parts from my story

[shad2009]

well, like i promised, i'm sharing with my camaro5 family some of my story...hope you all enjoy the read, sorry for the length and the language in the story

Chapter One:
Before I did anything, I had to find a change of clothes. Not too many people are walking around this city in an orange jumpsuit with Property Of Corrections printed on the back. I went downtown to one of the urban clothing stores, and grabbed a new outfit. The sales guy was too busy flirting with some broad to pay any attention to me. When they went into the back, I walked out with some more outfits, four of the new Jordan’s, and the money from the safe. I mean, I never intended to pay in the first place, so why not walk out with more?
I took Carlos’ advice and headed to a bar, to see if I could find any information on my old crew members, and keep a low profile until I could start making moves again.

“It is said by most to be the trial of the century. A notorious member of the gang once known as the Devil’s Angels, Arobi was arrested last year in an assassination attempt on then decorated police officer Troy Bradshaw. Arobi was convicted of one count of attempted murder and a record five hundred counts of first degree murder…sending him to death row.” The news reporter on the T.V. said.

“Hey man, turn this shit off.” A drunken gang member dressed in red said to the bartender as he sat down.
“Yo, man. I was watchin’ that,” I said.
“Well, I guess you’re not anymore. Are you, bitch?” he said, sitting his beer on the counter.
“Okay,” I said. I grabbed the top of the bottle.
“Hey, that’s my…”
CRASH! I broke the bottle off the side of his face. “Can you turn that back on,” I said, throwing the remainder of the bottle on the floor.

“In a few short moments, we’ll be let back into the court room, where we will find out the outcome of the situation. Back to you Amy.” The reporter finished.

“Oh, shit!” I said. I had to get my boy out of there. I left the bar and the drunk on the floor in a pool of his own blood. I had to hurry…
**********
“Mr. Arobi. You have been charged in over five hundred murders, how do you really expect this appeal to work?” the judge said.
“Well, I figured with the statute of limitations, it really oughtta be three fitty.” He replied.
“There’s no statute of limitation on murder!” the judge yelled.
“Well why the **** not?”
“Watch your language in my court room young man.” The judge warned.
“Or what, you’ll hold me in contempt?” Arobi laughed, “**** off!” he held up his middle finger.
“I wonder if you can keep up this comedic attitude with deadly toxins running through your body.” The judge said as she slammed her gavel.
“I’m curious to see if you’ll continue actin’ like a douche bag when I shove that gavel up your ass!”
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
“What was that?” the judge asked. The guard drew his gun and walked over to the door, where the gunshots came from.
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! I shot off three rounds and kicked the door in, sending the guard to the floor with the door on top of him. I grabbed the gun that he dropped. The other guard came from around the judge’s desk and right into the barrel of my gun.
“Drop it!” I said. He quickly released it, throwing his hands up. The gun went off when it hit the floor and everybody ducked. Everybody except Arobi.
“Anybody get hit and need a lawyer?” Arobi’s attorney said, standing up. I aimed at his head and fired off another shot. He seemed annoying.
“Damn!” Arobi said. “I wanted to do that.” I grabbed the set of keys from one of the guards. “Well it’s about time your burnt and crispy ass woke the **** up.” he said.
“You aiight man?”
“Aside from almost bein’ put to death; I’d say I’m just ****in’ peachy.” He said, unlocking the handcuffs.
“You ready to get the **** up outta here?” I handed him a gun.
“What the **** you think?” he replied, shooting the judge before we left. “Bitch…”


later on in the story....


