GM burns Bill Gates (damn it stings)

Dark Knight · 08-23-2007, 09:22 AM

Damn this is good!

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like! Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate - their computer

SSRich · 08-23-2007, 12:06 PM

hahahhahahhahah i love it.

*TAG UR IT* · 08-23-2007, 01:14 PM

lol!!

Kyle.Gilmour · 08-23-2007, 01:27 PM

Quote:

until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna

that almost made me laugh out loud. and its pretty hard to make me do that.

nice post

Just a Skidmark · 08-23-2007, 02:42 PM

jeez, I think some antiseptic is in order, cuz that BURNED!!

*Mr. Wyndham* · 08-23-2007, 03:52 PM

HOLY CRAP!!

You see, people? This is another reason why I love GM.

"8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna."
Ctrl+Alt+Del.....HAHAHAH!!!

, I like the Macintosh one, too.

Eisenhower · 08-24-2007, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dark Knight

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

CRAP!!! My cereal almost went down the wrong tube...:eek: That was great!

Just a Skidmark · 08-24-2007, 04:30 PM

"5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only five percent of the roads."

AWSOME!!

MerF · 08-25-2007, 07:59 AM

I've seen that before, but it makes me laugh every time I read it.

Dave McFly · 08-25-2007, 09:59 AM

hey, what would happen if KITT from Knight Rider was designed by microsoft?

you would get one of these 2 error screens.

any of those would suck if it happned during a chase scene

stevenm357 · 08-26-2007, 01:04 AM

hillarious.. i doubt in seriousness that this happened. but it's still hillarious! thanks for posting it!

bravo kilo · 08-26-2007, 01:39 PM

HAHA!!

storm79 · 08-26-2007, 03:04 PM

this is my favorite one

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying

boxmonkeyracing · 08-26-2007, 06:48 PM

read that a long time ago and it's still funny

08-23-2007, 09:22 AM	#1
Dark Knight Does it come in BLACK? Drives: 2001 FIREBIRD (for now!!) Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Portland,TN Posts: 169	GM burns Bill Gates (damn it stings) Damn this is good! For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like! Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part): 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only five percent of the roads. 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light. 7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying. 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off. Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate - their computer __________________ Good things come to those who wait

08-23-2007, 02:42 PM	#5
Just a Skidmark original senior member Drives: 1993 s10 tahoe 4.3L v6 tbi Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Mableton Georgia Posts: 357	jeez, I think some antiseptic is in order, cuz that BURNED!! __________________ BUILD THREAD http://www.s10forum.com/forum/f30/bi...-tahoe-447771/

08-23-2007, 03:52 PM	#6
Mr. Wyndham I used to be Dragoneye... Drives: 2018 ZL1 1LE Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Buffalo, NY Posts: 31,873 View My Garage	HOLY CRAP!! You see, people? This is another reason why I love GM. "8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna." Ctrl+Alt+Del.....HAHAHAH!!! , I like the Macintosh one, too. __________________ *"Keep the faith."* - Fbodfather

08-24-2007, 04:30 PM	#8
Just a Skidmark original senior member Drives: 1993 s10 tahoe 4.3L v6 tbi Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Mableton Georgia Posts: 357	"5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only five percent of the roads." AWSOME!! __________________ BUILD THREAD http://www.s10forum.com/forum/f30/bi...-tahoe-447771/

08-25-2007, 09:59 AM	#10
Dave McFly new car smell Drives: 2007 Ford Mustang 'Natasha' Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Jamestown, NY Posts: 2,115 View My Garage	hey, what would happen if KITT from Knight Rider was designed by microsoft? you would get one of these 2 error screens. any of those would suck if it happned during a chase scene __________________ "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." George Carlin

08-23-2007, 12:06 PM	#2
SSRich Drives: 1967 camaroSS Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: va Posts: 239	hahahhahahhahah i love it.

08-23-2007, 01:14 PM	#3
TAG UR IT www.Camaro5store.com Drives: 2014 ZL1 #705 Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: SA, Texas Posts: 26,544 View My Garage	lol!!

08-25-2007, 07:59 AM	#9
MerF Go Rays! Drives: 03 Trailblazer Join Date: May 2007 Location: St Pete, Florida Posts: 2,532	I've seen that before, but it makes me laugh every time I read it.

08-26-2007, 01:04 AM	#11
stevenm357 Drives: 98 Trans am 00 Trans am 01 corvette Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: West Virginia Posts: 381	hillarious.. i doubt in seriousness that this happened. but it's still hillarious! thanks for posting it! __________________ 2001 Corvette Heads,Big cam, 4:11, Custom Exhaust, MGW Shifter Baer Eradispeed +2 2 pieces rotors, Hotchkiss swaybars. and a few other little things. 1998 Trans Am A4 ( was STS turbo until the turbo and oil pump died) 2000 WS6 Trans AM under the knife ( sadly turned into long term project.

08-26-2007, 01:39 PM	#12
bravo kilo Drives: 04 SVT Cobra, 05 V-6 Mustang Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Ft. Stewart, GA Posts: 1	HAHA!!

08-26-2007, 03:04 PM	#13
storm79 Drives: 2007 GMC Sierra Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Middle of nowhere Posts: 281	this is my favorite one 7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying __________________