appraised. Original cost $2k, my purchase price $450. Wedding didn't happen & she wanted to get rid of them. I'm not superstitious, so it was more money I could use for the wedding/honeymoon.


(sorry pics are blurry)

It all depends on your girl & what's important to her. Good Luck!

[Michelle42780]

Originally Posted by prostock69

I have a simple solution: Buy a 14k gold Cubic Zirconia ring and elope OR have a small ceremony with ONLY close family invited. No one will know the difference about the ring not being a diamond. Diamonds are marked up ridiculously anyways.

I have a CZ engagement ring because I refused to let him buy me a real one. I get comments from time to time on how nice and big my ring is (2.5-karats). I always say, yes, he spent a chunk of dough on it. Then I laugh because it only cost $75.00! I don't need an expensive ring to know he loves me. He shows me in other ways by buying me a CAMARO!!! Now THAT is better than any ring!

This!

I've told my BF "I don't care if the diamonds are real, I only care that the metal they're set in is real." Mostly because I don't feel the need for a real diamond and we could always upgrade to the real thing later on if we wanted. We don't exactly plan on getting married or even engaged right now, but I like to let him know, just in case. I would much prefer a nice "rock" on my finger that's not real but looks real, than have $15K on my left hand that I have to stay paranoid about. Most people don't know the difference.

So it really depends on your girl, if she's picky about having something real that breaks you or having something that looks equally (or better) than the real thing. That's something that you'll need to gauge for yourself I guess. Personally, I'm going to be kind of picky about what ring I want, I don't want a "surprise" ring. But that's just me.

[Syn3rgy]

Originally Posted by UT-Enginner

Just wanted to get my fellow C5 member's opinions/thoughts/advice. I've had my car for a little over 3 months now and I love it. It has not even crossed my once to trade it or ever get rid of it! .... Until today ... for the first time It actually came to my head how expensive a marriage proposal (and the things that come with it) can be. As I was pricing engagement rings online all I can think was !!! There goes 4 to 5 months of car payments. I dont think I can go that long with out my Camaro. I didn't plan on proposing to my GF when I made the deal on the car but maybe I should have put the car off just a bit longer. I guess you can't have everything you want right??? well at least not all at once.

For those that are married, what is a good range that you should spend on an engagement ring?

Well, as i continue to ponder on my situation, I'm going to do everything possible to have both. If I had tons of money to blow this obviously wouldnt be an issue but the car payment is just one of a list of bills I have.

Any thoughts? lol

LOL! Look, this is my thought...keep the car! I also own a Synergy, and as a woman, prefer it over diamonds. If you decide to ditch the car for the wife, however; get in touch with me--I have a 2-car garage! LOL

[camaroluver]

My husband and I have been married 12 yrs as of this coming Sunday (6/27) and my ring probably set us back $1,000 when he bought it back then. It is nothing big and fancy but what was affordable at the time. My Camaro was my anniversary present last year and is better than any ring ever to me!

[PQ]

Originally Posted by UT-Enginner

I just want to give her the proposal, wedding, ceremony, and marriage she deserves.

Weddings are for women. Bonnies parents gave us a wedding back in 92' and they paid over 6k for it. So we didn't start out in debt. BUT. We GOT into debt fairly quickly. We wouldn't have if her dad had HIS way. He wanted to give us a small wedding and 6k as a gift. Her mom prefered the wedding. What an enormous waste of money.

Proposal, cost nothing.
Wedding, can be cheap.
Ceremony, ?
Marriage, start out in serious debt. Not fair.

It's simple to me.

I've been asked the question "How did you luck out and get a wife who doesn't like diamonds?"
My answer:
I didn't. I woulnd't have married her if all that was so important.

[UT-Engineer]

Originally Posted by Syn3rgy

LOL! Look, this is my thought...keep the car! I also own a Synergy, and as a woman, prefer it over diamonds. If you decide to ditch the car for the wife, however; get in touch with me--I have a 2-car garage! LOL

lol. i doubt im gonna have to resort to ditching the car. Im just going to have to work around my finances and bills to get her a nice ring.

Thanks for the other comments on this thread guys.

[Tessa]

I got a gorgeous rock from my finace (due largely in part to his parents providing the center stone) and let me tell you - a nice rock is NOT worth the trade for a douchebag husband!
If she loves you it doesn't matter if the rock is huge, fake, or a semi-precious stone. You can get HELLA nice lab created stones cheap that are good size and look real. (I know, I buy myself enough )
There are also really beautiful rings at stores like Zales and Kay's that are under 3k.

Don't trade the car for a ring at all - I agree that you'd regret it and that would ruin the whole purpose of proposing.

