[hot_rod]

THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER - When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run,
my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow
I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the
car, playing golf, Always something more important to me. Finally
she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home
one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away
with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short
time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when
I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish
cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.'

How Fights Start....... One year, a husband decided to buy his
mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.. The next year, he
didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you
still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how
the fight started.....

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we
were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have ***?'
'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' She
didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.' So I said,
'Then I'd like to phone a friend.' And that's when the fight
started...
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for
$14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her
the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And
that's when the fight started.....
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first...'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He
said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for
herself.' And that's when the fight started.....
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the
channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And then the
fight started...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and
she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone
at a nearby table. I asked her, 'Do you know him?' 'Yes,' she sighed,
' He's my old boyfriend I understand he took to drinking right after
we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober
since.' 'My God!' I said, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?' And then the fight started...