I don't want to say I'm awesome but....I'M AWESOME...
my friggen Ex-Husband was lucky as sht to have me - I didn't care what the hell he spent his money on - as long as the bills he was in charge of paying got paid then have friggen fun with the rest of it....
I didn't btch about what he spent his money on so he couldn't btch about what I spent my money on (and yes - like your wife I have more shoes then I could ever need - too many that I've lost count in the triple digits and I don't care....my money...my addiction....)
I have never told a man it's ok for me to waste money and not for him - as long as the bills are getting paid then that left over money should be used for whatever you want. I mean, within reason...