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Ladybugsmom,
Your stepson sounds like a kid who is lost. He sounds like someone who is trying to find something that he's not getting at home. Every boy at 12 is generally looking at girls, but attention at any level, good or bad, is something some people don't get. What I'm getting at is that it's possible he's not getting the attention he's seeking at home.
You may love him, his mother and father may love him, but is it possible that he is simply not feeling "loved"?
I've never known my father, and I'm on stepdad #3, so I can understand what a divorce can do to a child. It's especially difficult as they get older. I watched my younger brother go through a similar stretch when he hit about the same age.
My mother was afraid to discipline him most of the time, rarely doing more than grounding or the rare spanking. His father would spank him but that was it. Grounding him didn't work because he never cared about going outside. Taking his things from him really didn't work either, as eventually he would do other things.
Is he involved in any activities? Does he have any hobbies that he likes that the family as a whole can be a part of?
I've spent my time out on the street fighting, getting into trouble, doing my fair share of dirt. I was very fortunate to not get caught 99% of the time. Kids will do it because we can....for any reason we can come up with.
Several have mentioned it, but the big thing has got to be to get him to express why he really did take it to school. My guess? He's wanting for someone to make him feel a way he's not getting at home. That could be as simple as the words, great job Tommy, you did a fantastic job on that son....etc...
To give you a point of reference....after almost 10 years as my 2nd stepdad, he could not correctly spell my first name.... so maybe take a look at the things that you and his parents are doing as a whole. Maybe there is something that is going on that he's simply acting out about. I can't speak on some of this because I don't know a whole lot....but I am just giving a different perspective on what I've seen in my life...
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