Loveline Thread

[vinman]

Originally Posted by Ark5thGenGirl

Since we seem to have a few of these questions pop up I figured I'd start a loveline thread just for skits and giggles. Maybe no one will use it, but I will start it off with a pretty serious question.

I was going to ask this question in a new thread earlier but refrained. Have any of you ever just been head over heels for someone that's pretty much your best friend? Or at least, that's how this person views you (in my case with mine, benefits and cuddling have been involved). I'm having this issue and I don't know how to resolve it because he has a lot of female friends and he has talked to me about how sick he is of these girls befriending him then trying to hook up with him or saying they're in love/want to date him/whatever. I don't want to be that girl, so I smile and nod and take what I can get and listen to his problems and all that-- but some days it just KILLS me. Anyone been there? Is there any kind of positive outcome for this? I generally don't believe in fairy tales.

Not worth the heartache sweetie, you can't make a new first impression

[Jamie Mac]

If you really love him then what are you waiting for? Tell him. If it's not there then it's time to move on. Not to be rude but one way to look at it is sex without an emotional bond is just masterbation. If one of your friends just started doing it in front of you how would you feel? Hard spot to be if your in love and hes just...

[ROBOSSRS]

Originally Posted by Brokinarrow

I'll say this.... most of us guys DO NOT GET subtle little hints and messages that you ladies think are obvious signs. If you want us, TELL US in plain English

I agree 100%. In my younger days there were several young ladies over the years that had an interest in me. I was just too naive to notice.

[Ladybugsmom]

I had a friend like that in college. Spilled the beans about how I really felt to some girlfriends of mine, and a week later, one of them made the move on him. Destroyed all of our friendships, and they only lasted a couple of years...
Just be happy being friends...

[Ant32894]

Coming from a young guy here (17, yes 17 lol), relationships are so hard. I'm real mature for my age, most people think I am in my 20's. Most girls are too immature for my taste and it kind of sucks. Better off being friends. It works out that way...

[helmincamaro]

best friend's younger sister?


or how about an ex-gf's younger sister...... I've had both come after me

[CAPT D]

Originally Posted by Ant32894

Coming from a young guy here (17, yes 17 lol), relationships are so hard. I'm real mature for my age, most people think I am in my 20's. Most girls are too immature for my taste and it kind of sucks. Better off being friends. It works out that way...

Are you serious? Relationships are not hard unless you let them become hard. Look no matter how mature you think you are your still young and usally every relationship your going to have at that age is going to be hard. I wouldnt make a sweeping generalization about relationships until you get older.

[insidethreat07]

Originally Posted by Brokinarrow

I'll say this.... most of us guys DO NOT GET subtle little hints and messages that you ladies think are obvious signs. If you want us, TELL US in plain English

[midnighter]

Oh, that was some time ago, I wonder where Andrea is today.

[SDubATC]

Originally Posted by Ark5thGenGirl

Since we seem to have a few of these questions pop up I figured I'd start a loveline thread just for skits and giggles. Maybe no one will use it, but I will start it off with a pretty serious question.

I was going to ask this question in a new thread earlier but refrained. Have any of you ever just been head over heels for someone that's pretty much your best friend? Or at least, that's how this person views you (in my case with mine, benefits and cuddling have been involved). I'm having this issue and I don't know how to resolve it because he has a lot of female friends and he has talked to me about how sick he is of these girls befriending him then trying to hook up with him or saying they're in love/want to date him/whatever. I don't want to be that girl, so I smile and nod and take what I can get and listen to his problems and all that-- but some days it just KILLS me. Anyone been there? Is there any kind of positive outcome for this? I generally don't believe in fairy tales.

Here's my two cents: First, you two are doing the "friends with benefits" thing. Are you the only one he's doing that with? You said he complains about girls befriending him and trying to hook up with him. He's not letting them do it, but he's letting you. Maybe that's a sign he's interested, but don't quote me on that. Second, is he really rejecting all these girls that he says he is? Or is he just saying that as a way to make you aware he's hoping you don't try and make a move? Have you actually seen it? And to actually answer your original question, yes, I've been in love with my best friend. Sadly, she only thinks of me as just that. It sucks, but I moved on. I wish you the best of luck with your situation though!

[Taintedveins]

Distance yourself from him and see what he is missing you, or your "Benefits". It seems crude but I have done this several times and it got me out of a lot of problems.

[Hot Tamales]

I think he's very comfortable with the way things are between you two right now. I mean, you're obviously a nice, sweet girl who drives a Camaro and leaves his twinkie stinky on occasion so yeah what guy wouldn't like that? In his mind there's no reason to take things any further because he's getting most of his needs met without the commitment (WIN!!). So, I say tell the guy what's on your mind and in your heart and leave the ball in his court. The worst that can happen is that you lose his friendship, but at least you'll have gotten it off your chest and you can move on with your life.

[PoorMansCamaro]

Originally Posted by Stingr69

My first thought was - Move on girl. It sounds like a train wreck just waiting to happen.

My second thought - You might as well just come out a tell the guy. That way you can get his side of it. Either way, you get progress. Simple really.

Hope this helps,

-Mark.

This is pretty much spot on. Communication is key in any and all relationships, whether friends or steady relationship. If you are really head over heels for this guy, you need to let him know. A couple of things could happen, he has the same feelings and you live happily ever after, or he says he doesn't feel the same way and doesn't want to complicate things. At this point you can either stick with friends with benefits, and/or move on to better things. Either way, you have moved off the 3 W's, "waiting/wondering/what could have been" stage.

[heRS]

There's a book out called "He's Just Not That Into You". Basically (and this is true), if the guy IS into you, he's INTO you. Just friends is just that, Just Friends. He might go along with the "freinifits" relationship, but it will be just that. IF he was that into you, he would be making the quantum leap to land you as soon as you told the other guy to get lost.

Dennis and I used to work together, and me and my guy and him and his girl were couple-friends, we'd go out together as a group and so on. When I broke it off with my guy after 4 years, Dennis waited about a week (to find himself a new house), and left his girlfriend on the off chance that I would go out with him. 30 years later, we've had our ups and downs, even split up for 8 years (I kicked him out due to a bad habit) but got back together 6 years ago. His words: "I dated a lot of women trying to forget about you, but none of them were you." He's that into me.

Having a crush on a guy can be killer. They can soooo take advantage of your emotions and just get laid while you fall in love. Hold out for the guy who IS that into you Arkie-girl! He's out there.