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This is something I found on the internet years ago. I changed it somewhat to fit me and sent it to my Mom for Mothers Day a few years ago. I read it at her funeral last October.

The Meanest Mom

I have the meanest mother in the whole world. While other kids ate candy for breakfast, I had to have cereal, eggs or toast. When others had cokes and candy for lunch, I had to eat a sandwich. As you can guess, my supper was different than the other kids' also. To this day when I go to other peoples homes to eat and not like something that is served, I eat it and act like I love it because my mom had the gall to teach me to respect the hard work other people put into food. I’m just afraid she’ll find out I did not treat other people with respect. But at least, I wasn't alone in my sufferings. My sisters and brothers had the same mean mother as I did.

My mother insisted upon knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were on a chain gang. She had to know who our friends were and where we were going. She insisted if we said we'd be gone an hour, that we be gone one hour or less--not one hour and one minute. I am nearly ashamed to admit it, but she actually struck us. Not once, but each time we had a mind of our own and did as we pleased. That poor belt was used more on our seats than it was to hold up Dad's pants. Can you imagine someone actually hitting a child just because he disobeyed? Now you can begin to see how mean she really was.

We had to wear clean clothes and take a bath. The other kids always wore their clothes for days. Why, oh why, did we have to have a mother who made us feel different from our friends? The worst is yet to come. We had to be in bed by nine each night and up at eight the next morning. We couldn't sleep till noon like our friends. So while they slept, my mother actually had the nerve to break the child-labor law. She made us work. We had to wash dishes, make beds, and learn to cook, iron and all sorts of cruel things. I believe she laid awake at night thinking up mean things to do to us.
She always insisted upon us telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, even if it killed us, and it nearly did. By the time we were teen-agers, she was much wiser, and our life became even more unbearable. None of this tooting the horn of a car for us to come running. She embarrassed us to no end by making our dates and friends come to the door to get us. If I spent the night with a friend, can you imagine she checked on me to see if I were really there. I forgot to mention, while my friends were dating at the mature age of 12 and 13, my old fashioned mother refused to let me date until the age of 15 and 16. Fifteen, that is, if you dated only to go to a school function. And that was maybe twice a year.

Through the years, things didn't improve a bit. We could not lie in bed "sick" like our friends did, and miss school. If our friends had a toe ache, a hang nail or serious ailment, they could stay home from school. Our marks in school had to be up to par. Our friends' report cards had beautiful colors on them, black for passing, red for failing. My mother being as different as she was, would settle for nothing less than ugly black marks.

She even embarrassed me on a Boy Scout Bike trip by making my Dad go buy me a new 10 speed bike because I was the only one that still had a one speed stingray. They even caught up with our troop on the road and forced me to ride that new big 10 speed bike instead of my little stingray.

As the years rolled by, first one and then the other of us was put to shame. We were graduated from high school. With our mother behind us, talking, hitting and demanding respect, none of us was allowed the pleasure of being a drop-out.

My mother was a complete failure as a mother. She actually made me sit down and work on my Eagle Scout award. She even made sure I achieved the rank of Eagle Scout. The city embarrassed me by putting this achievement on the Bank marquee. I even got letters from Senators and Governors congratulating me, how embarrassing. My name was even put on a piece of paper and flown to the moon and back because of her making me achieve Eagle Scout, how embarrassing. How could she do this to me?
Out of five children, most of us attained some higher education. One of my brothers and I served our time in the service of this country. And whom do we have to blame for the terrible way we turned out? You're right, our mean mother. Look at the things I missed. I never got to march in a protest parade, or to take part in a riot, and a million and one other things that my friends did.

She made us learn how to hunt and fish. Why? How cruel she was. When I was in the Military I broke the record at Fort Dix for the highest score ever at that base for the M-16 rifle. How embarrassing that was to be called out in front of the Battalion and all the officers to get that award. I even placed second overall on the west coast military regional competition. I also got third overall in the nation shooting against Special Forces, FBI, Green Beret and the best the Marines had to offer. How embarrassing, I kept getting called out front of everyone getting awards that year. All because my mother made me learn how to shoot a gun and God forbid loose at anything.

She always made us feel like we were better than others. Can you believe that? She taught us that we not only had to be smart, but we actually had to work hard as well. Because of her, people thought I worked and tried too hard at everything I did. I just didn’t want to get yelled at again by her for not trying as hard as I should have. I was made a Vice President of a Fortune 500 company in New York City because of the things she made me do. Now I have started my own successful company and don’t dare fail as I really don’t want to get yelled at by her anymore.

She forced us to grow up as God-fearing, educated, honest adults. Using this as a background, I am trying to raise my three children.

I stand a little taller and I am filled with pride when my children call me mean. Because, you see, I thank God, He gave me the meanest mother in the whole world.