Prom Night

Steve Dallas · 09-12-2012, 05:19 PM

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.

Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.

Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

CamaroSkooter · 09-12-2012, 05:24 PM

SSTG · 09-12-2012, 05:40 PM

LOL.

BowtieBelle · 09-12-2012, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CamaroSkooter

+1

*GTAHVIT* · 09-12-2012, 05:43 PM

I... I just....

hate you.

Steve Dallas · 09-12-2012, 05:47 PM

Well, I deserve the facepalm for that one. OK, here's another one that my dad told me many years ago. (note that the original joke had the man as being Polish. I'm almost certain I'm of Polish ancestry, being that my Grandfather's last name ended with ...sky.

A man walked into a pet shop, and was looking at the birds. He saw a very colorful parrot, and asked the store owner about it. It was a great bird, but it cost over 3000 bucks. The man couldn't afford that, and asked if there was anything else he could get.

The store owner showed him another bird that only cost 100 bucks. The store owner explained that the bird was perfect, except his beak was 1 millimeter to long. The guy said he was a mechanic and could easily file that long beak to make it look perfect. The store owner warned him that he couldn't file more than 1 millimeter off the beak, otherwise he'd hit the Tetse nerve and it would die.

The next day, the man walked into the store, looking very sad. The store owner said, "I did warn you not to file more than 1mm off the beak. What happened?". The man replied, "I crushed his head in the vice".

Mysteek · 09-12-2012, 05:49 PM

atver22 · 09-12-2012, 06:10 PM

I want those 30 seconds of my life back.

Dznts · 09-12-2012, 06:13 PM

Lol

Steve Dallas · 09-12-2012, 06:36 PM

C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors," and E-flat leaves. C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me, I'll just be a second."

A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor and sends him out. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and shouts, "Get out now. You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

Next night, E-flat, not easily deflated, comes into the bar in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says: "You're looking pretty sharp tonight. Come on in. This could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat takes off his suit and everything else and stands there au naturel.

Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before, begins to sober up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to the diminution of a minor and sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale correctional facility. The conviction is overturned on appeal, however, and C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest and closes the bar.

CamaroSkooter · 09-12-2012, 06:43 PM

wow...

SSTG · 09-12-2012, 06:51 PM

Now the last one deserves a face palm,lol.

Steve Dallas · 09-12-2012, 06:52 PM

An engineer dies and goes to hell. He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The moving walkway motor jammed, so he unjams it. People can get from place to place more easily. The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to the Satellite dish and now they get hundreds of high def channels, although they still cannot watch Breaking Bad on AMC.
One day, God decides to look down on Hell to see how his grand design is working out and notices that everyone is happy and enjoying umbrella drinks. He asks the Devil what's up?
The Devil says, "Things are great down here since you sent us an engineer."
"What?" says God. "An engineer? I didn't send you one of those. That must have been a mistake. Send him upstairs immediately."
The Devil responds, "No way. We want to keep our engineer. We like him."
God demands, "If you don't send him to me immediately, I'll sue!"
The Devil laughs. "Where are You going to get a lawyer?"

Vengeance Graphix · 09-12-2012, 07:50 PM

HAHA

09-12-2012, 05:19 PM	#1
Steve Dallas Commits weekly crime Drives: 2017 Camaro 1LT Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Camano Island, WA Posts: 9,513 View My Garage	Prom Night A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline. __________________ 2017 Camaro 1LT - Blue Barchetta IV I fire up the willing engine, responding with a roar. Tires spitting gravel I commit my weekly crime.

09-12-2012, 05:24 PM	#2
CamaroSkooter Retarded One-Legged Owl Drives: 2010 Black Camaro 2SS Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: San Antonio, TX Posts: 9,745	__________________ My VIN = 2G1FK1EJ9A9105017 Build Date: 04-23-2009 according to: http://www.compnine.com/vid.php

09-12-2012, 05:43 PM	#5
GTAHVIT Blessed Drives: 2013 Sonic RS MT Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Saint Augustine FL Posts: 28,441 View My Garage	I... I just.... hate you. __________________ Click image to see build thread. PQ - "the love of cars. It's a boys first step toward manhood and a mans last hold on boyhood." Fbodfather - "We do not want to use the Z28 moniker on a car that does not deserve this hallowed name." The_Blur - "Let's not confuse competitors with equals."