Before I did anything, I needed to get a car. I can’t be running a gang and be walkin’ everywhere or takin’ the bus. There was a dealership on the other side of town. I headed down there to see what was new.
I walked in and saw nothing but new cars; from Lexus, Chevy, Nissan, and so on. There were a couple of people finalizing deals in their offices, and a group of people talking, not paying any attention to me. I expected that, though. They all just looked at me like I wasn’t buying a damn thing. ****in’ people.
I looked to my right, and instantly fell in love. Sitting in front of me was the new 2011 Chevrolet Z28 Camaro, it was a midnight metallic blue. One of the sales women, a young and beautiful Hispanic woman approached me.
“How are you doing today sir? Welcome to Boston Motors. Is there anything that I can help you with today?” she asked in her soft tone.
“Yes, I’m looking to buy a new car. This is the new 6.2L V8 526 horsepower Camaro, isn’t it?” I asked, showing off.
“I see you know your cars. Yes, it is, but I don’t really know too much about it.”
Bullshit! I thought.
“It’s my first week on the job, and it’s the only one in the city right now. I can tell you that it hasn’t been driven yet, not even for a test drive.” She giggled. “My name’s Nikki by the way.” She extended her hand.
“You can call me T-Money, babygirl.” I said, smirking.
“Well, Mr. Money. Since you seem to know so much about this car, we can step into my office and you can give me a crash course on this wonderful car.”
I knew damn well what she really wanted, so I played along. “Maybe we can talk about more than just the car,” I said, winking. She blushed.
Knock, knock, knock. One of the salesmen that paid me no attention interrupted. “How you doin’ my brotha?” he said, pounding my fist. “What’s goin’ on here Nikki? You got another sale already?” he asked.
Fake people…
“Yes, sir. This gentleman was looking to purchase the new Camaro that we just received.”
His eyes shot wide open, and I returned with a grin. “Are you sure about that sir? That car runs about seventy grand. I think somebody in your stature would be more fitting in one of those,” he pointed to a used 2009 7 Series BMW.
“First off, I only drive American. Second, what makes you think I want a used car, and third, that car does not cost seventy grand…” I snapped.
“I just thought that…”
“Because I’m young, you don’t think I can afford it.” I said what he really wanted to say. “I’m thinkin’ you should get started on the paperwork.” I opened my bag, revealing the seventy grand I had inside. “Go get the keys to my car, Nikki and I are talking business.”
After all the papers were signed, I ended up being right. The car only cost fifty grand, the little thief was trying to mark the car up an extra twenty thousand…****in’ people! After all the money was counted, I told Nikki she could keep the change.
“She…she gets it?” the salesman asked.
“That’s right; she gets it, all twenty thousand. If YOU would have given me the time of day, then the commission AND money would have been yours.” He stood motionless, with his mouth wide open.
Nikki gave me her number and told me to give her a call sometime. I gladly accepted, and sped out of the garage like I stole something.
While I was stopped at a red light, a guy pulled up next to me in a Mustang. It looked like a V6. He started revving his engine, trying to show off to his girlfriend. I took my index finger and held it close to my thumb, implying that he was trying to make up for something short. His girlfriend started laughing, and I sped off, leaving him far behind. Damn Mustangs…


once again, i apologize for the language...and of course the length...i appriciate anybody that actually reads the entire thing and replies, and to anybody that only has time to read part of it and reply...i made up the price for the Z28, because i have no clue what it will cost lol...the last part was made with all my CAMARO finatics in mind...thanks again for reading, hope you all enjoyed

[shad2009]

18 views, no replies:(is it that long? or that bad?

[Iwantone2]

Just finished reading it and I'm really intrigued about how the main character escaped? (<-- rhetorical) Keep up the good work! Can't wait for the final print!!!

[PAUL SS]

What's the story with this story, are you writing a novel?

[Iwantone2]

To Paul SS: yes he is!

To Shad: do I sense Nikki taking a bigger role in the rest of the story?

[PAUL SS]

Interesting and amusing too.

["prima"Donna]

good stuff!!!...

[shad2009]

Originally Posted by Iwantone2

Just finished reading it and I'm really intrigued about how the main character escaped? (<-- rhetorical) Keep up the good work! Can't wait for the final print!!!

i left that out on purposedidn't wanna ruin the opening

Originally Posted by Iwantone2

To Paul SS: yes he is!

To Shad: do I sense Nikki taking a bigger role in the rest of the story?

she will, it's a 3-part book about the gang, but i'm going to write another part, just about Nikki and the main character...i didn't wanna make it a mushy story, but she does have a decent role in the main story

Originally Posted by Paul SS

Interesting and amusing too.

thanks, i figured the last part would amuse you guys

Originally Posted by "prima"Donna

good stuff!!!...

thank you


anybody else wanna share comments/opinions

[Mindz]

Looks good so far. I think you captured "your dealer is an idiot" perfectly. The one part I'm worried about is how easily it is for this guy to do everything. To singlehandedly break a friend out of jail and escape without being touched or chased is causing me to hang up on that point.

If there was a chase and the character escaped, then the transition wasn't smooth at all.

Could also develop scenes and people a little more descriptively also.

I'd continue reading.

[PQ]

Shad, have your parents read this?

[shad2009]

Originally Posted by PQ

Shad, have your parents read this?

i'm 22 years old lol, i can write what i want lol...my mother is actually the one who got me reading fictional books, and the ones she read were just as bad...the language gets worse as the story goes lol

[shad2009]

Originally Posted by Mindz

Looks good so far. I think you captured "your dealer is an idiot" perfectly. The one part I'm worried about is how easily it is for this guy to do everything. To singlehandedly break a friend out of jail and escape without being touched or chased is causing me to hang up on that point.

If there was a chase and the character escaped, then the transition wasn't smooth at all.

Could also develop scenes and people a little more descriptively also.

I'd continue reading.

thanks for that feedback, i have been editing it...the main character can't do "everything", i just briefly wrote that part...i'm still comin up with crazy ideas...but ur feedback is greatly appriciated

[Ant32894]

I like this...can't wait for the full copy to come out!

[JoeP@TeamBeckyD]

When is the next chapter coming? Interesting that your salesperson was a young hot thing. Whats wrong with middle aged and so so looking? LOL