Weird-Al Type Spoof Song Lyrics

[1o.f00t.570rk]

So I've been writing a few of these recently, wanted to share with you all the two complete ones I've done.
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1) "Foodie" (To the tune of Jumper by Third Eye Blind)

I wish you would step back from that fridge my friend,
You could order fries from fast food guys that we've been working with,
And if you do not want me to cook again,
I would understand, I would understand

The self-taught chef, a bit too zealous
Odd ingredients that you won't tell us
You know that spice is strong

You're the first to complain
You're way too proud
You're the sneeze that comes with a pepper cloud
I know this menu's long

Well, everyone I know has got a reason
To say: you can just eat out today

I wish you would step back from that fridge my friend,
You could order fries from fast food guys that we've been working with,
And if you do not want me to cook again,
I would understand, I would understand

And well, you're at the stove now
With the fire's glow
And I do not think that anyone knows
What you're sauteing there

All the sous have left you
With no shopping list
I never thought it would come to this
And I, I want you to know

Everyone's got to face down their cravings
Maybe today, we can try that nice Satay

I wish you would step back from that fridge my friend,

You could order fries from fast food guys that I've been working with,
And if you do not want me to cook for you,
I would understand, I would understand

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2) "One Week" (To the tune of One Week by Barenaked Ladies)

It's been one week since the meeting room
When you stole my ideas and stopped my career bloom
Five days since the email chain
When a lima bean was the size you gave for my brain
Three days since the conference call
When you'd used the wrong supplier but I took the fall
Yesterday I had an interview
But it'll still be two days till I'll bother telling you

Clock in and drink some coffee
News shows Gaddafi
Wonder if he's just the guy you'd like to be
Tossing garbage its a swish
Microwaving some fresh fish
I'm allergic but I've got lots of employee karma to burn

Putting on a lean event
Knowing the people just vent
'Cause they think nothing ever ever changes
Think I'll send this funny video
To all the peeps I know
I've got quite an impressive mailing list

Gonna take another break, meeting's fake
I'd like to take that wheat grass shake
And spike it with some pungent skunk extract
Putting on a show
So that you'll know
The business flow it just won't go
Any worse till I've gone safely away

How can I help it if I think it's funny when you're had
Sending out that resume, I feel glad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at retirement
HR says you don't know your staff?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to spam peoples inboxes
I delete emails I get from you first

It's been one week since my letter came
And so far as I know everything is the same
Five days since I said I do
To a company that'll take me far away from you
It's been three days since you got a hint
When you caught me gathering my belly lint
Yesterday you had an interview
And I'm starting to worry about just what I'll do

Clicking and clocking the days keep passing
I see a new letter but my name is missing
Know it's from that company now
But it's not mine, how?
I sure hope it's not a smoking gun
Like Charlie Sheen I'm sure bi-winning
Like trollface grinning
Y U No leave me forever 'lone?

To pass time I'll make a lolcat
I don't have a cat
But if I did I'd paparazzi
Maybe get a fancy phone
Text you offensively wrong
Then blame it all on auto-correct
Gotta tune out till past noon
Watch toon or someone hoon
I think the unemployed are sometimes happier

How can I help it if I think it's funny when you're had
Sending out that resume, I feel glad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at retirement
HR says you don't know your staff?
You soon will
I have a tendency to spam peoples inboxes
I delete emails I get from you first

It's been one week since you've talked to me
Taking long lunches and leaving early as can be
Five days since I noticed you
Were doing the same things to your boss I've done to you
Three days since since the dreaded call
When the company said taking me wasn't all
Yesterday you announced you'd leave
And all of the sudden I just could not breathe

The company you'd go to was the same as me,
The company you'd go to was the same as me,
I think I need something stronger than whiskey
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So hopefully you get a chuckle, and if you've ever written funny alternative lyrics to a song, let see them!