Say What?????

[Da Hose]

>Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
>Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
>because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,
>but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
>--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
>
>``````````````````````````````````
>"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I
>can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with
>all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey
>
>````````````
>"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your
>life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for
>federal anti-smoking campaign.
>``````````````````````````````````````````````` ``
>"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"--Winston
>Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
>`````````````````````````````````````````````
>
>"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in
>the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
>`````````````````````````````
>
>"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the
>president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed
>documents.
>````````````````````````````````````````````````` ```
>
>"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and
>I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas.
>````````````````````````````
>
>"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager,
>Danny Ozark
>``````````````````````````````````
>
>"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in
>our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President (DUH !)
>```````````````````
>"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle
>``````````
>
>"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"--Lee
>Iacocca
>```````````
>"The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
>Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.
>````````````````````````````````````````````
>"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
>people."
>--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.
>`````````````````````````````````
>"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton,
>President
>``````````````````
>"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
>--Al Gore, VP ( he's smart)
>````````````````
>"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
>--Keppel Enderbery
>``````````````````````
>"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received
>notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is
>a change in your circumstances."
>--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
>````````````````````````````````````````````
>"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they
>go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the
>next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S.
>Fowler, FCC Chairman

[Scrappy Doo]

LOL

[Dr Jkel]

here's you sign

[2010 SSRS]

what

[Da Hose]

Originally Posted by 2010 SSRS

what

[WadeWilson]

Good stuff. Open mouth insert foot please!

[PAUL SS]

All those classics and not one from George W. Bush!

[ron10]

i will meet you at school tomorrow.if i get there first i will put a mark on the blackboard.if you get there first, rub it off.DAH-OK.

[Da Hose]

Originally Posted by ron10

i will meet you at school tomorrow.if i get there first i will put a mark on the blackboard.if you get there first, rub it off.DAH-OK.

[Ant32894]

Originally Posted by ron10

i will meet you at school tomorrow.if i get there first i will put a mark on the blackboard.if you get there first, rub it off.DAH-OK.

[WadeWilson]

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."
- Alicia Silverstone, Actress


"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
- George Bush, former U.S. President

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
- George Gobel

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
- Greg Norman, Golfer

"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach


"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"Where the hell is Australia anyway?"
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"Better make it six, I can't eat eight."
- Dan Osinski, Baseball pitcher, when a waitress asked if he wanted his pizza cut into six or eight slices

"If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day. But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"And now the sequence of events in no particular order."
- Dan Rather, television news anchor

[jcamaro]

Some of those aren't real quotes, like the Mariah Carey one. Seems like someone has been getting chain mail lately, with all the jokes and such...