[DroptopZ]

Made my decision. I told her that I am willing to tell my friend she can't go, but there are conditions:

1) No more ultimatums unless it is for a VERY important issue. Open discussion is the name of the game.
2) We sit down and write a 'Constitution' so to speak, a living document of rules we want to set up for our house and our marriage that outline our obligations and duties to the other, and the things we can and cannot require, reasonably, of the other person.

I figure this is a good way to make sure we have something set out that helps both of us to make sure we are on the right track, we can refer to it and amend it as time goes on... but this will help make it fair for both of us.

I am still pretty upset by the whole thing, but I can't see another way out of this.