Age Gap - And -When to draw the line.

[chris725]

Originally Posted by blackknight

i dont care how "mature" a 16 year old might seem...they are still 16 years old, immature as they come, moody, irresponsible, doubtful, needy, afraid, dramatic, juvenile,and naive, . i say that a 25 year old dating a 16 year old is dumb and stupid. Date people within 2-3 years of your own age and that works fine.

I am 22, and am dating a 20 year old. sometimes i feel that 2 year difference is unbearable. i could hardly depict a 9 year difference.

well said

[Hoddi]

Ed is right.....
BUT NO 16 year old GIRL need to be involved with a MAN!!! And to be honest, he ought to know better, because it just isn't fair to that girl!!!

[PQ]

My son is 16 and daughter is 13 and I just can't imagine.........

[Chrisrp454]

Keep that shotgun handy, or get one if you have not.
And when her dates come to pick her up, ALWAYS be cleaning it!

Originally Posted by PQ

My son is 16 and daughter is 13 and I just can't imagine.........

[blackknight]

Originally Posted by chris725

well said

[1bad65]

Originally Posted by PQ

My son is 16 and daughter is 13 and I just can't imagine.........

Be like the dad on Clueless, "I have a .45 and a shovel. I doubt anyone would miss you."

[FenwickHockey65]

My parents have a fairly large age difference between them, but they got married when my mom was in her late 20s and both had stable jobs.

But at 16 she has no idea what she's getting herself into.

[2000v6]

Originally Posted by PQ

My son is 16 and daughter is 13 and I just can't imagine.........

You should get a glock and a bottle of whiskey. Have the gun in your pocket but make sure that it's seen and take swigs from the bottle. And repeat the line that Martin Lawrence's character says in bad boys II.

"Have my daughter home at 10:01, if she ain't home at 10:01 I'm in the car, o.k. Locked, loaded and hunting your mother****in ass down."

If I ever have a daughter when I'll have kids, I'm going to use that line every single time a new guy comes over. Along with these:

"You a virgin?"
"Yes"
"Alright, keep it that way, ain't no gonna be no ****in tonight"

"Have you ever made love to a man?"
"No"
"You want to?"
"No, sir"

[Camaro_Corvette]

This can only end in disaster. That guy should know better at his age. He needs to grow up, be a man, a end it! Life sucks! Get over it!

Originally Posted by blackknight

i dont care how "mature" a 16 year old might seem...they are still 16 years old, immature as they come, moody, irresponsible, doubtful, needy, afraid, dramatic, juvenile,and naive, . i say that a 25 year old dating a 16 year old is dumb and stupid. Date people within 2-3 years of your own age and that works fine.

I am 22, and am dating a 20 year old. sometimes i feel that 2 year difference is unbearable. i could hardly depict a 9 year difference.

[DandDC09]

Ok... let's see... where to start where to start...

First off, my husband usually posts on here, but this is the wife, and I'm the one that usually posts on the "relationship" threads...

That said.. My husband and I are happily married and have an AMAZING relationship and we are (gasp) 14 years apart in age. I'm 23, he's 37.

We met and started dating when I was 19 (2 months shy of being 20) and he was 33. He didn't look 33 (still doesn't look 37), but I knew from the start how old he was. We started out as friends first, and he knew how old I was. I have always been told I have an old soul and act way too old for my age. Always. All my life. That being said, if someone is wise beyond their years and is mature, they won't lie about their age, and they won't let their friends lie either. That's an IMMATURE sign.

I have 3 older brothers who have a reputation of being NOT so nice about who I date and so on. A dad and 2 grandpas who are VERY protective Marines (not in the service anymore, but there's no such thing as a former Marine). I'm the only girl in the family, so I was never allowed to do the same things my brothers got to do... but that's beside the point.

I told my mom how old my husband was before anyone met him... and she promised not to tell anyone. She didn't care though. Danny met my entire family and they all liked him a lot. Shortly after they found out how old he was and I prepared for the blow up... They didn't blow up. One brother was pissed I didn't tell him from the get go, oh well, they're good friends now.

Danny was worried when I turned 21 I'd want to go out and party and go clubbing and just go crazy. He didn't want to hold me back if that's what I wanted to do, even though that really wasn't his "thing" anymore. I assured him he woudn't hold me back, it wasn't something I'd be into either. I partied in high school, drank, went crazy. Got it all out of my system. Turning 21 wasn't going to be a big deal for me...
And it wasn't. I turned 21... We had a party with friends, and we went to one club. And it just drove home that it wasn't my "thing" either...

We got engaged when I was 21 and married when I was 22. I'm now 23 and our first anniversary is coming up (june 13th!), and I can say we have a WONDERFUL marriage.
Do we have the same kind of relationship most 23 year olds have? NOPE.
5 days after our wedding we went to the ER thinking my husband had appendicitis. Nuh-uh... turned out to be colon cancer. Stage 3. The past 9 months have been rough, but we're getting through it together. Did I ever think that at 23, in my first year of marriage, I'd have to handle my husband having cancer? No. Did I deal with it? Yes. Could I have handled it a few years ago? Hmmm... not sure. I've grown up a LOT since meeting Danny. We both have, separately and together.
I was still young (even though I was mature and blah blah) and would pick fights over the most ridiculous things, and Danny would just tell me that "this is one of those thigns that won't matter tomorrow, or next week, or next month, so do you really want to waste your time fighting over it?" Or I'd storm off and slam a door and he'd follow me and make me talk out the issue with him, instead of closing off and being unhappy.
We have developed a better relationship than most people I know have, and maybe that's because I made my "mistakes" in high school with my serious boyfriend then. Or maybe it's because I found someone who had everything I ever wanted in a partner. Or maybe it's because we're suppsoed to be together.
I don't know.

