Just realized how old this thread is... I was going to delete what I wrote but it might help someone.
If you aren't willing to cause yourself discomfort with heavy squatting, deadlifts, bench pressing, and overhead pressing with some chins/rows thrown in, you are cheating yourself. To make new ground, you have to step outside your comfort zone.
You don't have to worry about getting bodybuilder big. That doesn't happen without steroid use. I have never known anyone to gain muscle and say "I'm too big, I need to stop." They like it and they want more.
Diet will be the biggest influence on your goals. I suggest hiring a dietician to give you a diet. I can suggest a couple of online sources who have had marvelous success with people.
www.shelbystarnes.com (he just won at the Michigan NPC show)
www.joshstrength.com
They both charge around $250 for 12 weeks of diet consultation where they basically tell you what/when to eat. Josh even gives a workout. I'm not sure Shelby does.
Lift heavy, eat a lot (more than you think you need), and get plenty of rest. It will come.