|
I haven't hit this hard in a while. Been considered clinically depressed with a high anxiety disorder for years after a near suicide. In the last year I found out that one of my good college friends was in fact a border line serial killer (two murders - one in New York, the other in Kalamazoo) and a total sociopath (who on one side seemed such a bonafide family man and hardened vet). This is two years after I had graduated college.
Now coming up on 25, I have very little to show for the past two years of my life except a wrecked Trans Am and a shoestring budget. No liscense, not much else than a 2 year pity party of spinning my tires.
Literally throwing my heart at a girl who I have all to much in common with but she just puts up a wall. Of which I'm slowly dismantling but I'm not sure to what avail.
Honestly don't know what to make of it but for the past two months though (not related to the weather) my depression and anxiety have taken a dive. I never drink but recently I took to pounding back 6 packs of malt liquor and things like hard cider. Stopped because I never felt anything better of it..
I think the joy in my life and my drive for it is just slipping. I dunno.
|