Originally Posted by Scalded Dog
Birds are on my bad list.... I kid you not, there's got to be a bird conspiracy against me right now, because, well, just hear me out.
A few days ago, I went out to my car... looked like somebody has thrown a chocolate shake across the car, but, I wasn't that lucky. It wasn't a chocolate shake.
I wiped it all down, because that stuff WILL eat the clearcoat right off of an otherwise nice car. So, cleaning commenced.
I finished the cleaning, and went out for a jog. When one jogs, breathing is done through the mouth. I'm not typically a "mouth- breather," I swear... but when engaged in physical activity, my mouth is open. And, a foul, evil fowl took the opportunity to drop a load right into my mouth. I didn't even SEE the bird... just, one minute I'm happily running along, breathing in the fresh air, and the next moment I have a mouthful of gritty birdshit. Talk about being pissed.
To add icing to this cake of crap, by the time I returned to my car, bird shit breath and all, there was yet ANOTHER chocolate- shake- looking gallon of slop spread across the car.
And if THAT wasn't enough, in the next two days, one bird dropped a load through the open door of my Silverado, not five seconds after I opened the door... slopped goo across the seat. I suppose I should be glad that it didn't land on me. But the next one, later that same day, did land on me... I was changing the brakes on my wife's car, and a bird targeted my leg... took a load right across the thigh.
So, yeah... I'm pretty fed up with birds. I am convinced that all they do is fly around with shit squirting out of their little bird asses at a furious rate.
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