[Mark A Collier Sr]

MY Turn for Blonde Jokes

It was mealtime during a flight on Blonde Airlines. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied.


There are 3 people standing in front of a magic mirror. The mirror gives you anything you desire if you tell it the truth, but you disappear if you lie. The first person to talk to the mirror was a very fat brunette. She walked up to the mirror and said "I think I am the thinnest person in the world." and poof, the mirror gobbled her up. The next person to come up to the mirror was a very ugly red head. She told the mirror "I think I am the prettiest person in the world" and poof, the mirror gobbled her up. Lastly came the blonde. She walked up to the mirror and said "I think..." and poof, the mirror gobbled her up.


An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice.
The doctor advised that she run 10 miles a day for 30 days.
This, he promised, would help her lose as much as twenty pounds.

The blonde follows the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she'd indeed lost twenty pounds.

She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question:

"How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"


Q. How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A. She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
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Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
A. "Look! They spelled MACY's wrong!"
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Q. Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A. Her blinker was on.
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Q. What do you call a blond skeleton in a clothes closet?
A. The 1960 hide-and-go-seek champion.
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Q. How did the blonde hurt herself while raking the leaves?
A. She fell out of the tree
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Q. How do you get a twinkle in a blonde's eye?
A. Shine a flashlight in her ear.
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Q. How do blonde brain cells die?
A. Alone.