I guess my point is relationships CAN work with a big age gap, but they're not necessarily easy, not while the younger person is growing up and into his/her own person. And not when they're based off of a lie.
If they care for each other so much, then they can stay friends for another year or two... and then see where it goes... or I guess if everyone is ok with the relationship, they can try to stay together for ever.... but it won't be easy...
But there should never be secrets. There should never be lies. Not from the person in the relationship or their friends...

[2000v6]

Originally Posted by DandDC09

Ok... let's see... where to start where to start...

First off, my husband usually posts on here, but this is the wife, and I'm the one that usually posts on the "relationship" threads...

That said.. My husband and I are happily married and have an AMAZING relationship and we are (gasp) 14 years apart in age. I'm 23, he's 37.

We met and started dating when I was 19 (2 months shy of being 20) and he was 33. He didn't look 33 (still doesn't look 37), but I knew from the start how old he was. We started out as friends first, and he knew how old I was. I have always been told I have an old soul and act way too old for my age. Always. All my life. That being said, if someone is wise beyond their years and is mature, they won't lie about their age, and they won't let their friends lie either. That's an IMMATURE sign.

I have 3 older brothers who have a reputation of being NOT so nice about who I date and so on. A dad and 2 grandpas who are VERY protective Marines (not in the service anymore, but there's no such thing as a former Marine). I'm the only girl in the family, so I was never allowed to do the same things my brothers got to do... but that's beside the point.

I told my mom how old my husband was before anyone met him... and she promised not to tell anyone. She didn't care though. Danny met my entire family and they all liked him a lot. Shortly after they found out how old he was and I prepared for the blow up... They didn't blow up. One brother was pissed I didn't tell him from the get go, oh well, they're good friends now.

Danny was worried when I turned 21 I'd want to go out and party and go clubbing and just go crazy. He didn't want to hold me back if that's what I wanted to do, even though that really wasn't his "thing" anymore. I assured him he woudn't hold me back, it wasn't something I'd be into either. I partied in high school, drank, went crazy. Got it all out of my system. Turning 21 wasn't going to be a big deal for me...
And it wasn't. I turned 21... We had a party with friends, and we went to one club. And it just drove home that it wasn't my "thing" either...

We got engaged when I was 21 and married when I was 22. I'm now 23 and our first anniversary is coming up (june 13th!), and I can say we have a WONDERFUL marriage.
Do we have the same kind of relationship most 23 year olds have? NOPE.
5 days after our wedding we went to the ER thinking my husband had appendicitis. Nuh-uh... turned out to be colon cancer. Stage 3. The past 9 months have been rough, but we're getting through it together. Did I ever think that at 23, in my first year of marriage, I'd have to handle my husband having cancer? No. Did I deal with it? Yes. Could I have handled it a few years ago? Hmmm... not sure. I've grown up a LOT since meeting Danny. We both have, separately and together.
I was still young (even though I was mature and blah blah) and would pick fights over the most ridiculous things, and Danny would just tell me that "this is one of those thigns that won't matter tomorrow, or next week, or next month, so do you really want to waste your time fighting over it?" Or I'd storm off and slam a door and he'd follow me and make me talk out the issue with him, instead of closing off and being unhappy.
We have developed a better relationship than most people I know have, and maybe that's because I made my "mistakes" in high school with my serious boyfriend then. Or maybe it's because I found someone who had everything I ever wanted in a partner. Or maybe it's because we're suppsoed to be together.
I don't know.

I guess my point is relationships CAN work with a big age gap, but they're not necessarily easy, not while the younger person is growing up and into his/her own person. And not when they're based off of a lie.
If they care for each other so much, then they can stay friends for another year or two... and then see where it goes... or I guess if everyone is ok with the relationship, they can try to stay together for ever.... but it won't be easy...
But there should never be secrets. There should never be lies. Not from the person in the relationship or their friends...

Have you thought about this? Maybe you're the exception to the rule? Maybe you are the only two that have and will ever do it successfully?

Honestly... great for you. But I doubt any normal 25 year old would be going out with a 16 year old.

[DandDC09]

Originally Posted by 2000v6

Have you thought about this? Maybe you're the exception to the rule? Maybe you are the only two that have and will ever do it successfully?

Honestly... great for you. But I doubt any normal 25 year old would be going out with a 16 year old.

When I was 16 I hung out with my brothers and their friends, early to mid 20's ish.... and never would I have dated any of them. Nor would they have dated me. There was an obvious line there nobody would've crossed... and I don't think any of them ever looked at me "that way" either. At 16 I had a serious boyfriend 2 years older than me. And we made all the ridiculous mistakes that normal 16 year olds make in relationship..... It was a learning relationship, like most teen's relationships are.

I don't think many 16 year olds will marry the person they're dating at 16... And STAY married...

I said it's hard. I said it's work. And I didn't start dating my husband until I was almost 20. There's NO WAY IN HELL he would've put up with me when I was 16, even though I was a mature 16 year old... He would've laughed and went back to someone his own age...

[AZCamaroFan]

Nice post DandDCO9

I don't usually believe in big age differences. When you're a teenager, every year is a big difference. 16-25 is surely too much. If it was like 16-20 and they met in Church and had supervision, maybe.
Now when you get over 20 there isn't as big of a difference--to a point. I mean, i can't imagine dating someone my parents age like some people do. Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas??

[Scrappy Doo]

The 25 year old needs to get a life.

That said, I know of a 30 year old dating an 18 year old that's still in high school.