09-12-2012, 05:47 PM	#6
Steve Dallas Commits weekly crime Drives: 2017 Camaro 1LT Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Camano Island, WA Posts: 9,513 View My Garage	Well, I deserve the facepalm for that one. OK, here's another one that my dad told me many years ago. (note that the original joke had the man as being Polish. I'm almost certain I'm of Polish ancestry, being that my Grandfather's last name ended with ...sky. A man walked into a pet shop, and was looking at the birds. He saw a very colorful parrot, and asked the store owner about it. It was a great bird, but it cost over 3000 bucks. The man couldn't afford that, and asked if there was anything else he could get. The store owner showed him another bird that only cost 100 bucks. The store owner explained that the bird was perfect, except his beak was 1 millimeter to long. The guy said he was a mechanic and could easily file that long beak to make it look perfect. The store owner warned him that he couldn't file more than 1 millimeter off the beak, otherwise he'd hit the Tetse nerve and it would die. The next day, the man walked into the store, looking very sad. The store owner said, "I did warn you not to file more than 1mm off the beak. What happened?". The man replied, "I crushed his head in the vice". __________________ 2017 Camaro 1LT - Blue Barchetta IV I fire up the willing engine, responding with a roar. Tires spitting gravel I commit my weekly crime. Last edited by Steve Dallas; 09-12-2012 at 06:05 PM.

09-12-2012, 06:13 PM	#9
Dznts Anabolic Connoisseur Drives: Sold - Blown Camaro 2SS/RS LS3 Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 22,094	Lol __________________

09-12-2012, 05:40 PM	#3
SSTG Drives: 2014 Z51 Corvette Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Ofallon, Mo. Posts: 5,822	LOL.

09-12-2012, 05:49 PM	#7
Mysteek Lounge Gangsta!! Drives: 2014 Jeep Wrangler Sahara Unlimited Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: NM Posts: 12,824

09-12-2012, 06:10 PM	#8
atver22 Drives: 2011 2SS/RS Synergy Green Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Sun Prairie, WI Posts: 104	I want those 30 seconds of my life back.

09-12-2012, 06:36 PM	#10
Steve Dallas Commits weekly crime Drives: 2017 Camaro 1LT Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Camano Island, WA Posts: 9,513 View My Garage	C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors," and E-flat leaves. C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me, I'll just be a second." A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor and sends him out. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and shouts, "Get out now. You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight." Next night, E-flat, not easily deflated, comes into the bar in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says: "You're looking pretty sharp tonight. Come on in. This could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat takes off his suit and everything else and stands there au naturel. Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before, begins to sober up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to the diminution of a minor and sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale correctional facility. The conviction is overturned on appeal, however, and C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless. The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest and closes the bar. __________________ 2017 Camaro 1LT - Blue Barchetta IV I fire up the willing engine, responding with a roar. Tires spitting gravel I commit my weekly crime.

09-12-2012, 06:43 PM	#11
CamaroSkooter Retarded One-Legged Owl Drives: 2010 Black Camaro 2SS Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: San Antonio, TX Posts: 9,745	wow... __________________ My VIN = 2G1FK1EJ9A9105017 Build Date: 04-23-2009 according to: http://www.compnine.com/vid.php

09-12-2012, 06:51 PM	#12
SSTG Drives: 2014 Z51 Corvette Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Ofallon, Mo. Posts: 5,822	Now the last one deserves a face palm,lol.

09-12-2012, 06:52 PM	#13
Steve Dallas Commits weekly crime Drives: 2017 Camaro 1LT Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Camano Island, WA Posts: 9,513 View My Garage	An engineer dies and goes to hell. He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The moving walkway motor jammed, so he unjams it. People can get from place to place more easily. The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to the Satellite dish and now they get hundreds of high def channels, although they still cannot watch Breaking Bad on AMC. One day, God decides to look down on Hell to see how his grand design is working out and notices that everyone is happy and enjoying umbrella drinks. He asks the Devil what's up? The Devil says, "Things are great down here since you sent us an engineer." "What?" says God. "An engineer? I didn't send you one of those. That must have been a mistake. Send him upstairs immediately." The Devil responds, "No way. We want to keep our engineer. We like him." God demands, "If you don't send him to me immediately, I'll sue!" The Devil laughs. "Where are You going to get a lawyer?" __________________ 2017 Camaro 1LT - Blue Barchetta IV I fire up the willing engine, responding with a roar. Tires spitting gravel I commit my weekly crime.

09-12-2012, 07:50 PM	#14
Vengeance Graphix Drives: 2017 Corvette Grand Sport Join Date: May 2010 Location: Central NJ Posts: 10,870	HAHA __________________ Vengeance Graphix