It all depends on what you want to do with it. Different tactical situations call for different guns. It's hard to say what the perfect all- around gun is. My recommendation to family members and friends who are looking to buy their first pistol has always been the Glock 19. It's the perfect all around
handgun IMO. It's small enough to conceal, but has more than enough capacity when used with standard capacity magazines. Unfortunately, you'll be limited to 10 round mags in Commiefornia, so I guess that's less of a consideration.
Glocks are relatively simple and easy to maintain. I've owned and daily carried them (both 9mm and .40) for over 13 years and I've never had one break on me or fail to fire for some reason that wasn't due to "operator error." They're practically indestructible. Their quality is great. You can spend a lot more money to get a better quality handgun, but there is no way you'll be able to spend less and get a better quality gun.
We can let this devolve into a caliber flame war a la
www.glocktalk.com, but if you or the missus are new shooters then I recommend a 9mm handgun primarily for one reason: 9mm ammo is relatively cheap compared to other calibers. If you're going to get a gun you need to know how to use it and you're going to need to put a lot of rounds through it to get proficient. If you go with a larger caliber, the ammo will cost more and that might cause you to put off getting in range time.
Another reason I recommend 9mm to new shooters is that the felt recoil is relatively low compared to other calibers. If your first gun feels like it's going to break your wrist every time you pull the trigger, you'll start making excuses not to practice. Learn with a 9mm and then move up into bigger calibers if you decide you want to become a gun nut.
Load it up for self- defense with 147 grain hollow points from Federal or Speer and you'll have plenty of power to throw at the bad guys. Get cheap stuff to practice with, but don't skimp when it comes to what you have it loaded with for self- defense purposes.
Good luck. Hope this helps. I will end with some gun porn from my personal stash. This is my 1993 Glock 19: