Ok... let's see... where to start where to start...
First off, my husband usually posts on here, but this is the wife, and I'm the one that usually posts on the "relationship" threads...
That said.. My husband and I are happily married and have an AMAZING relationship and we are (gasp) 14 years apart in age. I'm 23, he's 37.
We met and started dating when I was 19 (2 months shy of being 20) and he was 33. He didn't look 33 (still doesn't look 37), but I knew from the start how old he was. We started out as friends first, and he knew how old I was. I have always been told I have an old soul and act way too old for my age. Always. All my life. That being said, if someone is wise beyond their years and is mature, they won't lie about their age, and they won't let their friends lie either. That's an IMMATURE sign.
I have 3 older brothers who have a reputation of being NOT so nice about who I date and so on. A dad and 2 grandpas who are VERY protective Marines (not in the service anymore, but there's no such thing as a former Marine). I'm the only girl in the family, so I was never allowed to do the same things my brothers got to do... but that's beside the point.
I told my mom how old my husband was before anyone met him... and she promised not to tell anyone. She didn't care though. Danny met my entire family and they all liked him a lot. Shortly after they found out how old he was and I prepared for the blow up... They didn't blow up. One brother was pissed I didn't tell him from the get go, oh well, they're good friends now.
Danny was worried when I turned 21 I'd want to go out and party and go clubbing and just go crazy. He didn't want to hold me back if that's what I wanted to do, even though that really wasn't his "thing" anymore. I assured him he woudn't hold me back, it wasn't something I'd be into either. I partied in high school, drank, went crazy. Got it all out of my system. Turning 21 wasn't going to be a big deal for me...
And it wasn't. I turned 21... We had a party with friends, and we went to one club. And it just drove home that it wasn't my "thing" either...
We got engaged when I was 21 and married when I was 22. I'm now 23 and our first anniversary is coming up (june 13th!), and I can say we have a WONDERFUL marriage.
Do we have the same kind of relationship most 23 year olds have? NOPE.
5 days after our wedding we went to the ER thinking my husband had appendicitis. Nuh-uh... turned out to be colon cancer. Stage 3. The past 9 months have been rough, but we're getting through it together. Did I ever think that at 23, in my first year of marriage, I'd have to handle my husband having cancer? No. Did I deal with it? Yes. Could I have handled it a few years ago? Hmmm... not sure. I've grown up a LOT since meeting Danny. We both have, separately and together.
I was still young (even though I was mature and blah blah) and would pick fights over the most ridiculous things, and Danny would just tell me that "this is one of those thigns that won't matter tomorrow, or next week, or next month, so do you really want to waste your time fighting over it?" Or I'd storm off and slam a door and he'd follow me and make me talk out the issue with him, instead of closing off and being unhappy.
We have developed a better relationship than most people I know have, and maybe that's because I made my "mistakes" in high school with my serious boyfriend then. Or maybe it's because I found someone who had everything I ever wanted in a partner. Or maybe it's because we're suppsoed to be together.
I don't know.
I guess my point is relationships CAN work with a big age gap, but they're not necessarily easy, not while the younger person is growing up and into his/her own person. And not when they're based off of a lie.
If they care for each other so much, then they can stay friends for another year or two... and then see where it goes... or I guess if everyone is ok with the relationship, they can try to stay together for ever.... but it won't be easy...
But there should never be secrets. There should never be lies. Not from the person in the relationship or their friends...