There may be some women that need huge exepnsive rocks - but frankly, I think your love for her (and hers for you) is far more important then a stone. Get her something you see that reminds you of her - her style, her sparkle and who cares if it only cost a few hundred vs a few thousand.
(again I pimp the lab created stones - they are just good as the real sht - in fact, better b/c they are PERFECT and they have so many more choices available...)

[Tessa]

Oh but if you want to spend 10 grand I have a fcking AWESOME quality set
LOL

[NoUCantDriveIt]

Originally Posted by gahammerle

Of course, that's if you play by other's rules. If she is worried that you didn't spend the proper amount on the ring, I think you're gonna have more problems down the road.

It's the thought that counts.

Originally Posted by UT-Enginner

Wow, Well first of all, I'm glad to know there still are married couples out there b/c yes u do have a valid point.... but i definatly dont plan on getting divorced to my future fiance/wife. And i know money isnt everything but i want to make sure what I get her is a reflection of my love for her. I admire how you can take the CZ and Camaro lol, instead of a 2K diamond and No camaro. All the same, I just want to give her the proposal, wedding, ceremony, and marriage she deserves.

Nothing you can buy will do that. What you give of yourself, is your reflection of your love for her.

As for "the ring"... just because a ton of money is spent on commercials saying it has to be a diamond doesn't make it true. Why not a Ruby, Emerald, Sapphire, etc.? Mayyybe, you knowing what her favorite is, would mean more than "just another diamond" ring.

[Dmundz]

Lol tell her she can ride in the car whenever she wants and maybe she can drive it once a month :p jk

But ya I have heard 1-3 months wages but that's the rule the jewelers came up with I think 1 months wage is more then reasonable. And really if you are in love unless she is some greedy woman she will respect and cherish whatever you decide to buy. Becaus it should he the thought and feelings that count not the dollar value.


IMO

[2001ragtop]

the "standard" rate is 3 months salary.

But seriously if she wants to marry you she will take just a wedding band.

or an $800.00 ring from Macy's. (which is what I did).

later i tried to buy my spouse a ring that was extremely expensive and she said AFTER we first buy a house.

DO NOT SELL YOUR CAR for any reason.

IF a girl wants you that bad, this will be a non-issue.

ALWAYS pick the girl who follows YOU around even if you are broke and have nothing. thats the one you pick or marry.

If money, or an expensive ring is the problem you have your red flag right there.

IF SHE can't live without you, a diamond should have NOTHING to do with it.

adios

[wylde1]

it's not a ring unless it has a WHISTLE!!! haha

My lady and I have been engaged a little over a year now, just starting to plan out the wedding. We've been together for 7 though so there's no rush haha

I spent about $2200 and did ALOT of searching around for the one I ended up getting. You can get something REALLY nice at a reasonable price if you're willing to get the diamond and band separately. The biggest thing is to poke around and find out what her tastes are. I know Candice prefers white gold, so I ended up with a white gold band and 3 smaller diamonds on it rather than the big solitare. Also the cut makes a big difference in how it looks as well. She LOVES glittery, and shiny, so i picked round cut diamonds because they have more facets and reflect the light alot more than other cuts. when that thing is clean it'll friggin blind you haha, but the rocks aren't that big (I think the total weight is 1.5 ct or so)

I only spent that much money beause I found something that checked all the boxes, and my situation allowed me to spend that kind of money. I don't buy her alot of gifts (and vise versa). So when I do I take my time and make sure they count! I would have bought that exact ring if it was $80, because it was exactly what I knew she would pick. She cried every time she looked at it for the whole day.

the thought far outweighs the dollar value. and if it doesn't, you might save yourself some trouble by re-evaluating.

[brooksware2000]

What's more important to the both of you, the cost of the wedding/ring or the end result of the two of you together?

It kills me as to why so many people look to spend a lot of money up front on a wedding/ring when it will or could put them in the poor house. Being newly married and broke is a bad mix and have led many couples to divorce within years of getting married.

I have been married for 14 years and my wife and I were broke (not because of the wedding or rings). It was more important that we be together so, we purchased a cheaper his and hers ring set for about $600. later, when we had more money, we purchased a better set on one of our anniversaries.

If you give up your car you may regret it and her later. If you have to consider getting rid of your car to get married then, you're probably going to struggle to support a family.

[jokerswild]

I found out too late, but my wife would have actually preferred a synthetic diamond (look it up, it is NOT cubic zirconia) to the cost of a real diamond. Better quality, better clarity, no imperfections, and less than 1/10th the cost.

Also, if you're looking at platinum, take a glance towards pallidium. It's in the platinum family, can be soldered together with platinum, wears the same, etc.. and costs 25-50% less.

Ultimately though, it's up to what the woman wants... if she wants to wear $1000-6000 worth of slave labor from Africa as a piece of jewelry, that's the price you pay for a happy wife!