I think the problem today is that a lot of parents want to be their kid's "friends''...they want to be the "cool" mom or dad...they want to always have their kids "like" them...they don't know how to tell their kids "NO'' and mean it....
That being said, when my sons were growing up, my husband and I kept a united front against our boys, even if we disagreed with each other, we would discuss the situation AWAY from our kids...
Our kids knew "we meant business" when we doled out a punishment...we always followed through with any threat...and NO, they weren't physical punishments, but privileges taken away and stuff like that...
My husband had a cousin who had a drunken driving accident when he was in his early 20s, and thank God he was the only one involved...well, this poor kid spent the next 20+ years as a brain-damaged quadriplegic in a NURSING HOME until his death a few years ago...he did go to high schools and with his sister "speaking" for him, warned teens about the dangers of drinking and driving...
My sons were teens at the time this cousin died and were profoundly affected by his "story"...my younger son Kevin was particularly affected...
When Kevin was a younger teen and was with friends, HE was the one lecturing his friends about underage drinking and told the story of his cousin...if Kevin went to a party and liquor of ANY kind was served, he left...he has told all his friends not to drink, but if they do, he will be "on call" 24/7 to pick them up and drive them home...he refuses to drink alcohol at all, and hates the fact that his friends sometimes drink and smoke pot...he "lectures them to death"...this makes him quite the "unpopular" kid...
My older son Mark at least waited until he was 21 to drink and does so very responsibly and not very often at all...
Not to brag, but Mark graduated Valedictorian of his high school class and graduated Summa Cum Laude from college with a degree in Computer Engineering and has a good job with a local software company that he interned with in college...he remained loyal to them, even though Microsoft wanted him "desperately"....
My son Kevin graduated high school with honors and is in college now studying Electrical Engineering and has been on the Dean's List every semester, even last fall, when my Dad died and Kevin feared he would flunk out that semester, as he was so very distraught at losing his beloved Grandpa...
I just want to make the point that it's ok for our kids to "hate" us as they are growing up, especially the teen years...it's ok to make the "uncool" decisions now to protect them for the future and to ensure they LIVE to have a future...my husband and I wouldn't be concerned if our kids hated us at times, we just wanted them to have a healthy fear of us, and when they were out in the world, they would "think twice" before doing something stupid...they knew what the consequences would be...
I hope you have taken the time to read my rather long story, and if it helps ANY parent at all, then I will feel that I "did my job" to educate any parents that are facing the very difficult teen years at this time...
I'm always available for any advice or helpful hints if you guys need it...I'm always here for my Camaro5 "family"...I care for all of you and want the best for you and your families...
Scott, "keep the faith" and "hang in there"...you are on the "rollercoaster ride from hell" right now with teens in your life, so HANG ON and HOLD TIGHT................I will also pray for your whole family, as well as my continuing prayers for Steph...
Love to all of you...
