The Ladies Lounge

[Ladybugsmom]

Hard as it may be to hear, it does sound like it's time to send him packing....

My husband and I first got together almost 11 years ago. We were out driving around one day, and stumbled across a new house that was too good of a deal to pass up. Since I hadn't been planning on buying a house, it was quite a stretch initially to buy it (didn't have a lot in savings to put down, and didn't get as much as I had hoped in the sale of my other house). He had committed to contributing a certain amount of money each month, then backed out. We struggled for a while, but got caught up, and had a decent lifestyle. He still didn't contribute what he had promised. It took a couple of years, but when I found out that the whole neighborhood referred to me as his "sugar momma" - around the same time I realized how much he had in savings, a LOT - I kicked his butt out. He spent almost a year finding out the hard way just how much I was worth. Mainly, financially. One day, he came over to feed the dogs while I was at work, and dug through all the bills. He approached me the next day and told me he hadn't realized how expensive our life was and sincerely apologized. He begged me to start over, and I told him there was one condition... If I paid the bills, he handed over his paycheck to me. We worked it out, but wouldn't have if I hadn't forced him to open his eyes.
You need to stop helping this guy with anything. Make him realize how valuable you are (in all aspects), and if he can't see it, then move on....

[rmpackers]

Originally Posted by GTAHVIT

He's not worth the trouble.

Just to be brutally honest. You guys aren't married, so nothing is "ours" he will always have that bailout.

you need to move on. My guess is he's been the same guy from day one and doesn't understand how to give in any relationship.

You can stay with him, ( not what I'd suggest ) but if you do you have no excuse when he acts like this.

And I certainly wouldn't expect things to be different if you were married....

time to go.

FWIW

Could not agree more! Seriously, read your post Belle like it belonged to someone else. What would you say to that person?
Wasn't it Einstein that said the definition of stupid (I'm not saying you are stupid, the situation is) is to repeat the same behaviour but expect different results?

[BowtieBelle]

Well, I told him everything I told y'all, and what y'all said.

He was quiet for a long time, then told me he wouldn't get me that Camaro because it's not practical for a dirt road. We went and looked at a 4x4 Chevy today.

Hopefully I'll have a new daily driver soon! Guess all I needed to do was tell him how I felt. He's been a lot better about listening to me lately. Thanks for everything, C5'ers It's nice to have y'all here!

[Ladybugsmom]

Originally Posted by BowtieBelle

Well, I told him everything I told y'all, and what y'all said.

He was quiet for a long time, then told me he wouldn't get me that Camaro because it's not practical for a dirt road. We went and looked at a 4x4 Chevy today.

Hopefully I'll have a new daily driver soon! Guess all I needed to do was tell him how I felt. He's been a lot better about listening to me lately. Thanks for everything, C5'ers It's nice to have y'all here!

Make sure he CONTINUES to listen to and appreciate you! You deserve nothing but the best, Sarah!!

[STINGER BEE]

Sarah just think about what you have written,If you are not happy with his decisions,and doesn't acknowledge your input,dump him, their are more fish in the sea.

Originally Posted by BowtieBelle

I'm sooooo frustrated, ladies. Y'all gotta help me!

I have been super-supportive of my on/off guy of 6 years. Especially when it comes to his toys. He buys RC cars and planes, actual cars and trucks, you name it. Stuff adds up, but it's what he likes. OK.

He judges pretty harshly anything I spend my money on. Then he refuses to spend any money on me whatsoever-- and I know that sounds awfully petty of me, but I've spent tons of money on him!-- and it just makes me want to SCREAM. He says it's stupid that I buy what I do (I try to look nice, so I do buy nice clothes and bags, but I don't go crazy). Nevermind the house I bought for us.... then had to sell when he and I split up, and took a loss on.... ANYWAY So let me get down to brass tacks.... this most recent deal; we were talking about getting a daily driver for me so I would stop tearing up Bella. He just got a big inheritance so he has plenty of money to spend and I asked him if he would help me. He said maybe.

A week later he decides to buy a race car "for us." OK, sure. I'll go along with that. We can add it to the collection of 6 vehicles he currently owns.

