Funny

[Lumina SS]

no it's ok zebra i'm just joking with you

[CamaroSpike23]

Originally Posted by tjbusa

thats one thing that kinda pissed me off about that. not that first class got to stand in an inflateable slide. but the fact that they opened the forward doors to begin with. that model of plane (and it clearly shows a picture in the little book that they tell you to look at before departing) is not made to have the forward doors opened during a water landing. cus what happens? water gets into the flight compartment, and starts heading to the back, which then adds to the weight of the rear which can cause the plane to tip suddenly and violently backwards.





but for my funny story....


The Generosity Of College Kids


A couple college kids, Stan and Ryan, are riding to school on a Chicago subway train when a homeless man approaches and begs for spare change. Stan adamantly rejects the man in disgust while Ryan, on the other hand, pulls out his wallet and gives the man two dollars and wishes him the best.

The homeless man thanks Ryan kindly and then continues on to the other passengers. Stan is outraged by his friend’s act of generosity. “What the heck did you do that?” shouts Stan. “You know he’s probablyonly gonna use it for drugs or booze!”

Ryan replies, “And we weren’t?”

[theholycow]

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly
dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars
for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked:
"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" the man asked.

"No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get
just to stay alive."


"Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?"
the man asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20
years!"

"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of
food?" the man asked.

"What are you kiddin' and catch a disease for ten lousy bucks?!!"
exclaimed the homeless man.

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money.
Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my
wife."

The homeless man was astounded. " Won't your wife be furious with you for
doing that?" I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The man replied, "That's okay. I just want her to see what a man looks
like who's given up beer, gambling, golf, and sex".

[zebra]

[tjbusa]

Nothing like gracefully sliding in at home plate.

[Mr Twisty]

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly:

'I have something I must confess.'

'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.

'No,' he insisted,

'I want to die in peace.

I slept with your sister, your best friend,

her best friend, and your mother!'

'I know,' she replied,

'now just rest and let the poison work.'

[tjbusa]

A manager of a company is seeing his secretary, she comes in one morning and tells him she is pregnant.

Not knowing what to do, he pays her 5000 dollars to leave and goto Italy and have the child.

She asks how she will tell him the child is born, he replies saying that she should send a postcard to him with spaghetti written on it.

six months later he gets a cal from his wife telling him he has a postcard with a funny message waiting for him.

He tells his wife he will explain all when he gets home

He returns home, and reads the postcard, then falls flat on his back out cold paramedics arrive and annouce he has had a heart attack.

they ask the wife what happened, she told them he read the postcard, which had written on it




spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, 2 with meat balls, 2 without

[Lumina SS]

there is one stupid girl that had heard a wife saying to her husband on the street i'm pregnant so he became very happey so when she get marrid that stupid girl when she just enter the room with her husband and it was the first time to them so she sad to him i'm pregnant so she think that well make him happey.

[zebra]

Originally Posted by Lumina SS

there is one stupid girl that had heard a wife saying to her husband on the street i'm pregnant so he became very happey so when she get marrid that stupid girl when she just enter the room with her husband and it was the first time to them so she sad to him i'm pregnant so she think that well make him happey.

sorry, but that's about like trying to read leatherneck's posts (or boomber when he's drunk)


edit: after reading it a few more times, i get what you're saying & it's a little funnier

[Lumina SS]

Originally Posted by zebra

sorry, but that's about like trying to read leatherneck's posts (or boomber when he's drunk)


edit: after reading it a few more times, i get what you're saying & it's a little funnier

my language is not english it's arabic so excusme for not wrighting very well

[Lumina SS]

Zebra it's hard not to find you in every thread

[zebra]

Originally Posted by Lumina SS

my language is not english it's arabic so excusme for not wrighting very well

i know. just giving you crap!

Originally Posted by Lumina SS

zebra it's hard not to find you in every thread

while i'm still looking for a job, i'v got a lot of free time

[a6pk2go]

I just glad I have a job. Zebra keeps it interesting at times.



Edit: I would have left a joke or two but I didn't want to get banned. I can't think of any clean ones at this time.

[theholycow]

Originally Posted by Lumina SS

there is one stupid girl that had heard a wife saying to her husband on the street i'm pregnant so he became very happey so when she get marrid that stupid girl when she just enter the room with her husband and it was the first time to them so she sad to him i'm pregnant so she think that well make him happey.

Ok, re-written so that it can be understood:
A stupid girl is walking down the street and hears a wife tell her husband "I'm pregnant". The husband looks really happy. So, when the stupid girl gets married, she wants to make her new husband happy. She enters the room with her husband for the first time, and bursts out "I'm pregnant!".