[aldaron327]

How I dumped my ex wife:

She called me while I was away conducting some training about 16 hours from home to tell me she was leaving and wasn't coming back. I found out from her sister that she was going to visit some guy that she had been talking to online while I was away. I called her and told her that she was going to come down and settle things in person because she owed me that much. She finally agreed to come down to where I was staying (2 days drive for her) and in the meantime, one of our mutual friends contacted me and spilled the beans that not only had she gone to see this shitbag, but that they hooked up. She showed up to the base where I was conducting training and I walked out the door to my room as she pulled up. I immediately demanded the keys to "her" car (technically mine), her check book (our account), her ATM card, and her companion card to my credit card. I had already transferred all the money out of the joint account to a new one, so she couldn't drain my funds. I took off my wedding band and crushed it (I was pretty pissed off) and chucked it to/at her. It made a satisfying thunk as it bounced off her chest. She had about 20 bucks in her pocket and got really upset when I told her to GTFO. She started crying and asked me how she was supposed to get home to her Dad's to which I replied, "I don't know... why don't you F*&K your way home?! That seems to be your thing now."

Then I felt bad so I got her a plane ticket back home (150 bucks). Then I made her call her dad to let him know what transpired and got on the phone to him and said, "I did my best. She's your problem again," and hung up. I got home about 3 weeks later and had already drawn up the divorce papers and gotten a lawyer. The divorce was finalized less than a week later. God, I love Kansas!