Well, I forgo a Camaro Club cruise to ride down the 6 hours to Dallas and help him pick it up. On the way, I convince him to stop and I pick up a new Coach bag for myself at the Coach outlet. We get the car, and start to drive back-- and I mention the daily driver ($2,500) I was looking at. He says that it's "not his fault I'm in debt" and I "already have a car so just drive it, it's only a V6 anyway"

Then he decides today to ask me what I think of this OTHER car that he wants to buy. He thinks it's a good deal-- it's gutted; trust me, it isn't a good deal-- but since we already have dirt track racecars he said this one will just get parked for the next year or two. So let's spend $2,000 on a car with no engine or transmission, then let it sit in my yard and be a weed-trap for a year and not touch it. Let's buy something completely useless in its' present form. But I can't have my $2,500 '92 Camaro daily driver beater. REALLY?!!!!!

I mean, come on. I've bought him parts for his cars. I've worked on his cars with him. I've gone to races. I've been super-supportive. But I'm coming unglued!

WHAT. THE. CRAP. I WANT TO BEAT HIM IN THE FACE! I know all men kinda suck sometimes and don't always think, but y'all gotta goos fraba me or something to calm me down before I take off one of my heels and stab him with it. I keep telling him how impractical and wasteful it is to buy a gutted out dirt track car when we already HAVE race cars, including one we are about to start racing at the dirt track weekend after next-- I told him you can't ride two horses with one ass, much less six. Am I crazy for thinking this is just too much, or for being irritated? OH I should probably add that he said the reason he asked my opinion (which he is now ignoring as he is on his way to go look at aforementioned gutted car) is because he "thinks of it as our money."

Hope my long jumbled post made sense. I needed to vent. Thank God for the ladies' lounge.

BTW, men's input welcomed too.

[Envy]

Here's my opinion after 30 years of marriage...

If you love him and can accept him for exactly who and what he is now...then you should stay with him. But if you're choosing to stay with him because you think he will change...you're making the wrong decision.

I hope everything works out for you Sarah.

[ROBOSSRS]

Originally Posted by BowtieBelle

Well, I told him everything I told y'all, and what y'all said.

He was quiet for a long time, then told me he wouldn't get me that Camaro because it's not practical for a dirt road. We went and looked at a 4x4 Chevy today.

Hopefully I'll have a new daily driver soon! Guess all I needed to do was tell him how I felt. He's been a lot better about listening to me lately. Thanks for everything, C5'ers It's nice to have y'all here!

You seem like a nice kid . I hope it works out.

[BowtieBelle]

Got a new DD, ladies! http://www.camaro5.com/forums/showthread.php?t=213624

Sanddemon, I wish I was a kid I'm old

[sugar'n'spice]

Originally Posted by Envy

Here's my opinion after 30 years of marriage...

If you love him and can accept him for exactly who and what he is now...then you should stay with him. But if you're choosing to stay with him because you think he will change...you're making the wrong decision.

I hope everything works out for you Sarah.

Very well said Envy !

[STINGER BEE]

Hi Jo

Long time no see, hope all is well.

Originally Posted by sugar'n'spice

Very well said Envy !

[heRS]

Here's a good shot of my new halo setup. I love how it turned out!
We finally had a nice day so I could WASH & WAX. It really needed it, been raining like crazy here in eastern WA.

[RubyCamaro]

Originally Posted by heRS

Here's a good shot of my new halo setup. I love how it turned out!
We finally had a nice day so I could WASH & WAX. It really needed it, been raining like crazy here in eastern WA.

NICE! I have got to get me some Halos. :( Hi ladies. I have been off line for a while. Boy is that a handicapping condition! Glad to be back.

[ROBOSSRS]

Originally Posted by BowtieBelle

Got a new DD, ladies! http://www.camaro5.com/forums/showthread.php?t=213624

Sanddemon, I wish I was a kid I'm old

Kid,kid, kid. You're not almost 56 like me. :(

[RubyCamaro]

I agree. Bowtie, you are not alowed to refer to yourself as old around us!