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You are wanting to spend the rest of your life with this woman?!? This is all about control. Your bride to be is testing you. You are not winning.
If you want to see where she really stands just "grow a pair" and tell your fiance that your friends (including this woman) and her family will be there. If she feels the need to dictate how you run your life now, imagine how it will be when she has a ring on her finger?!?! If she loves and trusts you, this female friend attending the party will not derail the wedding. If it does derail the wedding, you just saved yourself from a lot of grief and frustration.
On the other hand, some guys are OK with handing their wife their balls to keep in her purse. That doesn't work for me anymore. Been there, left that.
Not trying to be mean, just trying to put a different perspective on this.
-Mark.
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