The Relationship Thread

[The_Blur]

I'm having a tough time right now. Usually, I don't write a word about my life. Right now, I'm not going to say much either. I will say that I've learned a lot in college, and not all of it comes from the Blake Hall (Political Science building at KU). Just like everyone else, I have plenty more to learn, and so does she, but knowing that doesn't make tonight any easier.

I just want to read some other people's stories, share advice, and learn a little.

Be sure to post any wisdom you have about relationships here. It can be stories about things gone right or wrong; lessons you've learned; anything. Just post something.

[Mindz]

College can be some of the best years, as well as some of the worst years. I can't really post wisdom here unless you shed some light. Hope everything works out.

[TFord]

2 small pearls of wisdom:

Anything worth having is worth working for.

relationships=communication

[swazworth]

don't stress about anything to much. the sun will come up tommorow, and if it doesn't, well then we are all f*cked anyways.

[TAG UR IT]

Originally Posted by swazworth

don't stress about anything to much. the sun will come up tommorow, and if it doesn't, well then we are all f*cked anyways.

^Well, that was not expected!

Communication IS key.

Relationships take work.

I don't want this to come off sounding negative and I don't mean to send you or anyone else down the wrong path, but I need to mention that spending two unhappy years together can lead to many more unhappy years. I see a few of my friends who are in a constant battle w/ their significant others. They always, ALWAYS, fight and have problems. It never ends... Both want to wear the pants and they need to realize that wearing the pants isn't what matters. It's about being on the same team and working together....wanting to make the other person happy. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. You can't live your life not trusting your partner. It'll end up being detrimental to YOUR life.

I've been w/ my wife for 9 years and it's been up and down. We argue occasionally like most folks, but at the end of the day, there's no one I'd rather be with. We just work well together and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my wife.

Good luck and know that I hope the best for you. I really do. I don't know what's going on right now, but I hope all works out.

[The_Blur]

The good news is that we talked all night and sorted some things out.

The bad news is that she is getting on a plane to Chicago to see her family, her dentist, and some old high school friends.

I normally don't post anything about my relationships because I figure you guys probably don't want to hear about it. For some background, though, I'll let you guys know that we've been dating since early November and have been together almost every single day since since February. It's been the best feeling in the world to have someone in my life like her, and we've made sacrifices to make sure it lasts. Everything you guys said about work is true. Relationships aren't supposed to be simple or easy.

I appreciate your guys posts. Keep posting. I'm sure we all have a lot to share.

[scotchsride09]

Wish you the best of luck, Blur.... And if you need to vent, go for it... I think anyone who would bring you down for it doesn't belong on this forum from what I've seen so far of everyone on here.

What everyone else on here has said is pretty much true, really the one kernel of advice I'd like to add is to just remember that women and men are different; they want different things emotionally, physically, verbally and express themselves different ways by each as well. That's why honest, straightforward verbal communication is SO important. I can't count the number of times I've been in the middle of two people in a relationship and heard the woman talking about how her husband/fiancee/boyfriend never picks up the hints she drops and therefore she thinks he doesn't care; and the man complains how she gets mad at him out of the blue for no reason for something he didn't even know he was supposed to do!

That's just one scenario, but it's a good example of the sorts of misunderstandings that can occur.

As far as my own relationship experience goes... let's just say I'm VERY happy now and that's all that matters... although I do have a "good" (read: really long and somewhat dark) story to share about my last ex prior to the guy I'm with now, but maybe later... I don't know if anyone really wants to hear it or not and I don't think there's really any lessons to be learned there except negative ones.

On a final note, ask away, Blur, we're here to help and share and support.

[Zieke]

Heres my tid bit of advice, maybe for you Blur, but its just general advice.
Ive learned it from experience and seen it happen to many other guys.

Do NOT try to be the Golden Knight saving the "damsel".

too much of a good thing can turn the other way.

[swazworth]

blur..... it's been a couple days now, i think she should be chicago now..... so how is everything going??? is it better or worse since she has been gone?

[Scotsman]

I'm keeping the ladies in constant rotation at the moment mainly because there are next to none worth seriously considering as anything more than eye candy (however shallow that sounds). Something about California girls that just leaves you feeling dry....it's in the air, in the culture. Anyways, I digress; my point is simply that life is WAYYYYYYYYY too short to get hung up on a girl, especially if you're in your twenties, it's just not worth it. Too much time to be spent doing other things that add much more value to your life than any girl ever could. When the right woman comes along, you won't have to break much of a sweat.....at first. As said many times already, relationships take work. It's not all about YOU or the other person, it's a two way street, 50/50 (most folks our generation don't seem to get that, or maybe it's just Southern California? I'm willing to wager it is). I'm cheer'n for yah bud!

[Mindz]

My brother said the same thing about SoCal women. He couldn't stand not being able to have an intelligent conversation for 5 minutes.

[Scotsman]

Originally Posted by Mindz

My brother said the same thing about SoCal women. He couldn't stand not being able to have an intelligent conversation for 5 minutes.

REAL relationships with girls in SoCal seem all but impossible. I remember the very last girl I was seeing..I talked to her a few months after we broke things off and she told me about this guy she just started dating (like I wanted to know)... and you know the first thing she says???? "Yeh, he comes from a very wealthy family....but they didn't start out that way". Yeh, whatever...NOW we know why you're really with the guy. Shame for him and her, the relationship lasted weeks I heard....

Good for me there's a chance I'll be relocating after I graduate next year, maybe I'll have better chances of meeting quality women then.

[scotchsride09]

Yeah; there is a rather high concentration of the ditzy ones down here... luckily, I'm not one of them At least, I like to think I'm not. Also, I'm not technically a native so maybe that helps? Even though I mostly grew up here.

But; here's a hint: the non-ditzy ones don't go to bars and clubs, usually. If you're looking there in SoCal you are probably not going to find anything other than the stereotypical SoCal girl.

[Mindz]

My brother stayed at home with absinthe and went out with his friends to laker games. That's about all he did except go to school.

Scotch, what do ou do if you don't go to clubs and bars? All I could think of was movies and staying in with friends/parties (which are very sparse).

Looks like I need to pay you a visit when I head down to Dego next.