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The underlying issue is your wife is not cool with you having a girl for a best friend. She's alright with her standing up for you in the wedding, but she can't go to the bachelor party? That doesn't make sense to me especially because your brother in law and father in law are going to be there. Your fiance is jealous of this girl and is attempting to control the situation.
You said you don't hang out with your best friend alone out of respect for your fiance. Well what kind of best friends can't hang out together, alone. Trust is a huge part of marriage and it doesn't sound like it's there for you two. If she can't accept her as your best friend (outside your marriage because your wife should be your best friend) then you have a tough decision to make as you'll have to pick between these two girls.
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