A Ricer’s Guide to Driving
It’s the day you have been waiting for your entire life. A few weeks ago you passed your driving test, and purchased your first car. In that time, you have slaved over your new baby, slowly transforming it from a front-wheel drive hatchback into a certified street racer. You have installed a body kit, new racing gauges, a new exaust, and more stickers than you can count. Today however it is finally finished. You just bolted on the rear wing. Now that your car with its 4 speed automatic gearbox and tire-melting 96 horsepower is finished, it’s time to get really good at driving it. You are a new driver so you have much to learn, and I am not going to deny that the road ahead of you is long and full of many potholes. Yet, I am sure with practice and determination, you will succeed in your mission to become the greatest driver ever. Below I have compiled the 10 Commandments of Fast and Furious driving.
1. You must tailgate at all times. If you are more than a foot away from the car in front of you, you are not trying hard enough.
2. Never turn off your high beams. You get extra points if they are aimed up.
3. Signaling lets others know where you are going. Winning the race is easier if other cars can never be sure where you plan to go next.
4. Always weave through traffic. Your car was built with extremely advanced suspension and handling. Use it.
5. Speed limits are for suckers. Live a little.
6. Never check your mirrors when you are changing lanes. When you are traveling over 100 mph in a car with drum brakes, it is important to keep your eyes on the road at all times.
7. Don’t talk on the phone. You have an unlimited texting plan. Use it.
8. Your parking brake is actually designed for handbrake turns. Make sure to practice on wet roads at high speeds. Good drifters are sideways at all times.
9. Everybody loves the sound your car makes with your new exhaust. Share this sound with as many people as you can by driving through residential neighborhoods at wide open throttle no earlier than 2 a.m.
10. Don’t upgrade your brakes when you buy bigger rims. Physics doesn’t apply to your car. Stopping distances don’t matter as much as looks anyway.
Source:
http://www.dailyinterweb.com/2008/10...de-to-driving/